Sunday, September 30, 2018

A Hidden Post At Our Coast!

Can you see this post today? I didn't blind you with white at my bay? Are you reading it now? Are you confused somehow? I don't know if you'll answer me. This post is hidden from thee.

Hidden from view.
Said it to you.
Oh, what a find.
Only if you're blind.

Hidden from view.
Is there a clue?
Does X mark the spot?
I probably think not.

Hidden from view.
My thoughts on stew.
Well that may be true.
Did such a post come due?

Hidden from view.
That improved with new.
Yeah, that's a fail.
Already hit that trail.

Hidden from view.
This post for you.
Blind you'll be.
You just can't see.

Hidden from view.
Does this need a clue?
Maybe you do too.
Because its hidden from view.

Oh, you can see it?
What's up with that shit?
Wait. We can fix that.
Don't go cursing the cat.

Hidden in plain sight.
Isn't that just all right.
So sight is now plain?
My, hard on the brain.

Plain, blind and not.
That's some evil plot.
Right there hidden in view.
I forgot the plain at our zoo.

Hidden in plain sight,
This post that took flight.
Hidden from view,
The nuts two by two.

Can you use hidden when really it is not? Is something really hidden when in sight it is caught? Even if you don't see it is there. So technically not hidden at your lair. Unless hidden in a box on the rooftop. Then that wouldn't be a flop. Is my rant hidden from the class? Don't worry, I'm a confusing little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, September 29, 2018

The Tiny Way With A Large Display!

Did the cat contradict himself there? Beats me at my lair. I do it all the time with my first and third person chime. So I'll do it some more. But this one is on the human shore.

This is better.
Read our letter.
It's gotten small.
But damn it all.

The paper is the same size.
Length, width, and height flies.
As in passes like before.
But we got thinner at our shore.

But we won't stop there.
New and improved comes to the fair.
Yeah, those two words together are total bullshit,
But shhhhhh, we don't have to spread it.

For it's the same great machine.
It is still shiny and clean.
It can still do the same.
But we shrunk it to make our claim.

And we didn't stop there.
We have another surprise to spare.
It is the best one yet.
The price is a safe bet.

It will stay the same.
Hey, we aren't to blame.
It may cost less to make,
But in marketing we still have to partake.

Yep, that is truly it.
The whole truth with no bullshit.
Actually the price may increase.
We'll blame it on the markets in Greece.

But for right now,
You and your friends can wow.
You'll get it for the same great price as before.
Smaller, but our ads are still large in store.

Oh, and we sell food too.
Same great product you knew,
But less in the package that you buy.
Same great price, that's no lie.

So enjoy the mini quest.
We give you our best.
It will never get taller.
In fact, next month it may get smaller.

Don't you love that? Same price for their shrinking, not so-shrinking, or other scat? Then they are all whelmed about it while they spurt their bullshit. The sheep lap it up too. Oh look, a mini machine thingy in view. Yep, that really impresses in mass. Much like a flea on my same-sized little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, September 28, 2018

Do You Know What's Gonna Blow?

Suza may blow a gasket at her sea. I used gonna and now wanna came to be. I had to let that flow. I'm not going to repeat it though. At least not 50,000 times. That would be way too many rhymes.

The names change.
Some are strange.
Some are not.
Each the same plot.

Yet each the same say.
Yep, only so many a way.
But they say and say and say.
Like there's never been such a display.

Oh, it's coming for you.
Coming times two.
Or maybe times three.
That is a worse category.

Got it now?
Did my rhyme wow?
Wow as in rather bad?
Did it make you mad?

Same thing, different ways.
I can go on for days.
The questions sure arise.
They just come out like flies.

No sources needed.
Yesterday they were deeded.
This is just show and tell.
Use a green screen for a spell.

Or maybe can't spell.
But what the hell.
You can talk.
Also can squawk.

Squawk like a parrot.
Sheep follow the carrot.
Would that be a donkey?
Beats some old umm honkey?

Honkey Tonk Man may show.
Sorry, no fake sports going toe to toe.
We may use the name though.
That is just so you know.

For this one is called Bob.
He is one big arse slob.
Now let's all board the train.
Time to talk about the next hurricane.

Are you ready to go on and on? Another may surely dawn. And another and another and another. Better go and tell your friend's, wife's, dog's, kid's, uncle's mother. Yes, they are bad and kill and suck in every which way. But how many damn times does the news need to go on about the same damn thing on display? If no hurricanes happened the news would pass faster than my gas. Hurricane Orlin that may be called when it comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, September 27, 2018

Born A Rhyme That Way This Time!

The cat heard another really lame excuse the other day. Is there anything else you humans can say? You sure spurt them out a time or fifty. I guess you find them rather nifty.

They are great.
They are grand.
They can date.
They can stand.

They can talk.
They can win.
They can walk.
They can spin.

Their writing is tops.
Their abs are hard.
Their marketing pops.
They have an awesome yard.

They have 100 books.
They have so much more.
I give them dirty looks.
What about my shore?

I want that and that.
I want this and this.
I want to be better at that.
I want to be better at this.

I can't do it.
I can't even try.
I won't make a hit.
I can't tell a lie.

Besides, its not me.
It's all on the others.
The reason comes to be.
It stems from their mothers.

They were born that way.
I don't have their luck.
Listen to what I say.
I double passed the buck.

My logic makes no sense?
Are you that slow?
No, I'm not dense.
You just aren't in the know.

There is no reason to be torn.
I just have to sit and stare.
It's just the way we are born.
I haven't the ability to spare.

Pffffffffffffft is all the cat can say. Actually I can say much more at our bay. But then we'd be here all day. So I will just be on my way. Ever use the "they were born that way" excuse? Want me to prove it is obtuse? That guy has abs over there. He was born that way at his lair. So he was muscular when born? Damn, his mother must have had a very bad morn. Did you get that logic now? Did it suddenly go wow? Another excuse the born that way saying brings to pass. Of course I could have just be born that way to see such things with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

The Art Of More Than Fart Comes Apart!

The Art of The Sparkly Fart already came due. That is a plug for one of Pat's book in case you never knew. That is an art as well. Like the art of bs-ing to sell.

Let's sell away.
We want pay.
Comes to a head.
Put it to bed.

Be a rich banker.
The art of the wanker.
The art of the deal.
The art of the steal.

A three for one.
My, what fun.
Throw in a fart.
Quadruple the art.

Hey, it rhymes.
Used a few times.
Like I use mimes,
After a few chimes.

The art of rhyme.
The art of a mime.
Those two don't mix.
A mime can't do tricks.

At least with talking.
Defeats it with squawking.
The art of one.
Still an artsy run.

The art of the start.
The art to a heart.
Start and mend.
A heartfelt trend.

Can you feel?
May be a nasty ordeal.
You may also be dead.
So don't get it in your head.

The art of the dumb.
The art of a dumb's flapping gum.
The art of sucking their thumb.
The art of making fun of the dumb.

The art given art.
Can't find that at Wal-Mart.
But you'll find many another trend.
Much like the art of the end.

Did you know art was thrown around so much? Can anything be art that you touch? Damn, if everything is, then why even bother with the art biz? Art can't even exist by itself. Grab a rock and put it on a shelf. You can even spruce it up with some strands of grass. I'm just such an artful little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

The First To Say With This Display!

The cat has to get this out there. What? Just wait at your lair. Or wait wherever else you are. Like a store, work, or in a car. Traffic sure can suck. On that we pass the buck. Did we pass a deer? Hmm, that may not be clear.

Away we go.
High not low.
Low not high.
Either or we'll try.

Try and fail.
Fill a pail.
Try and succeed.
Do a fun deed.

Nope. Snip snip.
No gutter trip.
But if you stutter,
Go to the gutter.

In your head?
That's been said?
No, not today.
But maybe in another way.

We can't be worst.
We want to be first.
We can't be last.
So let's toss the cast.

Last and first.
Best and worst.
Worst and best.
All kinds of zest.

Now it's time.
Time for a chime.
A chime from me.
One you can't see.

Can't even hear.
Unless you say it clear.
But why would you speak?
Had to take a leak?

That would cause it.
No dribble bit by bit.
You needed in.
Hear that today at your bin?

That you may.
So let's have our say.
We've already had much though.
Pissy Blackboards reap what they sow!

Was I the first to say that? Come on, you can tell the cat. Why did that pop in? Don't ask me at my bin. It is loony after all. Bet you never heard that said at the mall. I said it first so I am the winner. Where is my chicken dinner? Are you one of those? Have to say things first while you strike a pose? Even though most things have been said before, you still act like it was magic at your shore. Sorry to say, not really, that there is more magic in the gas that comes out my mouthy little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, September 24, 2018

The Nothing Go Blind In Mankind?

Is nothing a magic word? Like abra kadabra, just not as absurd? At least the latter is fun to say. Nothing just has a meh display. But you say it a lot. And not just with an I have nothing to say plot. That we've done. But here is another nothing we have many a time heard spun.

Nothing comes and doesn't go.
It stays at each nothing show.
It comes without a show.
How? Damned if I know.

Nothing blinds the user.
That may make nothing an abuser.
Or maybe just a cheat.
Nothing sure can't delete.

The button is broken.
Can't stick in a token.
For nothing has won.
And you are just done.

Need to pay and pay.
But nothing will stay.
It will linger for a while,
Then nothing comes back in style.

The style of it.
Like this Nothing bit.
Goes around and comes.
It covers all bums.

Or maybe not.
There's a nude beach and a robot.
Neither of them may count.
Nothing sure can amount.

For I've got nothing to wear.
There are dozens of clothes right there.
If not hundreds in sight.
But nothing takes flights.

I'll have to go nude.
But that would be rude.
Oh well, I'm blind now.
I won't have a cow.

I may feel that.
Could come out rather fat.
But what do I care?
I've got nothing to wear.

Not even a towel.
Nope, can't buy a vowel.
I don't even have TP to spare.
I just have nothing to wear.

Don't you kinda roll your eyes at this? Nothing sure must have a whole other meaning and it isn't bliss. It gets thrown around with lots to say and it gets thrown around with plenty of clothes on display. Did the definition change? Maybe people find the word strange. Have you used it at your sea? Not a fan of going naked like me? I suppose you can't get away with it in front of a human mass. Oh well, nothing to wear doesn't stop my furry little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, September 23, 2018

The Search Is On For A New Dawn!

Or would it be the same dawn? Bah, don't think too much at your lawn. The dawn will make your lawn grow. Unless rain doesn't decide to show. I guess a crap shoot it is with the new dawn/lawn biz.

Time to look.
Need a new nook.
No enemies to be found.
We can avoid a hound.

Show us the cage.
Pay any wage.
We're set to go.
What? That's one's a no?

But it looks fine.
Works for the feline.
Oh, there'e mold.
Yeah, we're no longer sold.

That one is a dirt pit.
Okay, avoid that shit.
That one has neighbors from Hell.
We admit, it doesn't sound swell.

That one you know the neighbor next door.
They'll probably want you to do a chore?
Yep, avoid it like the plague.
Nope, we aren't being vague.

That one's an hour away from work.
That's so not a perk.
We'll starve if left that long.
So that one is all wrong.

That one hasn't a door.
We could go explore.
Says it will be on though.
Hmmm, we vote a hell no.

That one has bad reviews.
Sure sounds like they are bad news.
Not just one but ten.
Yep, we'll avoid that den.

That one won't take pets.
Pffft throw them in fish nets.
We'll pee on their head too.
Or maybe in their stew.

That one wants a high price?
Sorry, no dice.
Damn, maybe we won't go in the cage.
Before we go, we could die of old age.

Don't you love finding a new spot? All the obstacles, other crap, and rot? This will be move 19 for Pat, move 8 for Cassie and move 4 for the cat. By the time this runs we may already have a new welcome mat. But looking at the ads we have our doubts. Many have less ins and more outs. If Pat would rob a bank already of all its mass, then I could get my own spot for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, September 22, 2018

A What's Name Kinda Game!

The cat goes by many. I may not respond to any. I may respond to them all. I guess it depends on who's giving the call. That and maybe if I care. I can be rather rude as I lick my ass at our lair.

What's in a name?
A question not tame.
One that may grow fatter.
No former, just latter.

Last and first.
The middle the worst.
The middle the best.
Is there a test?

A name tester.
Let that fester.
What if you fail?
Time to hit the trail?

Or the, Hey You!
That works too.
You can take your pick.
From asshole to dick.

Or go more.
A wanker encore.
Maybe whelmed will fit.
Or, Hey you little shit.

Would hey be first?
You little may be the worst.
Does that make shit the best?
Would it fail the name test?

A failing notion.
Named after an ocean?
Named after a dump?
At least it comes after a hump.

Or could come before.
A dreamers encore.
Go all hippy dippy.
Could get named all trippy.

Or just Trippy.
The tester may get lippy.
Or break out some weed.
What a name indeed.

Anything can work.
Even, Hey Jerk!
It may get confusing if you bale hay.
But let's not even get into spelling, okay?

Anyone out there named, Okay? That would be weird at ones bay. But sure some weird names about too. But we just proved you've got some weird ones at your zoo. Respond to "Hey You" or "Little ass" and you just gave the tester a pass. Or maybe a fail. We aren't sure if hay you bale. Thought I'd spell that bail? Nah, don't want to go to grammar jail. But both can be used as a name. If you can say it, it can be a name claim. Wouldn't it suck to get a name that was only a grunt? Your brain it may stunt. Don't you love going on about a name pass? Oh that thoughts that pop in to my appropriately named little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, September 21, 2018

A Bubble With Trouble!

Pat is back once more with a rhyming one at our shore. Those we don't mind. They work well for my rhyming behind. He also channeled some of me and went as random as can be.


Look at that
Characters as random as the cat.
Soap, Paperball, Toothpick, Wiener, Flea, and Eight.
That sure makes a date.


And as you embrace,
We can't forget Ace.
In he runs.
Got any puns?


And look at the bubble.
Do they spell trouble?
That they may
Where did they stray?


A number in the sky.
Oh me, oh my.
Nine must be a jealous box.
Bubbles have no locks.


They came in a huddle to play in their puddle, but they found Soap already there with no room to spare. He would not let them play and enjoy their puddle on a sunny day. Now they must lift Soap's ban and come up with a plan.

Can they break Soap's hold on their puddle? Will Soap allow them to cuddle? Can Paperball save the day? Did you know a wiener wanted to play? Come and pop Soap's bubble and find out all about the puddle trouble.

Wanted to see how random I could go. It all worked out with a random show. They sure want that puddle. Too bad Soap doesn't want to cuddle. And now number 123 has come to pass. 124 will be here soon from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Another Go To For Many In View!

The I don't have time we've given a chime. That one is bull. Like the one about luck being not so full. Both are excuses more than a bit. Here's another that's full of shit.

Here we go.
Time to play.
Run to and fro,
Each and every day.

Or fro and to.
Been there as well.
Is that true?
Does it raise hell?

Shouldn't do that.
Nope, not one bit.
But chew that fat.
Have that fit.

Can't recall.
Can't remember.
So it will stall.
Can't ask a member.

Can't go and look.
That won't do.
Hook or by crook,
You have to moo.

Guess it beats baa.
Barnyard today.
Well la de da.
There you stay.

Can't take a step.
Can't even see.
Blind with no pep.
Or too busy a bee.

Busy looking at Farcebook.
That is sooo great.
Could write a book,
But that's not your fate.

Fate is to sit.
Fate is to stare.
Maybe throw another fit.
Pull out some hair.

And why is that?
Why is it fated?
Because an excuse is baited,
Which is, that's too complicated.

Do you use that one? Is it really a complicated run? Are you making a mountain out of a mole hill? Now that may fit the bill. Complicated that may be to do. But not crap the equivalent of tying your shoe. Surgery, car repair, picking the right ass wipe, they all can be complicated. Hint: 2 of 3 of those for complicated are baited. If you can't pick the 1 of 3 that came to pass. You may need to uncomplicate things like my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

In They Look For A Toy I Took!

Those intruders were trying to steal my toys. That sure brings me no joys. Yeah, joys times two. They just bring it out in me at our zoo. They aren't getting my stash. I have to hide them in a flash.




Hmm, this one is rough.
I'll do the other stuff. 
Not like they can run away with it.
They'll drop it after a hit.


Stop watching me. 
Look the other way tubby she.
I'll make you pay.
You don't get to play.


No grumpy look.
Go away from our nook.
Pat won't let me bother you.
 But go and get a new view.


I suppose that works.
Your head blocks the other jerks.
They'll never find my toys.
 I'll stop them from ruining my joys.


Cassie, avert thy ears.
Pretend it is vacuum gears.
I never knocked anything down. 
You can share if it won't make you frown.


All better now.
I sit proud with a meow.
No one will find a single toy.
I won't fall for any ploy.


 Cassie, don't let them in.
That so isn't a win.
Keep the tubby one out.
Geez, you are cut off from any trout.


Stay, you tubby cat.
Don't bring in your fat.
I'll whack you in the head.
Stay on that messy bed.


Stay like her.
You and your fur. 
I'll need another gate.
I'm not a sharing mate.


What? No toys here.
Nope, they aren't near.
I'm not playing at all.
 I just pooped out that nearby furry ball.

Ever have to hide your toys at your sea? Have intruders tried to steal them from thee? That is never a nice thing to come due. What? I'm a mean cat at our zoo? Bah, I'm nice to Cass and the old fart. Pat makes me with the last part. But two out of whatever gives me a pass. So says the math of my toy hogging little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

This Adds Two To The Goal That Came Due!

The cat is mouthier than even he thought. For we go on and on a lot. At least no on and on in super small print. Hey, there is also no tint. No matter what though, today makes 2 extra on the go. 2 extra what? You should know by now at my hut.

2 extra days.
Get out of your daze.
I cheated to rhyme.
Such a fun time.

2 extra hours.
Is that super powers?
2 extra hours to the day.
Hmm could use that at my bay.

2 extra cars.
Are you on Mars?
Who wants that?
Maybe one if a tire's flat.

2 extra cats.
Are you dingbats?
The cat won't share.
I'm mean, what do I care?

2 extra dogs.
Sorry, no brown logs.
Although Pat may not have to scoop.
One could come and eat the poop.

2 extra towers.
We'll take those over hours.
But nope, sadly not.
Only two at our plot.

2 extra books.
Plenty for looks.
Sure two more may come.
Unless we get dead, busy, slow, or dumb.

2 extra replayings.
Does this look like Al's displayings?
No remakes for us.
Blue may fuss.

2 extra guesses.
Your mind in messes?
It's easy to recall.
Look at the wall.

Down on the left.
There is no theft.
Just shows not a one has been missed.
Today 7 years without missing a day has been kissed.

Not that the cat would kiss. On those germs we'll take a miss. But our goal was only 5 years with no missing and now 7 years have come with our daily hissing. Will we ever go back to the old way at our bay? The post whenever for a display? Bah, the 6 years in a row post hasn't even hit yet. So no is a safe bet. Being a year and 13 days ahead, at least when we wrote this, in mass, sure makes it seem like we may hit 10 years without missing a day with our little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer. 

Monday, September 17, 2018

Off The Go At Our Show!

The cat will ask you today a question you've heard many say. What's going on? Don't you love that con? Two questions in one. Can you guess what is going to be spun?

What's going on?
A dusk to dawn.
Or dawn to dusk.
Maybe has a musk?

Beats little old me.
But it comes to be.
A be for you.
A be without a clue.

What's going on?
One big con.
The con of all.
A con that won't stall.

Is that ongoing?
A going on showing?
Going on ongoing.
Going you are towing.

But what if...
What if you're stiff?
What if you aren't going?
Get the con that's showing?

What's going off?
Come, don't scoff.
It may be worse.
But then wouldn't you curse?

Curse and swear.
Tell each pair.
What's going off is bad.
On is usually good at one's pad.

But off is still called on.
My, what a con.
Off the rails yet on.
Like a goose pretending to be a fawn.

Does that fly?
Nope, not in the sky.
Can yet can't.
Such a slant.

For it's going off.
Maybe has a bad cough.
But off isn't on.
Off is on's pawn.

So the cat will repeat the first question treat. What's going off? Did your head fall in a horse trough? That would be off indeed. Do you get it at your feed? When things are on they are good. So what is going on means only speak good things at your hood. What is going off is the bad. Now the distinction is had. Now if an elephant is on you and turning you into a gooey mass, then we'll say what's going on with our little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer. 

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Reach And Grab It For A Habit!

The cat has heard this a time or two, followed by a boo hoo. Some human wanted to do something at their sea, but it was too much work for it to come to be. Pfffft work? I don't think some know the meaning of the word, which they probably think is a perk.

I have a habit.
Like some lucky rabbit.
It may not be humping,
But in with it I am lumping.

Like it or lump it.
Just don't hump it.
That may get you in jail.
That sure is a big fail.

I have the habit of stopping.
That makes things a flopping.
Stop before I go.
That sucks, you know.

I'll blame that habit.
That's why I can't nab it.
My habit is all to blame.
Bad habit should be my middle name.

I have good habits too.
Regularly I use the loo.
That keeps me going.
So I can stop each showing.

But I want more.
I don't want a repeat encore.
Oh, there it is again.
My habit surfaced at my den.

It can't be beat.
I may as well retreat.
It can't be stopped.
Another thing I flopped.

I have a habit of repeating.
That is ever so fleeting.
But I do it anyway.
It is in my DNA.

It crawled right in.
There it sits not letting me win.
It refuses to stop.
A habit I can't drop.

Oh, I want to do that.
But it might go splat.
Actually it will.
My habit won't chill.

Ever blame things on a habit instead of reaching out to grab it? Pfffft is what we say. There is no habit in your DNA. You created that habit at your sea and it can be broken by thee. Then you can do what you want and make better habits at your haunt. You just have to let the better habit take form and give it time to become the norm. Then the bad habit can go the way of bad gas. You can pass it out and be on your merry way like my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, September 15, 2018

The Right To Wrong Plays Along!

Did this post go right? I guess we shall see when it comes to light. Or at least comes to light for me. Even when there is no light to see. I guess there is the sun. Hmm maybe it just went wrong a ton.

This is how it goes.
There is highs and no lows.
That is how it is.
All pop and no fizz.

At least so you're told.
At least on what your sold.
At least now in your mind.
Until you strike the great find.

Many things are dandy.
Happy as a kid with candy.
Many other things are not.
Can create quite the plot.

It didn't turn out.
You scream and shout.
What a waste.
No copy and paste.

Learned all wrong.
Sing a song.
A song not fun.
Fluckity fluck may get a run.

And so it goes.
The wrong of it glows.
What went wrong?
You played along.

Why did you fail?
Bah, hit the trail.
Who needs to know why?
The stupid salesmen, package, etc. does lie.

A brand new stream?
Go play on another team.
When you fail, you fail.
Nothing to do but wail.

Things are supposed to be sunny.
I shouldn't have to waste money.
Or just waste my time.
That thing can go suck a lime.

Now rinse and repeat.
Left in more defeat.
It lied once more.
I give up at my shore.

Do you get frustrated when things don't turn out the way you want? Do they kind of sit in your brain and taunt? Or do you see it as a new way and try again at your bay? At least that is one way of not knowing and you got something that can lead to another showing. No need to rant all day rather crass. Instead keep on keeping on like my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer. 

Friday, September 14, 2018

Time To Confess The Impress!

The cat will confess that he aims to impress. Aims to impress myself and a few. See how far we can go at our zoo. Stretch our skill. That fits the bill. But to one and all. Pffft I'd rather play with a dog's slobbery ball.

Let's impress.
A game of chess.
This takes that.
Adding that stat.

That takes this.
Nothing is amiss.
The game of impress.
More not less.

Impress the bimbo.
Go do the limbo.
Impress the drunk.
Get in a funk.

Impress the vendor.
Buy a blender.
Impress the boss.
Eat some moss.

Impress the plumber.
Pile some lumber.
Impress the owner.
Put in computer toner.

Impress the bum.
Shine up their thumb.
Impress the nearest baby.
Change a diaper? Maybe?

Impress a cat.
Hmm can't do that.
Impress a dog.
Give it a brown log.

Impress a gamer.
Beat up a hall of famer.
Impress a chimp.
Prove you're a wimp.

Impress a tree.
Take a pee.
Impress a banker.
Don't call them a wanker.

The game of chess.
A game of impress.
Impress them all.
Stand so tall.

Do you strive to impress bystanders too? Like those that don't know, maybe never will, or don't want to know you? Instead of impressing those that matter, you go all impress all like some star batter? Doing stupid things to get that impress? That can leave you in a mess. Impress those that deserve it and screw the rest. I'm sure the butcher doesn't care you passed a 2nd grade test. But then again, you may learn how to shoot the glass. That may impress Hans but not my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, September 13, 2018

Slop It Up In A Fake Cup!

Are we feeding pigs today? They eat slop, don't they at some farm bay? Beats the heck out of me. A pig we don't see. Nope. The cat isn't going to the barnyard. Although to spot a few from where we are probably isn't hard.

Pigs can fly.
Proved by this guy.
This guy who did that.
Whoops, they went splat.

This plus this equals bliss.
Nothing I did miss.
It is a proven fact.
Whoops, death kinda did react.

Driving this long is okay.
It makes for a fine day.
Everyone I asked said so.
What do you mean your insurance company said no?

I mixed this with that.
It came out anything but scat.
It was anything at all.
Shh. Forget the smell and have a ball.

Green mixes the result.
Let's go have a malt.
We'll drink and then get it.
Whoops, we lied quite a bit.

9 out of 10 agree.
We are something to see.
It was proven by those nine.
They were bribed, but that's fine.

Dr. Oz endorsed it.
The internet says it's a hit.
That's a two for one.
Shhh. Both are lies that we spun.

Okay to eat for days.
Can eat it in many ways.
At least that is the thought.
We hid the proof that your insides will rot.

Rocks are very soft.
Throw them up in a loft.
There they will stay and turn to gold.
A friend of a friend of a dog's owner was told.

29 days of it will be best.
You'll pass any test.
You will be filled with zest.
After 29 days you'll be dead and not a pest.

Ever go the sloppy science path? Did you ever suffer wrath? Ever fall for it? Like some fake news bit? Dr. Oz says so. So it has to be a high and not a low. Right? No? Damn, that's a blow. Or maybe not. We have no need to make our insides rot. So on such "science" and "fact" we'll take a pass. That is the fact of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Let's Get High On The Fly!

Hey, supposedly it will be legal up here by this time next year. But yeah, the cat isn't condoning you getting dumber in that thing between each ear. Instead we'll make one broke and another a rich bloke.

Tried and true,
Just won't do.
Efficient and effective,
Might go defective.

Works and able,
That's some fable.
Costly and best,
Passes the test.

The extra perk,
Sure does work.
Add that in.
Like a golden chin.

A little more sparkle,
Adds to the farkle.
That's a magic dust fart.
From your now sparkly part.

A loo of gold.
On that be sold.
Flushes the same.
But sure not as tame.

A car worth a million.
Bah, why not a billion?
Forever inside it will sit,
But forget that shit.

A house that's all yours.
The little folk will want tours.
Can fit in a small town.
You'll never ever frown.

An old antique thing.
It and so and so had a fling.
Can't buy them like that.
It only costs 1 million flat.

A washer that shines.
But only when the sun aligns.
Washes all the same.
But you sure won't be lame.

A tree that is really, really, really tall.
I'm talking taller than your wall.
That is the must have thing of the year.
We'll even throw in some climbing gear.

Are you one to go all out? That little extra shine needed about? Is it worth going broke for a shiny loo? Especially when the same thing a normal one does comes due? Maybe we are just picky, or think old things are icky, but pfffft to any of that. No extra shine needed by the cat. Or a house the size of a town. In taxes on that one would drown. most of the so-called high end can suck on the gas that comes out when the tail goes high from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer. 

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Hunky Dunky Goes The Flunky!

Did you know dunky was a word? Yeah, it sounds absurd. But it is indeed. You can trust us at our feed. We used it so it must be. Time we got all hunky dunky with the flunky at our sea.

The flunky gets flack.
They suffer the attack.
Used and drop dead.
A classic trope for poor Ned.

Or maybe Fred.
Maybe their name isn't even said.
Stooge #1, #2 and #3.
That is all the credit see.

For that kind of flunky,
It's all hunky dunky.
A paycheck and go.
Wait. Hold on. Whoa.

Do you work?
Some 9-5 perk?
Nope, not a perk.
But chances are, you work.

Uh oh for you.
Uh oh for Pat too.
Guess what you are without the dead?
It just has to be said.

You get bunky with the flunky.
A bunky flunky that's hunky dunky.
A flunky in work.
That isn't a perk.

Low tier flunky.
A high one that's funky.
Still someone's flunky.
That all hunky dunky?

At least there is no gun.
Also don't have to run.
Unless that is your case.
Then go flunky and embrace.

A flunky are we.
A flunky are thee.
Don't work you say?
Hmm you may get away.

Own your own business too?
Top dog in it are you?
You may escape the flunky.
Unless to the IRS you aren't all hunky dunky.

I think the flunkies on TV get paid more. Ever think of yourself as a flunky at your shore? We all are at some point it seems. Unless we get rich from passive income streams. I'd rather be a higher up flunky though. At least I'd get more dough. I guess I'll go get the singing bass. He is a flunky to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, September 10, 2018

An Interloper That's New. BAH Times Two!

The cat thought I have seen it all. I'm even flipping between third and first person at my hall. I'm doing it so fast. The cat needs to make this a thing of the past. Look! I did it once more. I need to get a really, really, really good lock for the door.


This was my day.
So nice at our bay.
Stretched with sun.
Then Pat ruined my fun.


He washed the stuff.
So I thought, tough!
I'll take it for me.
Then he let IT come to be.


No. Not these guys.
They get batted away like flies.
Those intruders know their place.
If they don't, I'll whack them in the face.


It wasn't even the mutts.
Them and their poo eating ruts.
I'll chew on their tail.
Oh how I love it when they wail.


Bah! There it is.
What is this tiny biz?
Why does it walk like me?
Cassie, make it go where I can't see.


"He's your problem now.
Don't have a cow.
Those ones don't stay or sit.
So I'm too old for that shit."


Bah! Here it comes.
It wants to be chums.
Hell no to that.
Stay away from the cat.


Hmmm it is after my balls.
Is that why it makes cat calls?
It has a very bad meow meow.
And Pat won't let me go kapow.


Look! Come closer thingy.
I only have a majiggy.
My balls went snip snip.
No ball ball after that vet trip.


I tell you no lies.
So stop with the meow meow or ball ball cries.
If not, I'll blind you with my eyes.
Are you some weird dog in disguise?

Isn't that mean of Pat? How could he do that to the cat? He let that dog wannabe, or maybe it really is a dog, after me. It eats everything it sees with glee. Maybe it is related to a mutt. Yes. Yes. For legal no one was harmed in the making of this post at my hut. I may have bit a dog's tail. What? It makes those interlopers set sail. No. No. No. A playing with it I didn't go. Nope, not one bit. Don't look at me like that where you sit. I don't protest too much. Nope, not even a touch. It was all Cass. Next interloper can bother her and not my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, September 9, 2018

An I Can See For All Of Thee!

I am going to see a lot today. See what? Stay tuned and find out at my bay. Can you stay tuned with no tuning? Hmm later on that one may pop in for a looning. That isn't a word? Bah, I can see it not being absurd.

I can see.
See for thee.
Better than thee.
I can see.

I can see you doing this.
I can see you not getting bliss.
I can see you going out.
I can see you in a drought.

I can see you not liking it.
I can see you having a fit.
I can see you going to sleep.
I can see you needing a new keep.

I can see you hating that.
I can see you falling flat.
I can see you failing away.
I can see you have a bad day.

My eyes are tired.
They may have expired.
Nope, not yet.
Nothing but net.

I can see you missing.
I can see you kissing.
I can see you hissing.
I can see you pissing.

I can see how that sounds.
I can see you looking like hounds.
I can see you getting fat.
I can see you wearing a hat.

I can see you bored.
I can see you floored.
I can see you eating.
I can see you trick or treating.

I can...can't see you doing that.
I can't see you flipping scat.
I can't see you fighting him.
I can't see you losing a limb.

I can, I can't.
Eyes on a slant.
But I can see.
See just for thee.

Don't you love how I can see? Pfffffffffffft is what it gets from me. Ever have anyone say that over and over and over again? I know one near our den. They tell you that they can see what is best for you. Like they know what will come due. When I can see that they are full of shit. Anything to add to my I can see fit? I can see I gave some sass. I can't see that ever stopping from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, September 8, 2018

A Helpful Not With This Plot!

The cat rolled his eyes and walked away. Pat may have let a finger linger or even stay. For back came a whiner from a while back. The whining sure didn't lack.

Need help with this.
Need help with that.
Life isn't bliss.
Let's chew the fat.

You told me what?
You told me this?
Don't be a nut.
It must have been a miss.

Can you repeat?
Repeat for the 100th time?
Come on. Be neat.
Repeating isn't a crime.

Need help with this.
Need help with that.
Life isn't bliss.
I can repeat the fat.

Fat to chew.
A repeat to you.
Repeat it a few.
Can't help come due?

My hole is deep.
It's oh so bad.
Stuff I can't keep.
This isn't a tad.

Been there too long.
You never told me.
It's now King Kong.
Come help at my sea.

What was that?
You said no?
You are a rude cat.
I know you know.

Share your advice.
Share with me.
Who cares if it is twice.
My time isn't free.

I'm here to hear.
Here to know.
Don't show me your rear.
I don't want to hear no.

Pfffffffffft to such whiners. They can go suck food back at diners. Maybe even choke. Ever have a returning bloke? One that whines about the same damn thing? Then they come back later with the same ring? Could have been out of it at their sea, but too dumb and whiny and up a tree. After that they get an ignoring in mass, at best, from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, September 7, 2018

Ready...Setty...Bring The Petty!

The cat made a word. I guess more like added to its word herd. Can you make a word herd? Beats me with any word. Are you mad I did that? Chances are that is a big no where you are at.

A little thing.
A loose string
Something stuck.
What the fluck.

You're out to get me.
You did it, I can see.
You sat that aside.
No? You lied!

A paper out of place.
A sign tipped case.
A little speck of dirt.
Not an ounce of hurt.

You're making work.
You are a jerk.
That is so bad.
Way more than a tad.

Ignore and go.
Sink to a new low.
A low without being.
A low only one is seeing.

You did this.
It's a miss.
You did that.
Hiss and spat.

I'm going to get you.
I know what you do.
I will hide a shoe.
You won't have a clue.

I'll move the fan.
I'll hide the trash can.
I'll blow some dust.
It is just a must.

My palms are sweaty.
But I'm not petty.
You did this to me.
I know because I can see.

Petty and sweaty.
Here's some confetti.
I'll leave it for you to clean up.
There. I knocked over your cup.

Do you find things that aren't there? Hold petty grudges at your lair? Do stupid little things to escalate the crap? I've seen it done by many a lass and chap. What is the point? Just eggs things on at ones joint. Are you petty I used setty? Should I get ready for petty? I don't think I'll worry about such a pass. The cat sure doesn't bother being a petty little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, September 6, 2018

A Party Right Comes To Light!

You humans sure go on about rights a bunch. Even when those rights are wrongs and you are out to lunch. Is that where wrongs make rights comes from? Bah, right or wrong I'll get right on it with my rhyming bum.

I have rights.
Days and nights.
Rights I do.
I've got a few.

No need to tell.
Long as hell.
Blows away a few.
I haven't a clue.

That you knew.
Maybe times two.
Two wrongs to right.
Dark to daylight.

Ask Stallone.
In a tunnel all alone.
Yeah, went there.
Right of me at my lair?

Pffft yeah it was,
Just because.
Because I say so.
Sure right, you know.

Rights it works.
Gives some perks.
Perks to jerks.
Rights in the works.

Just like that.
A rightful stat.
An addition or three.
The rights of we.

We have the right.
The right to spite.
If you say no.
Right away we'll go.

All have the right.
The right to spite.
The right to show.
Damned that no.

We have the right to come.
Whether or not we are your chum.
It is our "because we say so" right.
So "surprise" turn on the light.

Pfffffffffffffft some humans are sooooooooo dumb. Do you think you have the right to something when you aren't a chum? One said here they have the right to come to a retirement party being thrown. They have the right because they say so at the tone. Umm, even if said retiree didn't want you there? Even if you weren't invited at your lair? You have the right to go? Damn, rights really have gone to a new low. I have the right to go rob that banker. Do you think that will fly with every wanker? I think it would get a failing pass. I'll stay a jail free and whelmed little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer. 

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Over We Go With A Return In Tow!


 Over and under.
Around and through.
Lightning and thunder.
A returning view.

It leaves and it strikes.
It goes with the breeze.
Like the riding of bikes.
Like the pesky fleas.

Back we go.
Back we come.
A new yet same show.
A new yet same chum.

Glum or glee.
Anger or cheer.
Blah to weee.
Delightful to hear.

Hear you will.
Times two or three.
A return to fill.
A wavering sea.

Back and forth.
Up and down.
The hills up north.
The tiny elf town.

Around and through.
Through and around.
Told that to you.
So shouldn't astound.

But it may.
But it will.
When a return display,
Fits the bill.

Think it is done.
Much the way of summer.
Gave it's final run.
Isn't that a bummer?

So many days.
So many weeks.
Around comes the maze.
Valleys and peaks.

Ever think you are rid of something yet it comes back? Sure can do that with many a thing at many a shack. Some insecurities like to shine back through. One just has to push on at their zoo. Did it before, can do it once more. Whether or not they come back, like summer will at most every shack. Things always come back in mass. In that you can trust my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

The Excuse To Use Sure Does Amuse!

This one I've heard a time or ten and just had to go at it at my den. For it tends to come from the lazy. Did I name call? Whoopsy daisy. Does a daisy go whoopsy though? Damned if I know.

The sit back and stare.
Sometimes in a pair.
They laugh and giggle,
As their whole body gets a wiggle.

Then comes the excuse.
The one many let loose.
Some can't, but most are lazy.
Trying to hide away in the hazy.

Why eat right or work out?
The first part they shout.
I've known healthy people who died.
The second part in some variation that is spied.

And then deluded they stay.
Believing what they say.
But isn't it the truth?
Yep, that it is at one's booth.

Can do everything right and still croak.
Can just be the fate of a lass or bloke.
That is what they hold onto tight.
Reasoning that let's them feel all right.

Time to burst that bubble.
Maybe bury it in rubble.
Let's pull some stats from my ass.
I'll let it out with some gas.

What are the odds for those they use?
Let's say 1 in 100 as you peruse.
1 in 100 people who take care will still croak.
That just made some nut light up a smoke.

Now let's flip and flop.
Let some other stats drop.
What are the odds that the lazy die?
Care to give that a try?

Probably 30 in 100 or so.
Wow, not quite as low.
Now let's do a little more.
What are the odds some disease or other health issue will come ashore?

75 in 100 sounds right.
Damn, I ruined the lazy person's night.
So whether you tell that excuse to stranger or daughter,
Sorry, it doesn't hold much water.

Ever hear that excuse at your sea? The lazy or those refusing to change sure let it fly free. All they get is a pfffffffffffffft from me. Healthy doesn't guarantee a long life will come to be, but you have way better odds of living longer and being disease free. My stats aren't legit that I used for my spree. They were just there to let the lazy realize they are full of strat. So ends this sass from the cat. If you wish to do nothing, power to you, but don't give me that healthy people die too crap at our zoo. Whoops, I was supposed to end my sass. I guess I'm just a mouthy little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, September 3, 2018

Smelly Pat Gets None From The Cat!

Pat smells weird every day. At least those days where he leaves our bay. Otherwise he just smells the same old weird stench. But now there is a monkey in the wrench. Out he goes and causes my nose woes.


So you are home?
Do you want me to roam?
I can smell you from here.
No way will I come near.


You were feeding them again.
They say that is okay at many a den.
But a traitor you be.
Bad grammar from me.



And what is that?
A bad hair day cat?
Did it get into roadkill?
That hairdo can't thrill.


A hairless cat?
Where do you find that?
Chowing down on grass.
You must have upset Cass.


"Don't bring me into this.
I've no reason to hiss.
I still get brushed and fed.
You're the one with too much crap in his head."


And speaking of crap.
Look at this part of the map.
Another giant litterbox at play.
To fill that, it would take all day.


Those ears are mighty high.
What is this guy?
He can hippity hop.
Will this ever stop?


Bah! Too many burds.
The tabbies will have words.
Look at those geese.
Why can't they be fictional like meese?


And this does it.
I knew I smelled them a bit.
You were playing with mutts.
They eat things that come out butts.


Don't look at me.
I won't look at thee.
No, I'm not being rude.
What was that? Food!

Isn't Pat rude for bringing so many smells home to me? Can't he at least go jump into that sea? That may wash them off. The fish may scoff. Then he may smell of fish poo. I guess we can't win at our zoo. I am not as forgiving as Cass, but you can win me over with food for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, September 2, 2018

It Hasn't Happened In...Make It Up To Win!

The cat will let you in on a lot today. You will know a lot to come to play. You may now get the Jeopardy win. Of course I may be lying at our bin. You'll never know. Away we go.

Hasn't happened in a while.
It long ago went out of style.
There just is no cause for it.
So no need to have a fit.

It hasn't snowed in 1000 years.
That will sure get some cheers.
It hasn't been hot in 500 more.
That makes it easy to do a chore.

A cat hasn't been in in 400 plus.
That may make some fuss.
A bat left 467 years ago.
Trust me, I'm in the know.

It was 1007 years ago.
That is when it did blow.
What exactly was it?
Who needs to know that shit.

1096 years since the earth was whelmed.
Add another 5 and you get when it was helmed.
Helmed by the almighty Zeus.
Watch out for a lightning bolt in your caboose.

1050 years since it hit that price.
That is so not nice.
1050 more since it shrunk.
Bad math makes that go kerplunk.

437 years since it was made.
It didn't have any shade.
What exactly was it?
Didn't we already do that bit?

647 years since they raised that point.
That is quite the point at their joint.
What exactly is the point of it?
Don't think too much as you'll have a fit.

389 years since we hit a frog.
That sure isn't a road hog.
We'll leave that to the toad.
Hank and Blue enjoy that mode.

1/365 years since I did a post.
To that you can be sure of at my coast.
Unless you missed yesterday.
If you did, could be 184 years at your bay.

Do you pull numbers out your butt? Exaggerate a little bit at your hut? Many things we have no track of past 150 years ago. Yet, many use the 1000 years or more will blow. Let's guesstimate that this post will still be standing in 1000 years. I could cause the aliens fears. They may search for my singing bass. And all they'll find is rotten gas from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, September 1, 2018

Time For Simple Like Popping A Pimple!

You humans sure use simple a bunch. Sometimes you are really out to lunch. Not even your words come out simple as can be. Of course they are also used by me. So I guess there is that. Time for a simple chat.

A simple post.
Give it a toast.
Maybe eat roast.
Could even boast.

It's simple time.
Go bug a mime.
That isn't a crime.
So says the mime.

Simply rhyme.
Give a chime.
Make the words match.
The end of each batch.

Go with the flow.
Simple, you know.
Do you know?
A simple brain flow.

You don't know?
Now that's low.
It's simple to do.
Follow the crew.

What was that?
A simple chat?
Isn't that what we're doing?
Do we need to start mooing?

A simple life.
Man and wife.
Does this make me look fat?
Nothing simple about that.

A simple buy.
We tell no lie.
This is what it is.
Next they'll be a quiz.

A simple task.
No need to ask.
House burns down.
A simple frown.

Simply simple.
Like popping a pimple.
Whoops, won't pop.
Simple has to stop.

Isn't it only simple if you know? If you don't, simple may go out the window. Talking and walking isn't simple until you learn. Of course it is simple with many a yearly return. But not simple until you do so. So simple may not always show. I simply had to show that with this pass because I'm simply just a poking fun little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.