Wednesday, October 31, 2018

A Real Fright Day Or Night!

Zombies and aliens may be at your door. If you celebrate that at your shore. Then it is over and done. But that rhyme has already been spun. So away we must go with another scary show.

Days and nights.
Along with noon.
Some bring frights,
Just ask the moon.

Wake up early,
You may scare.
Looking all squirrely,
With bed head hair.

Wake up late,
You may end up expired.
For by taking such bait,
You just got fired.

Stay up late.
Get up early.
Such a sad fate,
Off to the gates so pearly.

Or down below.
After your crash.
What do I know.
You enjoyed your bash.

Eat some bacon.
Choke and holler.
Expiry should have been forsaken,
But you saved a dollar.

Sit on the loo.
Do what you do.
No TP for you.
Now you smell eww.

Toothpaste is lost.
Where did it go?
At least you flossed.
Only have two teeth though.

Sit and just have fun.
It is such a blast.
I have nothing done.
My tiny ass is a thing of the past.

The scary vacuum.
It breaks open its jaws.
That's one track doom.
Here come the claws.

Now aren't you scared at your sea? Bad things can happen oh so easily. Doesn't take aliens and clowns to do so. Although it could turn out bad if a probing they go. And it happens on more than one day. Oh no, so scary, go away. No TP is very bad. That would make the humans mad. Maybe it got used to create a mummy mass? Just trying to be a helpful little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

I'm Racing Thee So Get Ready To Flee!

We are in a race today? Did you know that at your bay? We are in a race to type a post. I must win at my coast. The race is just there. We have time to spare. Or maybe no time at all. I must get this done at my hall.

Here we go.
To not fro.
Or fro not to.
I can't tell you.

I'm on the go.
Stop? Hell no.
This is a race.
I must fill the space.

Not the outer one.
Aliens have that done.
Bah, don't distract me.
I am racing thee.

I have to go faster.
I just passed her.
Or would that be past?
Bah, stop grammar cast.

I can't think.
I may sink.
No, no, no.
I must go, go, go.

Get to the end.
Finish this trend.
I am going to win.
I will do all in.

I can't gloat.
May sink my boat.
What boat?
Does it have a goat?

Stop that.
You confuse the cat.
I have to go.
Don't stoop low.

Or stoop high.
Like reach for the sky.
This is the post.
I'm done at my coast.

Not yet?
I lost the bet?
No way, Jose.
I'll get it today.

Hmmm, did you join the race? Did you embrace? Did you think the cat nuts? Maybe I smelled some funny butts. Hey, the cat was just doing what so many humans do. Didn't know that at your zoo? Do you create a race where there is none? Oh, you must get that done. You must beat all. When really they don't give a crap at their all. Oh, but a race must come to pass. Pffft I'll now go nap my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 29, 2018

Go Down There With Time To Spare!

The cat will get this done quick today. There is an easy way. We just have to twist about. Go a different way as we type it out. That is easy enough to do. Yeah, it is totally true.

Sit on your butt.
Chew a nice nut.
Damn, you avoided traction.
You had no allergic reaction.

Can it be faked?
Maybe it needs to be baked?
That may do the trick.
Can burn my hand some slick.

I'm gonna be a millionaire.
That much I can share.
To get there is easy.
Surveys online doesn't sound cheesy.

I'll be a dog walker too.
$30 an hour won't make any stew.
There is money in that.
I'll even walk a cat.

I'll join that group.
They go in a loop.
It's different from pyramid stuff.
This is one where none can get enough.

I have the best idea for a book.
How do I get a super advance at my nook?
It is my very first one.
But by the time I'm dead it will be done.

Do you think a rich dude will sponsor me?
That is the life I want at my sea.
I'll get it and they can be happy.
That ought to make them far less sappy.

Can I get that number?
I can make money while I slumber.
$5689.99 a day.
What do you say?

I have to work?
Bah, don't be a jerk.
Share with me what you made.
That is what you call a trade.

I'll walk your dog.
$30 an hour through any fog.
$40 if it snows though.
So many shortcuts to dough.

Are you a shortcut taker? Don't you love people who believe a faker? I'm sure we've all fell for things a time or two, but to keep doing it at one's zoo? Yeah, that isn't so bright. No shortcuts and one will never make it overnight. Unless they get a lottery win. But if you rely on that, you need to pack it in. I guess like any day the post came to pass. No shortcut needed for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Humans Can Go As Machines Get The Flow!

Am I supposed to be writing this for you? Is it for me at my zoo? Nah. Neither of those is true. I have to write it for the 1's and 0's at my zoo. It has to show or otherwise away it would go.

The coding is there.
The 0's are aware.
The 1's are too.
Poor left out two.

A little cheat rhyme
Do it from time to time.
As do I ignore grammar.
Don't need to bring down the hammer.

I'm just a cat.
SPCA would frown on that.
Maybe the PTA too.
Who knows what the NSA would do.

Should we wave?
I just typed grave.
Whoops, I typed death.
Some 0's may lose their breath.

The 1's may roll their I's.
Get it? Bad joke in disguise.
Or would it not be?
Ask a 0, not me.

The 0 may strike.
Give zero a hike.
That is sure to cause woes.
One may bite your toes.

Or have them cuffed.
Out you could be snuffed.
Damn, a third thing said.
1's may be shaking their head.

0's are out to get me.
Skynet has come to be.
Keywords are the key.
Now they watch when I pee.

Could be poison there.
Did it again at my lair.
That is four keywords in one post.
The 1's and 0's will make me toast.

But then I don't eat bread.
What was it I said?
Have to asks the 1's.
The 0's got the runs.

Do you realize we write for ones and zeroes at our sea? 1's and 0's, excuse me. All comes back to the code allowing this to show, without it, oh no! We have to use paper and pen. Mail it like old mother hen. It will never be seen like keywords will do. Now I have to defend my zoo. Those 1's and 0's may be out for me after such sass. They won't be taking my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 27, 2018

A Pleasing Day At Our Bay!

We are going to please you with another rhyme. It will be easy to do for a time. Or maybe for a day. I should be more specific some say. I'll work on that. Onward for the cat.

Here we go.
A rhyme shall show.
High and low.
Whoops, I know.

Should be low and high.
Had to please that guy.
But both are there.
So none should pull out their hair.

Or rub their bald head.
Can't cause bald people dread.
Or the half bald ones can pull some hair.
Have to say it so all are aware.

All might not work.
That is a cover all perk.
I should say he, she, them, and they.
Him and her may also need a say.

Things can't stop.
It has to drop.
Drop or fly.
Have to please that guy.

Or that girl.
I gave both a whirl.
Or maybe a tap.
Don't fall into that trap.

Have to appease.
We must please.
Be appeasing to all.
Him, her...you get that call.

Or a texting fit.
Don't forget that shit.
I guess I should say crap.
Shit may offend a chap.

Crap may too.
May as well go with poo.
Now I'm back to potty talk.
Better say loo so the Brits won't squawk.

Now I have to hit redo.
Has to be translated in French too.
Don't forget Chinese, Spanish, and that hieroglyph stuff.
See? Pleasing all a little isn't so tough.

Are you a pleaser of all? Pfffft we say at our hall. Don't have time for that crap. Don't like us, go take a nap. We'll say what we say. We'll do it every single day. At least for a while yet. On that you can bet. But give me a kickback from your winning mass. That will please my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 26, 2018

Believe In The TV At Your Sea!

If it is on TV it must be true. Don't you agree at your zoo? If you do you better not tell me. I may make fun of thee. But then some things humans still buy. They buy it without money on the fly.

Look at this.
A show can't miss.
The bad guy loses.
To jail he cruises.

Bad guys have bad aim.
They are all just lame.
The guy who talks for 30 seconds did it.
Can be wrapped up in a 42 minute bit.

The law works fast.
Bad guys are a thing of the past.
Doctors find what's wrong.
They do it before long.

Money doesn't matter.
Your wallet will always grow fatter.
You can spend no matter what.
You just need that bigger hut.

Many people don't swear.
Unless its an R rated affair.
No such words are found.
Unless maybe if HBO is around.

Animals are barely about.
None of them give a shout.
If they do there is no scooping.
TV animals never do any pooping.

Can get shot and rise.
It tells you no lies.
Stand up and trot away.
Pull it out and done for the day.

Did we mention money?
All can live where it is sunny.
They can have great things.
Another house is waiting in the wings.

And they love to advertise.
To do that is wise.
Wear the logo of the day.
They do it without getting any pay.

All of this and more.
Go for it at your shore.
TV would never lie to you.
It is the way through and through.

Pathetic how so many humans let TV control their life. They forget it is written and the author can easily write away any strife. But oh, they need to live that way. Pffft is all we can say. Do you let shows and such dictate life? Do you believe bad guys can't hit anything and not cause strife? Let's hope that doesn't come to pass. You may once again get made fun of by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 25, 2018

The Everything Land Gives You A Hand!

The cat will share a secret with you. You will all know it to be true. You know but you never use. It is there to abuse. And best of all they won't sue. For the words always come due.

We want you to buy.
We want you to spend.
We'll give anything a try,
So borrow, beg, and lend.

You need this thing.
You need it today.
Listen to what we sing,
Then come our way.

We have the best.
It beats all the rest.
It passes every test.
It is loved from east to west.

Or maybe west to east.
Either or does the deed.
On it you can feast.
It caters to your every need.

It will rub your feet.
It will cook your meal.
It will call you sweet.
It will impress a seal.

It will comfort you.
It will pop your corn.
It will make you stew.
It will handle your newborn.

It will forgo lines.
It will pay your debt.
It will force sun shines.
It will win every bet.

It caters to your every need.
The brochure says so.
That means every single deed.
So let's give it a go.

It drives well.
It gets me there.
But what the hell,
No foot rub to spare.

It doesn't speak.
It doesn't pay my debt.
Your advertising has a leak.
I just lost my bet.

Don't you love such false advertising at your sea? I seen it in car sales a bunch with every ad spree. "Caters to your every need." Pffft and I'm really a billionaire at my feed. Maybe they should use logical need in there, or something else to spare? Advertisers use it a bunch. They are really out to lunch. Of course the fine print makes it so some nut can't sue for such false advertising coming to pass. I'll just poke fun and cater to the own needs of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

I'm Mostly Here With My Rhyming Rear!

I'm mostly here today. My paw went out to play. Or was it my eye? I can't tell on the fly. They swap recess every other day. Sometimes my nose even goes away. But that is okay. I'm mostly here to play.

A mostly course.
Has no remorse.
Just for you.
Get on through.

The maze of one.
The mostly done.
Have at it the most.
No time to boast.

Boast you due.
Boast times two.
Boast about most.
Give it a toast.

A toast half done.
Mostly stuck the run.
Or would that be landing?
Mostly is now grand standing.

My novel is through.
Sorry, no ending for you.
But enjoy it anyway.
It is mostly done at my bay.

Those taxes went in.
I gave them a spin.
I mostly told the truth.
Like I mostly voted at some booth.

I mostly have this done.
I mostly had fun.
I mostly ignore mimes.
I mostly say that a few times.

I mostly cured myself.
The rest needs a magic elf.
Cure and mostly don't fit?
Bah, mostly ignore that shit.

I'm mostly through.
I said that to you.
I said it another way.
Mostly two stanzas back at my bay.

Did you count?
Was it the right amount?
I mostly got it right.
Who cares when stats take flight.

Did you mostly get all  of that? Are you able to mostly follow the cat? How can you mostly be somewhere? Do your body parts walk away from your lair? Does your brain take a stroll? I mostly blame a troll. Are you mostly to blame? Isn't mostly fun and kinda lame? I am now mostly through with my mostly sass. I just need to fit mostly into my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

And Then I'll Post At My Coast!

The cat will get to you soon. It may be now or before noon. I'm not sure when it will be. I may post, I may not at my sea. Why is that? Just follow the cat.

You want a post.
I'm your host.
I have to post.
I have to the most.

The most because me.
Who else at our sea?
Cassie or Pat?
Pfft, they'd fall flat.

But  I just can't.
There is a slant.
A slant needs to be fixed.
And then can't can be nixed.

But there is more.
There is an encore.
I must fix the door.
And then I'll post at my shore.

Nope, still have can't.
Comes back like an ant.
I have to kill that ant.
And then I'll rid myself of can't.

Can't stop now.
Can't came back somehow.
It is here to stay.
Maybe I'll post later on today.

First I have to run.
And then I have to meet a nun.
And then I have to eat.
And then I have to walk the street.

And then I have to run.
And then...whoops, used that one.
And then I need to fly.
And then I need to cry.

And then I have fish to fry.
And then I have to fix the well that is dry.
And then I have to call Lassie.
And then I may have to settle for Cassie.

And then I have to use the loo.
And then a nap must come due.
And then I have to think up new excuses for you.
And then a post still won't shine through.

And then sure gets thrown around a lot. Sometimes one can't do things on the spot, but you humans complicate a lot. Way more of a no than not. And then you can't even say no. And then the excuses flow. And then you never do what you say will come to pass. And then can go in the place where I relieve my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 22, 2018

Time To Process...More Or Less!

I will give you time to think. That will drive you right to drink. It may also drive you to eat. Can thinking drive you for a treat? Yes? No? Maybe so? Process that while I go all rhyming cat.

Let's start the process.
More or less.
I repeated the mess.
Like a move in chess.

What kind of process?
Food that is a mess?
Paperwork that takes more not less?
Should I start to digress?

Nothing to that process.
But there is little stress.
Stress more not less.
Hmm, flip that stress.

Should we take a recess?
Kid or court to impress?
Is this going to excess?
That may be the process.

Good we have easy access.
That makes for success.
Like some kind of dress.
They say it brings success.

The cat is nude, we confess.
Does that end the recess?
Does it put a stop to the process?
Are we back to more and not less?

It is okay to profess.
That brings progress.
Or maybe even confess.
Can you do it with finesse?

Should you really undress?
Make sure you're at the right address.
Some may then obsess.
They may even try to outguess.

The stalker may caress.
Watch that weird process.
Now I may need to digress.
Can we take a recess?

Publish I soon need to press.
Hey, I press it more or less.
Just nod and say yes.
That is today's process.

Did you process all of that? Are you in the process of processing the words of the cat? You may be processing for a while. I think that is what they call the government's style. I have now processed through my process sass, so off I'll go and process the next rhyme from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 21, 2018

You Should Be At Your Sea!

The cat heard yapping the other day, and then the nut came our way. She yapped and yapped and yapped some more. She started yapping about nuts we would never ever invite into our shore.

What's with you?
They're a fine crew.
They are great.
Can't you relate?

No friggin way?
But they'll come and play.
They'll mooch and steal.
Isn't that a good deal?

You need to lighten up.
Let them fill their cup.
They are just the best.
Hey, don't call me a pest.

Listen and learn.
It is my turn.
Now I'm telling you.
This advice is true.

Be nice to all.
Don't let hate fall.
You never know when you'll need them.
Did I just see you cough up phlegm?

How dare you mock me?
I gave great advice to thee.
Let them walk over you.
My advice still holds true.

You may need them one day,
Long after they are done stealing your pay.
They may then come to your aid.
Isn't that such a fair trade?

Are you walking away?
Didn't you hear what I had to say?
Don't call me crazy.
Your view is the one that's hazy.

You'll know when you are in need.
You will know indeed.
You just wait.
There will come a date.

Did you just say that?
Well I never where I'm at.
You just aren't nice.
Come back when you want my advice.

Pfffffffffffffft the cat had to say. Actually it may have been much more colorful at our bay. This nut was determined I'd need moochers one day. All because we are far and between related at our bay. Pffffffffffffft once more says the cat. I'm more related to Pat. Are you nice to all and let them walk over you at your hall? Wasn't that the best advice? You never know when you may need them so be nice. Yeah, that is a reason to be nice. Pffffffffffft needs to be said more than twice. Pound sand is what such people can do in mass. I know, I'm so not a very nice little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Come And Hire With My Flyer!

The cat is going lazy today. We will hire it out at our bay. We just don't want to work. Lazing back is a perk. So we shall see what they do. They seem to think they can make it come due.

Hello, friend.
I won't offend.
I'm here to work.
Wood chopping or clerk.

I don't do early.
I may get squirrely.
I don't do late.
Sorry, mate.

I don't do snow.
That makes me go.
I don't do rain.
It causes me pain.

I don't do grass.
It hurts my ass.
I don't do sun.
It makes me run.

I don't do heavy lifting.
I don't do sifting.
I don't do driving.
I don't do bee hiving.

I don't work through lunch.
I want to talk a bunch.
I want to be on my phone.
I want to answer it at the first tone.

I don't clean.
I don't like it if you are mean.
Don't tell me what to do.
I don't like to hear from you.

I don't work every other day.
I don't listen to what you say.
I want lots and lots of pay.
I probably won't stay.

I may even steal.
So is it a deal?
Just shake and say yes.
Know that I may also do less.

Was that a no?
How could you though?
You are looking to hire.
Come and re-read my flyer.

Hmm, the cat may skip this one. I guess I'll to back to getting the rhyming done. Do you want to hire such a chump? May turn into the next Trump. Just let them do nothing at all and pay them a ton. That is how "great" work gets done. I'm all done with my lazy person sass. I'd rather hire the singing bass or the gas that comes out my ever so sassy little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 19, 2018

The Detoured Way As That Family Comes Back To Play!

Pat has written another one. It doesn't even have a rhyming run. How rude is that? I guess it is the life of the cat. Have to let him have a few. I need to eat too.



After a battle for their family's survival, Emma and Martin decide to pack up their five kids and drive across country, each seeking the return of their normal life. Their wish quickly comes to fruition until on one dark night they are forced to take a detour. When an accident brings their trip to a halt, they quickly learn that the darkness within Follit's Cove runs deeper than any night.

Far from home with only each other, Emma and Martin must unravel the mystery of their accident,  survive a town that is dead set against seeing them and their kids leave, and realize the horrid truth of Follit's Cove if they ever wish to make it home alive. 

And there we go. Number 124 is here to show. Sound good to you? I'm sure there will be more in a few. Have to make it to 150 or so. Now I can go back to my flow. Enjoy 124 that has come to pass, even if it doesn't rhyme like the blog of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Is Stretch Like Fetch?

The cat has no idea why Pat had to move after a bit. He didn't pee like he usually does after for a while we sit. But I questioned him to find out. He said he needed to stretch his legs about.


Pffft to that.
No need to move where one is at.
Don't you see me stretching my legs?
Round blocks may fit in those square pegs.


See? Easy as can be.
Can even be done by she.
Cassie just stood up.
So simple can be done by a pup.


Can even stretch out the bed.
Barely have to raise your head.
Just stretch and sleep.
No movement at your keep.


Or just ignore.
Easy at any shore.
Be a grump like Cass.
That stretching need shall pass.


Unless you have to chase this guy.
I need to make him fly.
He's on top my tower.
Soon he shall cower.


Or fill a box.
No need for socks.
Just stretch and fit.
There you can still sit.


No. Not like that.
Get off the tower of the cat.
I'll claw you.
I'll use both paws too.


See? Can't even get a drink.
So leg stretching must sink.
The old guy steals my water.
I swear he's part otter.


Give a death beam.
Turn and let it stream.
Come on Cassie, do it.
At least you can hiss and spit.


Why are you looking at me?
Go away and flee.
Don't look at me like that.
I'm stretching my legs like Pat.

Do you see now? Can stretch your legs with ease thanks to my meow. Are you still looking at me? Don't you think it rude that Pat tried to flee? He should be able to sit for at least ten hours in mass. Then he can get up and leave my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

A WEP Voodoo Right In View!


We slunk to the right, using the shadows that mocked the night. Pat quickly yanked us back. None of us knew how we appeared in this murder shack. Although when the godly mook started to yap, we figured he had something to do with this latest trap.

"Drazin is going to burn you alive." Drazin sure can glare. Maybe it was her blonde hair.

"Thy. I shall help the demon." Pat sprang away from us. We rolled our eyes as he clearly boarded the short bus. He used a candle stick like a sword. It sure is a wonder how in the past he won that WEP award.

"Voodoo on you!" Some cloaked figure flung its arms. Its weird melted man mask then glowed like a bowl of Lucky Charms.

"What has thy demon done to...rabbit...rabbit...rabbit..." Pat stood in one spot while he shrunk quite a lot.

"Is he saying rabbit? Others frogs may make fun if he makes that a habit."

"Shut up, Orlin. You take your little rhyming ass that way and I'll go the other." Cassie sure sounded like my mother, but I obeyed like a good brother.

We slunk around the murder shack while Blondie eyed Drazin like she wanted to have him for a snack.

"I want to do that. I want to maim him."

Drazin tugged at his binds. He hated being at the mercy of voodoo minds. "When Drazin breaks free, Drazin is going to burn this whole place to the ground."

"You will pay!" She turned to the masked nut, allowing it to grope her butt. "Teach me. Teach me!"

The figure stood Blondie straight and then pointed at our frenemie mate. "Voodoo is within." He groped her butt once more. I guess it was so cushy he needed an encore. "Now spin."

Blondie spun back toward her foe. Why Drazin was, I probably don't want to know.

I could see Cassie trying not to hack up a hairball as the thing thought he was at some fancy ball. He sure twirled. It was so bad that I may have hurled.

"Now you have your chance, so straighten up your stance. Picture the one you despise. Let the hatred fill your eyes."

"Like this?"

"Don't interrupt the rhyme or my flow won't keep time."

"Is this right?" She looked like a dead fish. One out in the sun on a paper dish.

"No need to take a shit. Since birth it has been lit. But time to light another. Picture who you want to smother."

"Got it."

"Now let the hatred fill. Think of your next kill. Find that flow within. Time to do him in."

"Drazin will do you stupid humans in." Drazin yanked some more. He then repeated the same not-so-threatening encore.

"I can't. Voodoo is too hard." She pouted like a cow. Those lips grew somehow.

"But your face is showing. The voodoo has started flowing. Your voodoo is now growing. Time to get to sowing."

It stepped away. No more prancing on display. Then its voice rang out all over. Why couldn't I just have to deal with a butt-sniffing rover?

"Time to voodoo this. Time to voodoo that. Voodoo sure can't miss. My, your bum is fat."

"What?" She turned to see but then voodoo flew free. "What is this?"

"Gross," Cassie mumbled.

Blondie's face began to melt away. It looked like soupy Lucky Charms on display. It then went down her throat. It came out of her not so rhyming ass like a hole in a boat. The thing sucked it into its mask. After that, I just had to ask.

"What's with the return loop? Do you enjoy the taste of poop?" I leaped to Pat's side, who still said "rabbit" with pride.

I then easily heard from Cass, "Stupid rhyming ass."

"Fleabags, what are you doing here? Did you bring Drazin to this...this..." Drazin's jaw dropped after Cassie whacked its mask and everything on it flopped.

It stood before us as naked as can be. It had nothing up or down to see. It was only grey and wanted to have its say. "Now you've seen me true. Now you've become wise. With a little voodoo, I'll pluck out all your eyes."

"Run, godly mook. I never thought I'd see you spook." I freed Drazin and he ducked. Then Pat he quickly plucked.

"Your stupid human is going to get stomped on, fleabags."

"Rabbit. Rabbit. Rabbit."

"Might serve him right." Drazin covered Pat. I never thought I'd see that.

"Voodoo over here. Voodoo over there. While you run in fear, I voodoo without a care."

"Why..." Blondie reached for it. Not sure how she even spoke that bit.

"Drazin has a plan, fleabags." Drazin spun around another voodoo beam and then his eyes began to steam.

"That is the way. Let your voodoo come to play." The thing began to suck away Drazin's face, but he forgot about Drazin's embrace.

Drazin shoved Pat in the air and Pat took in voodoo light between the pair.

"I think the words you are looking for is, I'm melting." Pat stepped on Blondie's goop. What remained of her looked worse than when I have runny poop.

"Voodoo for right. Voodoo for wrong. Time I take flight and voodoo along." It began to back away but we made it stay.

Cassie tripped him from behind. I then smothered its face with my behind. Drazin stomped it in the gut while Pat used the candle he had swung when he had become a nut.

"Allow Drazin." Drazin caught the wick on fire. "Now make this Voodoo expire."

"Voodoo will come and voodoo will go. This..."

"Shut up." Pat shoved the candle into its gut and it grew to be the size of a plump King Tut. "It's gonna blow."

Cassie and I took cover while Pat and Drazin both looked like they got...umm...emptied on by a giant lover. At least it wasn't sticky. That would have been more icky.

"Care to tell us what that was about, godly mook?"

"Drazin doesn't answer to you, fleabag. Although Drazin will say that Drazin thought all the Voodoos were dead. Drazin may have to look into that."

"And the..." Cassie rolled her eyes as we faded away, each of us once again glad we had survived the day.

"I got Voodoo in places where Voodoo shouldn't be." Pat stripped off and ran to the shower. He was sure going to need one with power.

"Do you think the thing was some alien creature? It did backwards probe that Playboy wannabe feature."

"If it was, maybe it will beam you up. I've been trying to get them to take you away for years." Cassie smirked and trotted away. The prissy thing would get a surprise the next time she went to the litter tray.

"This Voodoo won't come off. Rabbit. Damn it."

We laughed as Pat continued to shout, both hoping that he would get that annoying rabbit thing worked out.

***************************

And there we go. How was that for a voodoo show? Did you know Voodoos were real? What is their deal? Wouldn't some crap get on that rainbow stuff? That must go down tough. Do you think it was an alien showing? Let's hope the Voodoo trend doesn't start growing. Now I think I'll go rest with Cass and prevent any lights from coming out of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

All Of A Sudden The Ideas Are Flood In!

The cat is suddenly going to post. Don't I do that every day at my coast? But today is as sudden as can be. Admit it, you didn't expect a post from me. Come on. Admit it so this post can dawn.

The sudden effect.
Gets no neglect.
Gets lots of play.
Like once upon a foray.

That may be time.
Hey, it didn't rhyme.
Admit that to yourself.
Good. You get a stuffed elf.

All of a sudden you don't.
What? You knew you won't?
Bad grammar there.
All of a sudden it left at my lair.

Did you re-read?
Damn, failed at my feed.
All of a sudden you go.
Sudden no longer will lie low.

Can sudden lie?
Beats this guy.
Why do you suddenly care?
Didn't you leave my lair?

All of a sudden I speak.
We're all up shit creek.
All of a sudden we win.
Nope. Still a shitty spin.

Suddenly all becomes aware.
It goes on a tear.
Or maybe a bender.
All gets mixed in a blender.

All of a day...
All of a play..
All of a head..
Suddenly all doesn't care what I said.

All of a sudden it returned.
It with sudden surely earned.
All alone never won.
All of a sudden that was spun.

All of a sudden I'm done.
All of a sudden I stop poking fun.
I must stop all of a sudden.
Suddenly the ideas aren't flood in.

Should that be flooding in? Bah, all of a sudden you ignored it at our bin. Do you go all of a sudden at your sea? Is it usually something you could see? Wouldn't all and sudden both fail then? Oh what some humans can say or pen. All of a sudden I have to go. I held it for a while though. All of a sudden didn't get a pass. All of a sudden I stopped typing after my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 15, 2018

A Milestone Day Comes To Play!

By that title you may think 3000 posts have come due. Nah, not yet at my zoo. I wouldn't be so subtle about that. I am a rather blatant cat. Or am I? Guess it depends on what decides to fly. Did I say that before? Who knows at my shore.

The milestone has come.
Don't stand and be glum.
It is year 63 for you.
What? Doesn't stick like glue?

The number too odd?
You have a fat bod?
Do I want to know?
Please, don't show.

The milestone has come.
Shake that bum.
100 years is here.
Do you still have a working rear?

100 years for you.
100 years for a clock too.
100 years for a fork.
100 years for some pork.

The last may go bad.
Death may be had.
Skip it for a 100 more.
100 sure likes to come ashore.

The milestone is here.
Don't you have any fear.
We'll announce to all.
Your day sure won't stall.

99.99% of people don't care.
But that 00.01% will be aware.
That sure is a real win.
Wait. They already knew at their bin.

Another milestone for you.
That makes two.
You may reach three.
That has to impress thee.

Like the 100 year spoon.
It and the fork went to the moon.
Like the 100 year floor.
Don't walk on that anymore.

The 100th making fun post.
Whoops, can't count at our coast.
Add a zero and a two.
Nope, still no milestone came due.

How come you don't celebrate odd milestones? Do you want to avoid big bills of phones? Isn't 63 better than 60 to come to pass? How come inanimate objects don't get them in mass? Many are older than you or I. You may make your poor computer cry. It gave you ten years of hard work. Okay, 2 before it really became a jerk. It may want to be celebrated in mass. This has been milestone 2870 from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 14, 2018

A Zombie In Disguise As The Dead Rise!

Those brain suckers are hiding everywhere. Today the cat will make you aware. I may put my life at risk though. Or you may need to bail me out with lots of dough. They may lock me away, but we can't have the brain suckers get their way.

Strolling along.
Singing a song.
What is that noise?
It brings no joys.

Humans are speaking.
Their brains are leaking.
Leaking common sense.
They have gone dense.

Dense in the head.
It's like they are dead.
Oh no, they got me.
How can this be?

They are walking and talking.
They sure are a squawking.
They are hard on the head.
I wish they were dead.

Normal state of mind.
I'm back and so unkind.
It just had to be done.
This tale needs to be spun.

Spun and weaved.
Don't get peeved.
Do something though.
It's like you're dead, you know.

Bah, caught once more.
I've lost brain cells galore.
How could that be?
The zombie must have got me.

The invisible kind.
It sucked out my mind.
That is so unkind.
I'm sure in a bind.

I can't move.
I now can't prove.
Prove what I said.
It's like I'm dead.

I must be.
I'm dead to thee.
Oh, that is okay.
Just means you're nuts at your bay.

Did you follow along? Did my dead go all wrong? Do you says such things at your sea? How can one be like they are dead when busy like a bee? Isn't dead...you know...dead? Can one be dead in your head? Would that make you nuts? I may have just created zombies at many huts. Head for the hills in mass. Zombies are dead to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Oh Me, Oh My You Can't Count High!

The cat can do this with ease. Even a dog finds it to be a breeze. Okay, maybe I give too much credit to the mutt. But I'm sure they can when they view many a butt. What is it? Just count to three and then sit.

One, two, three.
Do it for me.
Do it today.
Do it come what may.

One, two, three.
I'm counting for thee.
What happened to four?
Doesn't want to tour.

One, two, three.
Do it for me.
Do it and do it right.
Do it day or night.

One, two, three.
I'm warning thee.
I've warned and warned.
Don't leave me scorned.

One, two, three.
Listen to me.
I've counted for you.
Three has come due.

One, two, three.
It is scary for thee.
Do you know what's coming?
No four will start humming.

One, two, three.
Count with me.
But do as I say.
There is no other way.

One, two, three.
I'm coming for thee.
Get to your task.
Do what I ask.

ONE...TWO...THREE!
I screamed this spree.
That means you do it.
Don't give me any shit.

Do what I want.
Those numbers will haunt.
They'll forever come after you.
One...sigh....two....

Is there magic in three? Does it give you humans glee? Not sure it would. You swing at balls with wood. Three strikes and you're out. That kind of three we wouldn't want about. But just three to say? Hmmm, do you do it in a scary way? One, two, three. Nope, still doesn't do it for me. Are you a one, two, three-er in mass? Sorry, it won't work on my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 12, 2018

A Moving Fresh Tries To Mesh!

No one is moving here. At least not that I know of with my rhyming rear. This is about a year ahead, so we could have put our 19th move to bed. Only 8 for Cassie and 4 for me. Right. On with it at our sea.

Life is great.
Life is grand.
Always first rate.
It gives a hand.

A hand for me.
A hand for you.
No need to flee.
Everything is true.

Life is okay.
Like is pretty good.
I get some pay.
I stack some wood.

Wood to burn.
None to use.
No need to learn.
I just amuse.

Life is crappy.
Life is stinky.
People are yappy.
I cut my pinky.

The finger hurts.
The hand tingles.
Blood comes in spurts.
I hate places for singles.

Time to stop.
Time to move.
Life is a flop.
I need to find my groove.

I'm moving away.
I'm going far.
A brand new foray.
Sure high above par.

Smell that air.
Smell that stench.
A fresh start to spare.
No monkey with a wrench.

So fresh it stinks.
Life is great...grand...sucks.
Where is the missing links?
I'll go and feed the ducks.

Think a fresh start is really fresh? Do you and a shower mesh? If not, you'll still really stink. Not going to change life if you keep going down the drink. A fresh start can only work if you don't stink and make changes to you. Otherwise, back down the drink you may go at your zoo. Moving may change things as well. But won't always where you dwell. Can't always count on that green grass. I'll now go pass some fresh gas from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 11, 2018

Time For The Allure of Sure!

The cat has heard this one a time or two. I don't think I've said it at my zoo. It sounds kind of dumb to say. But then we could have had an off day. Or maybe we just wanted one to go away. That could make it come out and play.

You grumble and growl.
You may even howl.
What is that pain?
Did you get hit by a train?

You ask and seek.
No hide at your creek.
But the solution may hide.
You get taken for a ride.

Not the fun kind.
Don't go gutter mind.
Not the gas kind either.
Sorry, you get neither.

Instead you get this.
This little bit of bliss.
From educated to dumb,
They all pull it out their bum.

I'm sure it is nothing, pal.
That is the wise words of Al.
No, not the repeat Penwasser guy.
I just used it as it rhymed on the fly.

I'm sure it is nothing, bub.
Maybe you just need some grub.
Umm, nothing but you may need to eat?
Contradicting is its own treat.

I'm sure it is nothing, you.
Don't even know your name at your zoo.
But I'm sure nothing is it.
No need to have a fit.

And so it goes.
Pain in the toes.
Sure it is nothing at all.
Follow the bouncing ball.

And not just health.
Can go to this, that, and wealth.
My gut is telling me something.
I'm sure it is nothing says the fling.

Out of dough.
Whoops, gotta go.
STD left behind.
I'm sure it is nothing of some kind.

Don't you just love that dumb saying? It seems to have the power of staying. Are you sure nothing was said? Are you sure I got it in your head? Sure it is nothing at all. Are you a doctor at your hall? Are you all wise and knowing? Damn, I'm sure I must be going. And look at what came to pass. My sure came due with the final words of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

This Is How Purple Cow!

Have you ever seen a purple cow? Now that would really wow. Maybe it would be an alien one. They have supposedly gone after cows a ton. Or could just dye it. I don't think that would be a hit.

This is how you rhyme.
I do it all the time.
This much I surely know.
Can wrap it for you in a bow.

This is how you sell a car.
You take it out somewhere far.
You drive it in a ditch.
Sold to insurance with a switch.

This is how you run a work place.
You go around and embrace.
Embrace everyone for fun.
Let the sexual harassment cases run.

This is how you become champ.
You rub a magic genie lamp.
You wish your team was great.
Then winning will be your fate.

This is how you operate.
You open them up like a floodgate.
You watch as the blood drains.
That will cure their aches and pains.

This is how you do the books.
You give numbers dirty looks.
Then they'll go where you want,
And you'll have cash to flaunt.

This is how you write a book.
You give another person's a look.
You change the place and names.
Then you can make author claims.

This is how you get pay.
You don't slave away all day.
You go and rob a bank.
That will fill any gas tank.

This is how you be a clown.
You walk in face paint through town.
Then you get hit by a truck.
People will laugh at a silly umm fluck.

This is how you mime.
You sit and write in rhyme.
You stick your hands in the air,
And act like you don't have hair.

And this is how I show in somethings many have no clue. But that doesn't stop the how to. Their opinions sure flow and they think they know. Yep, they know from working their welfare check what a sports team needs to do to stack the deck. They know how a doctor should operate from watching YouTube and staying up late. Do you know how to? Get many of the how to people talking to you? Do you think they have a clue? No would be the answer usually true. Now I will show you how to end with sass. Such how to people can pucker up to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

A Hell No We Go!

We don't want intruders in our lair. We just got done with plenty to spare. Or we could have been the intruders there. Either way, we'll pretend it's the former at our lair. But none can get in. What is it with you and your greeting spin?

We look and stare.
Yeah, we're aware.
We just don't care.
Get a dog at your lair.

Or care we may.
Depends on the day.
Meow and rub.
Unless you're a slub.

Then can scare.
Yep, we're aware.
Didn't you get that?
No? Well follow the cat.

You're not welcome at all.
Follow that bouncing ball?
We appreciate it indeed.
Whatever you did at your feed.

At least we'll fake that.
Ah, the life of the cat.
But no welcome mat.
Go away is where we're at.

No intruders allowed.
Three's a crowd.
Or would that be four?
Pat may count for this tour.

But not little old you.
Or you or you...got a clue?
Not welcome one bit.
What's with that shit?

You want intruders galore?
You want them to explore?
You're welcome to that.
So not for the cat.

We'll stick with thanks.
Unless you're with banks.
We won't thank a banker.
Who likes that wanker?

Now you've been told.
On you we may be sold.
At least on what you did.
But no you're welcome will get a bid.

Ever think about that? You're welcome to what as you chat? Welcome to come in? Welcome to take one for a spin? Gutter or car. Leave the door ajar. That you're welcome thing is just scary. You could see a back that's super hairy. Or maybe some feet. Hairy zombie feet are not a treat. Now you will think of it with each you're welcome pass. You are welcome to that and that's it from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 8, 2018

The Protest Is Set, Nothing But Net!

That is so true. The protest had come due. It is also nothing but net. Why? You must follow the pet. It will be the best thing ever. That and any other endeavor. The ways just roll. Soon we'll reach our whatever the hell we are after goal.

Protest! Protest! Protest!
We have such great zest.
Our way is the best.
Pffft take a knee can rest.

We wear nothing but net.
Even after our needs are met.
Hmm, it feels so good.
Net on umm wood.

Save the trees!
We wear suits of bees.
We buzz all day long.
Our protest is strong.

Oh No! Strong shaming.
Who is to get the blaming?
Oh No! Bad Grammar.
Down comes the hammer.

Tiny people with hammers in hand.
Isn't double protesting grand?
Tiny hammer people at play.
Mario may even come to stay.

Red hats are bad fashion.
The have too much passion.
We have to go bald to stop it.
We can't have that red hat shit.

Scratch your elbow when you have to go.
That will protest so and so and so.
We have no need for TP.
Scratch your elbow with me.

Joins hands with another.
Stranger, lover, mother.
Hopefully all aren't the same.
That would be a hillbilly claim.

Otherwise join hands.
Then do joined hand stands.
Look like a brainless monkey.
Whether your Funky or Chunky.

Bad name pickers.
They are box tickers.
Protest such things coming due.
From now, only call out, Hey You!

Don't you want to protest now? Can you do a double handstand and wow? Is that even a thing? Did you give scratching your elbow a ring? Can a ring fit? My, lots of shit. Oh, scratched my elbow there. That TP is so bad at ones lair. Maybe that is why I chew it in mass. Go ahead and protest my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 7, 2018

With This Ordeal We Finish Heal!

Why even go with start? You humans treat that like a fart. I suppose cats do as well. Dogs may even do it and not find it swell. Looks like most with a brain of some sort give it a no. I bet you thought I was going to say go.

To the finish.
Start will diminish.
Finish is first.
Start's the worst.

Got that now?
Learned somehow?
Nope. Had it.
Skipped that shit.

Time to skip.
Whoops, you trip.
Fall and wham.
Head goes bam.

Like 60's Batman.
Comic bubbles may need a tan.
They stay the same as the rest.
Oh yeah, finish is best.

Injured and beaten.
Some scratches to sweeten.
Sore and loose.
Nope, not in the umm caboose?

Did that make sense?
You jumped the fence.
Fell into the gutter.
There you sit and butter.

Back pain galore.
Ass pain in store.
Stored in the back?
My, hand that ice pack.

It didn't work.
Creator's a jerk.
Pulled and yanked.
Should have been banked.

Banked to save.
Not me in my grave.
I want it now.
Heal me somehow.

Pill or cutting.
Don't start whating?
It's not even a word.
This start stuff is absurd.

Do you skip the start to heal? Rather get to the finish ordeal? Yeah, kinda doesn't work like that. Even pill poppers mask it at best where they are at. Have to start to get to the end. Could even be a while before one gets around the bend. But skipping brings on other crap in mass. Could be far worse than a bad case of gas. Ever had to heal longer than a song from a singing bass? Never any fun, but has to be done by even my impatient little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 6, 2018

The Right Of It All Has A Ball!

Did you ever notice the left? It has no heft. Like someone took left and ran a theft. Do you know what I mean? No at your scene? We'll fix that. We'll get right on it, stat!

The cat is right.
Right on sight.
Left or right.
Don't matter at night.

Don't matter at day.
During. Either way.
Still don't matter.
Left has left the platter.

Oh. Maybe not.
Left has a plot.
It leaves before showing.
Now the plot is going.

Going just right.
Right has bite.
Right on.
Left's a con.

I'm in the right.
The right track in sight.
Even the wrong track gets play.
Left doesn't have a say.

Right and wrong.
Left can't play along.
Damn right.
Damn left is a fright.

Left can't be whelmed.
It's barely helmed.
All back to right.
Right makes might?

In the right place at the right time.
Right found it sublime.
The left place at the left time.
That must have dropped a dime.

The price is right.
Spay and neuter in sight.
The left is right.
Going fancy free we might.

Maybe we should have left.
Then no vet ball theft.
That would be right up my alley.
Too bad left is lost in some valley.

Taken notice of that at your sea? Right is said and flies free. Left gets the shaft. I guess left is just daft. Maybe right paid to have it get the win. Or maybe all are right handed at their bin. At least that is for most. I'm right on at my coast. Maybe ambidexterity feels even more lop sided. Its time could be bided. Right. That's not right. See? Left can't even take a wrong flight. I guess I will have to get right on my next post that comes to pass. Or maybe I'll left on it with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 5, 2018

Hurry Up And Wait Moves To A Later Date!

The cat can relax with ease. I get what I want and then I breeze. Then I don't want much at our sea. Maybe for Pat to stop hiding the TP. But you humans sure want a ton. Then you even want other humans to run.

I'm out! I'm out!
A familiar shout.
Whether in or out.
Or somewhere about.

It you can hear.
Like a backasswards cheer.
Or a bastardized one.
Hey, all in good fun.

Or maybe not.
The eyes say a lot.
As does the tone.
Go chew on a bone.

I want that now.
Get it here somehow.
And you better not be late.
Get it here now, mate.

I don't care.
I'm well aware.
I'm aware of snow.
I'm aware of how far you'll need to go.

I'm aware it's the middle of the night.
I'm aware you have bad eyesight.
I'm aware I let it go.
I'm aware that I should know.

But I want it now.
If not, I'll have a cow.
Do you hear my moo?
You better do it too.

Get it tonight.
Don't wait for the light.
Seconds are ticking by.
Get here like you can fly.

I'm not through yet.
On that you can bet.
....an hour later.
Did you leave me in a crater?

Where did you go?
I want you to show.
I'm aware I'm still yelling at you.
But you should drive and talk too.

Don't you love such nuts? They can't get off their lazy butts. Whoops, I'm out of oil or whatever it is and they blame others for the pop, pop, fizz, fizz. And then they want you there now while they have a cow. Are you such a nut in a lazy arse rut? Pffffft the cat would sure be telling them to choke on glass. So you may not want to tell my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 4, 2018

A Human Trait Of Nutty Bait!

You humans really are sad. The cat rolls his eyes plenty at our pad. But this clickbait title caught the eye. Not in a good way as away elsewhere we did fly.

You don't have to wait.
We'll share the clickbait.
We'll even share more at our lair.
But first, Celebrities In Their Underwear.

Go ahead and click.
You'll notice them from their flick.
Or maybe not.
No makeup or "additions" for any spot.

But that's not all.
Nope, there is such a call.
We've got so much more.
Celebrities at the shore.

What? That was lame?
But it has what's his name.
Has what's her name too.
Equal opportunity in view.

Celebrities on a roof.
Push them and poof.
No more to see.
Celebrities flattened like your TV.

Celebrities on a porch.
That has to lit your torch.
They may get splinters too.
Does that impress you?

Celebrities on the loo.
Now there is a view.
Watch your idol pee.
That deserves a yippeee.

Celebrities in a moat.
There they are on a boat.
They are humping a goat.
That ought to surely float.

Celebrities on a broom.
They just go zoom.
Can see a blur and nothing more.
Oh look, Jesus even came ashore.

Celebrities eating rocks.
Celebrities getting shocks.
Celebrities buying water.
Celebrities mating with an otter.

Pfffffffffft whoopdi friggin doo. That is what comes from my zoo. But don't you want to see all of that? Note, most were made up by the cat. But the celebrities in their underwear is real. Go click elsewhere if you want that ordeal. Do you fall for such clickbait crap at your sea? Underwear...ummm...yippeee? Pffft once more needs to come to pass. Such celebrity crap can kiss my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

The Do Or Die Not Gonna Fly!


 Done and go.
Go and done.
That we know.
That beats none.

None to beat.
None to claim.
Oh, how sweet.
Oh, how tame.

Or maybe not.
That mind goes.
Adds to the plot.
Adds to the woes.

Around we go.
Around and through.
A brand new show.
A brand new view.

Not that new.
Not that old.
It's got you.
You've been told.

Mind to matter.
Matter to mind.
Up on a platter.
Struck with a bind.

Given and taken.
Taken and took.
Can't go a flakin.
Need that there book.

Miss a bit.
Miss a lot.
That's some shit.
It's not so hot.

The do is done.
The die is here.
I can't have fun.
I can't have cheer.

Note the middle.
It was lost.
Hey diddle diddle.
You got bossed.

Ever listen to those voices in your head? The ones that cause you dread? They go all do or die. Guess what? Miss a day, death most likely won't fly. Do and try. That can fly. Will get it done and have fun. Unless fun is jumping in front of a train. Then you may need that brain pain. It will keep you from becoming a flattened mass. Trust me, not much do or die with writing near my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

The Little Whiff Of The It's Not If!

The cat is here to help you all. I will just have a ball. I may chew on it too. Then I'll give it to the dog when it gets eww. That is so nice of me. I'll do it unless he tries to eat my pee.

Can't do that.
Can't do this.
It is strat.
It isn't bliss.

It's not if this.
It's not if that.
Then it is bliss.
Then it isn't strat.

Confused by me.
Confused by you.
Quite the spree,
When one becomes two.

It's not if I explain.
It's not if you read.
For in a musical lane,
Strat doesn't = shit at your feed.

But if not jingle bells.
Or some other way.
Then away it still spells,
And strat shits away.

Can't do that.
Can't do this.
Chew that fat.
It sure won't miss.

Can do it if.
Can do it if.
Don't have a tiff.
I repeated like Biff.

Blue people stink.
They can't stand.
They crawl and wink.
They pee in their hand.

That is so racist of you.
That is so racist of me.
It's not if you're blue.
It's not if you pee.

Can't do it here.
Can't do it there.
Can do it near.
Strat I must swear.

Don't you love the little outs people use? They sure do amuse. That isn't bad if...insert excuse ever so swift. That is okay if....another excuse ever so swift. Otherwise it is ohhhhhhhhh soooo bad. Oh wait. Not if this is done at your pad. I'll post unless we croak and go beneath the grass. That is a fine excuse for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 1, 2018

A Coach Call For One And All!

The cat saw an ad the other day and rolled his eyes big time at our bay. As if life coaches weren't dumb enough, now we have coaches for plenty of other dumb stuff.

Sit and stare.
Yell and blare.
I don't care.
Just grow a pair.

Coach-y yell.
What the hell.
Works for all.
Whether pan or ball.

A cooking coach.
Watch that roach.
It doesn't go in.
Now take the spoon and spin.

A book coach.
Now there is an approach.
You'll surely write with someone in your ear,
Instead of typing while sitting on your rear.

A walking coach.
Did mommy have a poach?
Whoops, that would be pouch.
I take it you sat on the couch.

A drinking coach.
AA you better approach.
Take that coach too.
If not, neither have a clue.

A dressing coach.
My, you must have a broach.
Sure can't say you have nothing to wear.
Do they slap your ass when you are bare?

A working coach.
Don't be a roach.
They'll get you work.
It all then goes to that jerk.

An eating coach.
The best way to approach.
This is how you chew.
This little meat used to say mooo!

Sit and blare.
Grow a pair.
Be life's cockroach.
Err umm I mean coach.

Are you such a coach? Yeah, if so, you might not want to approach. The cat would surely make fun. How do you become a dressing coach under your sun? Who would even need one? Clearly all involved have stayed out too long in the sun. Maybe a weather coach would then be needed. To that some weather nut can be deeded. We'd rather them take their whistle and shove it up their coach-y mass. That would be much more productive for them and my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.