Wednesday, June 20, 2018

WEP: Oh Darn, It's Yarn!

The cat will have some fun, if you want a non-rhyme short story you can go to Pat's other one. You know, the boring blog. We aren't letting him here to be a time hog. All would run away. Now on with the tale of the day.


Cassie and I were snoozing on the bed until a familiar thing was said. It had actually become a not so familiar thing as of late, but that doesn't sound as good out of the gate. I used an idiom too. What you gonna do? Gonna get upset with gonna? You know you wanna.

"What did you fleabags do to Drazin this time?"

The godly mook was back. He ruined my time to give you flack. He just yapped and yapped and yapped. It seems that he was trapped. Actually, he was trapped. No seems should be flapped. You either are or you are not. Damn, where am I going with this plot. That was rhetorical to me, so no question mark came to be.

"Free Drazin from this thing, fleabags. Drazin will skin you and make you slippers and make your human eat them if you don't free Drazin this instant."

"The godly mook is going to blow a gasket." Cassie rolled her eyes and trotted to his cage. She sure never wanted to flip the page. She was having too much fun. Drazin sure had been spun.

"Don't whack Drazin there. Drazin really will skin you fleabags."

The godly mook made his eyes glow. He is a god, you know. Or maybe you did not. We still are not so sure on that plot. Hey, that plot's on you. How are we to know if it is true?

"The godly mook went for a spin. Please tell us that you aren't going to commit sin."

"Fleabag, take your rhymes and shove them up your hairy ass."

"The godly mook has no class." My smirk made him snort. I wish that was all that occurred and we had hit abort.

Cassie grabbed one side and I another. The two strands could have been from the same mother. Does yarn have a mother? Maybe it was a sister or brother. Anyway, we yanked with glee and watched as the true godly mook came to be. Bald head, red glowing eyes, goatee, and shiny gold armor to match the shine from his head. Why couldn't we have just stayed in bed? Actually, it was on bed, but that sounds weird when said.

"Drazin doesn't know what you fleabags are up to, but Drazin doesn't want any part of it."

"And you think we want any part of you? Pffft, godly mooks." Cassie began to trot away and then it looked as if she started to play.

"Are you going to swat at it? Don't eat it or Pat will have a fit." I jumped five feet in the air. I can do that at our lair. The yarn had come alive. Or maybe it was already alive and just wanted to play dead to survive.

The two strands went this way and that. They wrapped around Cassie, Drazin, and this rhyming cat. This alive yarn thing was no fun. I would much rather give zombie feet a run. It squeezed and I thought I would burst. Alive yarn is just the worst. Now I sound like a teenage girl. Hey, you give fighting off magic yarn a whirl.

"Fleabags, chew your way free."

"Why can't you burn it, godly mook?" Cassie tried to chew but it would not do.

"We are good and screwed. This yarn has attitude."

"Drazin has had enough of this." Drazin tried to squirm free. His enough of magic yarn did not come to be.

The yarn flipped off us that way and flopped off us this way. Either way, it did not make our day. It then stretched some ends about and spelled some words out.

"You shall never eat us again," Cassie mumbled after the words un-jumbled.

"Drazin knew that you fleabags were the cause of this." Drazin's eyes glowed a little brighter. I really need to invest in a lighter.

"I haven't eaten yarn in years. Pat scolded me and never gave me cheers."

"Don't look at me, godly mook. I just eat plants and thin cords." Cassie cringed as she got squeezed more. Then we heard the turning of the door. Actually the knob, but you knew that I meant that and not corn on the cob. Hey, it rhymed and like Pat, it was well timed.

Pat came home from work. He was ready to go berserk. Our deus ex machina moment had come. Whoops, the yarn grabbed him and knocked him on his bum. Pat then whacked his head against the wall. He was out cold and of no use at all.

"No. You!" Cassie read the next words that came, and we watched as it pointed toward its end game.

"Drazin never touched yarn in Drazin's life."

"Not yarn. Spaghetti." Cassie rolled her eyes right quick. She can do that some slick. "Really? The alive yarn has a multiple personality complex? That's worse than the godly mook."

The yarn squeezed her until she could not talk. We really had to make this messed up yarn take a walk. So we did the only thing we could do. We let loose some pee and slipped on through. Yarn and cat pee do not mix. Hey, it's one of our go to tricks.

"We will have all humans for eating us every day." Cassie darted into a closet after having her say and went to her enemy that was hidden from display.

"If humans ate you, they would turn to dead meat stew." I taunted and dodged each strike while Drazin eyed me in extreme dislike. I could tell it was extreme. How? He continued to scream.

"Get Drazin out of here so Drazin can fry this thing, fleabags."

I dashed to his side and tried to bite through. The yarn was too tough, which proved it wasn't some spaghetti stew. And I was all out of number one. So I did what I do best and went for a run.

Around and around I went. The yarn really became bent. That would be upset and actually bent around corners and such. Do you think I have used actually too much? Maybe literally is the better choice. Bah, let's just finish so we can rejoice.

It let go of Drazin to stretch and chase me. By the time I was done, yarn was everywhere to see. It stretched this way and that and it never clued in while chasing the cat.

"We shall prevail and stop all who eat us." Cassie just shook her head. What? Did you think she was dead? She had a rough go. It is a scary machine, you know.

Cassie hit a button right quick. She stepped aside as Drazin grabbed it after realizing her trick.

"We shall not be eaten my ass." Drazin read the words and added the last two. He then sucked up that magic yarn that came due. The vacuum sounded ready to bust, but that machine we already distrust.

"That's not all. There is still more up and down every wall." I trotted to some more. That magic yarn wanted a WEP encore.

"Not if Drazin can help it." Drazin got rid of the rest, proving that the vacuum can pass the everything has a good point test. "There, now that Drazin has saved you fleabags, Drazin can get home."

Pat woke up just in time to see Drazin fade away. He, of course, had to have his say. "Thy demon will be slain."

"Too slow. Let the voices go."

"Time you fed us."

We trotted over to our dishes and made a wish for fishes. We ate what Pat gave, it was nothing over which to rant and rave.

"Oh, and you may want to invest in a new one of those." Cassie gleefully finished her meal while the smoking vacuum struck a pose.

"Thy demon shall pay for..."

I whacked Pat upside the head, not wanting to listen to what King Arthur said.

"Thanks. What the hell happened?" Pat tilted his head to the side. His OCD may have been mad that we ended his cleaning ride, but after we told him of the yarn's magic trick, he ditched that vacuum full of yarn with a complex some slick.

After that we returned to our nap, each of us glad we had beaten the magic yarn's trap. Did the yarn trap us though, or was it another foe? I guess that is a story for another day. No guessing as I know...right...done...okay!

Words: About Six Thirds

Ever have magic yarn come after you? Did you escape like we did at our zoo? Any thoughts on the rhyming cat? We just started and out popped that. I hope magic yarn with a multiple personality disorder never comes to pass. We wouldn't want that after our little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

63 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. That's 4 in a row
      Let it glow let it grow!

      Hank

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    3. Mistake you did make
      With a Hank partake

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  2. Enjoyed the short story
    But much prefer your verse.
    That magic yarn certainly
    Is a perpetual curse.

    Happy Wednesday to all at your bay.
    Yvonne.

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  3. I never did trust those fleabags!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have to watch out
      When those bags are about

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  4. Good Morning

    That story was quite amusing
    with adventures it was oozing

    I can honestly say no magic yarn ever gave me chase... haha

    Went to your dishes making wishes for fishes (haha)

    Pat didn’t grant you your wish...
    I guess dinner wasn’t delicious

    Not even a trout
    Out and about...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing out
      Cat's in a drought
      He may starve one day
      Pffft right at our bay
      Yarn may come alive
      But wishes and dishes shall survive

      Delete
  5. This was an entertaining read
    I’m glad the yarn did not feed
    On your pussy cats, that’s scary
    But they were wary
    So out came the vacuum
    So the yarn met its doom.
    I loved this story
    Better than “finding Dory.”

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Finding Dory was meh at best
      Glad we passed that test

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  6. Oh no, multiple personality disorder magic yarn. Yikes!
    I had a cat that ate yarn once. It must have been magic too, because it turned him into a yo yo if you get my drift:)

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    Replies
    1. haha yank and pull it back
      As he tried to eat it at your shack

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  7. A vacuum that sucks up evil yarn, where can I buy one. Mine goes kaput when it come across my long hair! :)
    Thoroughly enjoyed and I can see it all from the view point of the cat! What fun they had. Can't wait till the evil moving light invades their domain.
    Good for you, two for the WEP!

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    Replies
    1. Two for one
      Just wanted to be done
      Super vacuum at our sea
      Pat made it come to be

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  8. I would have loved this in my high school English class!

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  9. That was fun to read. My grandma used to call our dog a fleabag. lol

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    Replies
    1. haha I've heard it used a bunch
      Seems to pack a punch

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  10. And you were out cold and missed the whole adventure!

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  11. Hi,
    I love cats. They can get into the darndest things. Excellent story with lots of humour.
    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat G

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cats sure can get into much
      As magic yarn reaches out to touch

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  12. Snorting with mirth. (Quietly so the cat doesn't hear). And wondering just what was in my early morning cuppa. Did I read this, or dream it...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha you never know what could be in there
      Or we are just nuts at our lair

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  13. orlin N cassie....a pawz a pawz a paws.....984 oh em ta dad...we dunno how him doez thiz ! grate storee two day N now we shall go pee on sum yarn in dadz honor ~~ ☺☺☺☺☺☺♥♥

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    Replies
    1. haha make sure not to miss
      Can't give that yarn bliss

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  14. WEll that was a long story but very entertaining. Pat you have a super day.

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    Replies
    1. Glad it could entertain
      Hope a good one is had at your lane

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  15. clever writing. The only magic yarn I dealt with was in trying to learn to knit and having a tangled mess. Almost strangled, I'm lucky I'm here to write this comment

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    Replies
    1. haha wanted you dead
      Poor yarn trying to take off your head

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  16. Damn! I can't remember the last time we were treated to a Drazin appearance!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Been a while since he showed up here
      But in some books he has been near

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  17. Ha Ha, Pat. A great unravelling magic yarn, the evil adventures of the cats while the Big Cat sleeps, oblivious. Your cleverness never ceases to amuse...great idea for a WEP yarn...

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    Replies
    1. Clever works for we
      As we go all crazy yarn at our sea

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  18. Superfun take on the prompt. A great contrast to the other dark story...both so well done.

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    Replies
    1. A flip from the other one
      As the cat had fun

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  19. All I can say to this funny tale is
    While the boss is away
    the cats will play.

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  20. Of course Cats would have magic yarn as a foe, lol. Is the vacuum a Shark? I have one that sucks up everything, including the cats if they don't get out of the way fast enough. Serves them right for shedding all that hair!!

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    Replies
    1. haha have to watch those things
      Suck up all the hair that flings

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  21. Sounded like the story could have went in another direction when I came upon the ass eating line. We don't need no kitty porn here lol

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    Replies
    1. lol yeah, best to avoid that
      Be nasty to the cat

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  22. I broke it down and rhyming lines
    As I read your story it took some time
    Some of your words were quite bizarre
    And I still went and gave it three stars

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  23. Cats I have known were always tempted by yarn for playing and chewing. 'If it looks interesting, eat it' was their motto. Well done, Felines, glad to see you at WEP. And no, I've never been chased by demonized yarn, but I have had to the urge to murder it when it gets tangled. . .

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    Replies
    1. Chewing the ones here sure do
      Could end bad at our zoo
      Murder that yarn
      Or toss it in the barn

      Delete
  24. My dogs get called fleabags when they share their fleas with the cat who can't take flea meds without puking all over.

    Fun to read! Your poet side was still showing.

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    Replies
    1. Still wanted to show
      haha fleabags seems to get around high and low

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  25. Can magic yarn itself knit?
    That would sure be a hit!
    Way to go Cassie,
    For breaking free!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha would be neat
      They sure did defeat

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  26. Thanks to your rhymes
    your words are now lodged
    deep inside my brain
    and cannot be dodged.

    This story was creative
    and entertaining to read.
    You spun a good yarn.
    You've done well indeed.

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    Replies
    1. And look at you
      A fine retort too
      Hopefully your brain
      Has no pain

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  27. Hi Pat - I cannot match your words, nor your storyline ... magic yarn, with vacuums full of fleas and yarn ... wonderful story telling - cheers Hilary

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  28. Better deep six that vacuum lickitty-split.

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