Monday, July 2, 2018

Isn't It Dandy When A Shotgun Is Handy?

Pat had to go this way and that the other day. Great Nanny wanted to go into the woods and play. Or look where relatives came from. Maybe she wanted a new chum? Beats me. But the dirt roads were rather creepy.

Found off the beaten path,
The roads of Jason's wrath.
Anything and everything a chap can think,
As further into the roads you sink.

Trespassing allowed.
Some stand proud.
Pitchforks and toothless grins.
Preening those butt chins.

The mind sure flows.
Filled with Deliverance and banjos.
Squeal like a pig?
Rather dance a jig.

Reach the end of the road.
Shotguns ready to unload.
Big signs in your face.
No trespassing is the case.

The squeaking of gates.
The animals and their mates.
Discovery channel eat your heart out.
Was that a backwoods shout?

The hillbillies are coming.
Their banjos are strumming.
Turn and go back.
Avoid such an attack.

More roads to try.
They catch the eye.
Houses with holes.
Some rotting telephone poles.

Big basements in each.
Torture chambers in reach.
The road bumps along.
Please car, hold strong.

No signal at the tone.
Clutch that useless phone.
A twist and a turn.
A stomach may churn.

Eyes widen in fear.
You may shed a tear.
Hillbillies coming from behind.
Pavement! Civilization of some kind.

Go into the scary woods lately at your sea? Pat is kinda dramatic with what came to be. Although one did have a shotgun handy. Getting that in the arse wouldn't have been dandy. Or maybe it was a stick. Hey, you can pick. We'll stay far away from hillbilly land. Dirt roads just aren't grand. Did you ever trespass on a no trespass? I'll avoid that too with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer. 

51 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Good Morning Alex
      Early with a ninja attack
      at the cats shack

      Delete
    2. Congrats Alex
      Good morning True
      Right on ninja attack
      The stage getting crowded too!

      Hank

      Delete
    3. A crowded stage
      Filling up the page

      Delete
    4. Kinda quick too
      At his ninja shoe

      Delete
    5. Ever so quick
      In some slick

      Delete
  2. I've never had a shotgun,
    Though at times I wish I had.
    To all those awful people,
    Who have made me feel so bad.

    Have a good July Pat, great verse.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  3. One of the many reasons I won't venture into the woods here. That and ticks. And mosquitoes. And it's just plain dirty...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, stupid ticks abound
      And all the nastiness sure does surround

      Delete
  4. Isn't it Dandy a Shotgun is Handy
    Landowners all waiting at the ready
    Trespassers beware
    They must be aware
    Play safe not to be hurting anybody

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Play safe by running away
      Don't go there any day

      Delete
  5. Not me, I'm not going anywhere near the woods!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wise way to be
      We wish it were true for me

      Delete
  6. The woods can be nice for a walk
    I might even see a couple of hawks

    I have to admit ticks worry me here
    I would like them to disappear

    I once shot a 22 with my father in the woods
    that had a kick, shook me where I stood...

    Why he thought I’d like that I will never know


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can keep the walk in the woods
      May find freaky people with hoods
      Most I've fired is a pellet gun
      Can't say I find guns fun

      Delete
  7. A walk in the woods is always good but you do have to be careful. Seeing all the birds etc. is fun to do. Pat you have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Careful you have to be
      Especially if bears come for thee

      Delete
  8. Oddly, when I read your poem I began to think of the old movie "Deliverance" with those dangerous hillbillies. That movie gave me nightmares for a long time after I saw it and I really would NOT want to see it again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha I always reference that when going into the deep, dark woods here
      Sure is something to fear

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  9. Once a week I pass a deer shelter on an adjacent road and I'm tempted to trespass and go knock it over.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha watch that temptation
      Could get you in a police station

      Delete
  10. No woods are scary at my plate;
    I just love this mountainous state!
    Now bears and ticks and lightning do
    Cause care to be taken on cue,
    But outdoors is better every day
    Than the office as a place to play.

    Happy belated Canada Day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The office sure can stink
      But bears and ticks are a fink
      Especially the latter
      And I don't want to help bears get fatter

      Delete
  11. That's why I stay out of the woods
    too scary in there for me
    no matter if it is day or night
    from that area I do flee!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good way to be
      Nothing there one wants to see

      Delete
  12. We did hit some scary travel recently in Arkansas. Good gravy. I haven't seen Deliverance but I've heard about it and that was the first thing I was thinking. That, and let's get the heck outta here. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha so Arkansas is a place to avoid
      Deliverance sure has made all paranoid

      Delete
  13. Lol, I didn't think there were any hillbillies in your neck of the woods!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'd be wrong
      Very very much so as they are strong

      Delete
  14. I know when you live in the country you keep a rifle handy.
    You never know who might show up on that lonely country road.
    So being prepared for a stranger is just dandy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Prepared and have good aim
      Have to watch out for their claim

      Delete
  15. Are there any hillbillies in your... errr... neck of the woods? (Please excuse the expression.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't think there were that many
      Actually didn't think there were any
      But having to go to hell and back
      Yeah, saw them and I swear one is a serial killer at his shack lol

      Delete
  16. orlin N cassie...noe woods heer.....and de concreet jungle iz knot a present either...ya noe ~~~~~ ☺☺☺♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, sure not one indeed
      Crime wave nuts at that feed

      Delete
  17. Nothing more reassuring than a dirt road

    ReplyDelete
  18. Never know what you're going to find at the end of a dirt road!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And probably don't want to know
      Away one should go

      Delete
  19. A shot gun? Yikes!
    Funny you should mention Deliverance. We were just talking about a Deliverance-type place we'd encountered:) Needless to say we didn't stick around.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha good way to be
      One gets that feeling and they need to flee

      Delete
  20. We have a wooded area that the kids like to drive through cause rumor has it it's haunted. It is creepy to drive through and we saw a flipped car on our adventures when I was a teen. Shotgun holes through all the stop signs too. Doesn't look so spooky in the day light though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd rather deal with ghosts than psycho hillbillies after me
      Guess they wanted the stop signs to flee?

      Delete