Friday, March 22, 2019

The Way Out Isn't A Slippery Trout!

The cat has and many more have to. Heck, all alive has probably had it in view. But did you go all trout? What is that about? Slipping away will just make it stay.

Life has crap.
Each lass and chap.
Crapped on there.
Crapped on everywhere.

A closing of walls.
Shortening of halls.
Surrounding you.
What do you do?

Find the way out.
Slip away like a trout?
Figure out what it's about?
Find the way out.

What is the way?
From crap to okay.
How is it done?
Where is the fun?

A secret to crap.
Pull off this trap.
I have to know.
I can't even see my toe.

Buried to the head.
I'd rather be dead.
Exaggeration a bit.
But look at this shit.

Piles and piles.
Buried with files.
Or would that be flies?
Can't see any clear skies.

Where's the exit?
Must I hex it?
I slipped out today,
But it's still on display.

Does life hate me?
What did I do to thee?
Poor this and that.
I'm only another stat.

How do I get out?
I've tried to slip through like a trout.
Did you just give a clue?
The only way out is through.

Ever try to ignore or slip away when crap comes to play? Can sure not make for a very nice day. Can't sneak around it or ignore it many a time. Have to deal with it like an annoying mime. Of course it may be easier to punch a mime, then again, that's probably a crime. But most of the time the only way out of the crap is to push on through until you finish the lap. Then you'll learn for the next crap that comes to pass. No good to run and give it sass. Of course the crap just could be gas. I'll check if any needs to be passed out my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling. 

Thursday, March 21, 2019

The Order Of Life To Scare Away Strife!

This is how this post is supposed to be. Today it was destined to come to thee. It just was supposed to be that way. These words just wanted to have their say. So out they came from the cat. What do you think of that?

Pop! You're born.
Okay, I'm torn.
Is it more of a scream?
We'll forget that stream.

Then you cry.
Then you die.
Hey, diddle, diddle.
I skipped the middle.

The diddle brought you.
I guess I skipped that too.
Hmm forwards and back.
Time travel at my shack.

Then you grow.
That you know.
Learn stuff too.
My, look at you.

Think you know it all.
Go to the mall.
Because it's cool.
Hey, don't skip school.

Out to life.
Free from strife.
School or work.
Student or clerk.

Seek and mate.
Then try and date.
Marry and mate.
Pop! After a 9 month wait.

Pop! Comes plenty.
Hopefully not twenty.
A cult isn't needed.
Snip snip should be heeded.

Raise and work.
Work not a perk.
Out goes the kids.
Take retirement bids.

Move to sun and sand.
Florida type land.
The grandkids wave.
Next step, your grave.

There you are. The order to life on par. Don't you love the order set? I didn't even throw in get a pet. That is a given though. Did you follow the order at your show? Is that a no? Wow, society must shame you. You did something different unlike more than a few. It just can't be that way. The horror at such an off play. You may now give all the stick up their butt types gas. I guess I'm just an out of order little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

The Buyer Fire Of The Liar!

Some would whine and say their bad. Others go nuts and find them not rad. Out to screw you in the end. That sure is a big trend. And no, not screw in a fun way. Hookers are what you want if that is your foray.

Time to buy.
That car is mine.
I won't tell a lie.
My credit is fine.

I make a ton.
I make it best.
Let's get it done.
I'm better than the rest.

Do you need this?
Do you need that?
Can this we miss?
What is this scat?

Okay, I'll fill it.
Fill it out later.
But I'm a hit.
Oops, fell in a crater.

Can't finance a go-kart.
But shhh don't tell.
I took spending to heart.
Those bill collectors can go to hell.

I'm sure I can pay.
Can't you try another.
At the end of the day,
I may just ask my mother.

She'll finance for me.
She has great credit.
I'll drive for free.
Did you see that story on Reddit?

Maybe co-sign is best.
That could get me there.
Then I wouldn't be such a pest.
She'd never see me sticking it to her lair.

Interest that high?
That's a rip off.
That sure won't fly.
To that I scoff.

I did nothing wrong.
Just didn't pay a bill.
I'll get credit in Hong Kong.
Yep, with my great job I will.

Are you one of those deluded nuts? They sure talk out their butts. And people say car salesmen are bad. Pfffft the buyers are crazier than a whole loony bin pad. They lie and think all is dandy. Maybe they had one too many a spiked Halloween candy. Pat dealt with many of those nuts. They talk out their butts. Did I say that times two? Sadly it is true. They really can go pound sand in mass. That's the ode to them from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

A Perfect Stance? Fat Chance!

The cat was going this way and that and then I was accosted by Pat. He wanted me to pose. I guess he has reached new lows. But then he did not specify, so I let many fly.


What do you want?
Must you and that flashy thing taunt?
Go bother Cass.
She's a posing lass.


The cranky wake up.
See? Fill your cup.
I won't fall for your trap.
I have to go get into crap.


Hmm. What's behind here.
Yeah, look at my rear.
That is all you shall see.
Time to flee.


Oh, I got an itch.
Those can be a bitch.
Look at my foot go.
Enjoying the show?


I'll knock down your clothes.
That ought to bring woes.
Hmmm maybe the water thing.
I could give that a fling.


Not looking at you.
Nope. Not getting a view.
Are you still there?
Yep, I'm aware.


Go away!
Hear what I say.
Stop snapping the pics
That's one too many clicks.


I'll jump on your head.
That will put it to bed.
Would you like to see that?
Go bother another cat.


Got my eye on you.
Are we through?
You sure don't listen well.
This flashy thing isn't swell.


Are you happy now?
I posed somehow,
You got it out of me.
I will get back at thee.

Ever get followed around by a camera nut? Pat sure was in a rut. He snapped and snapped away. I just wanted to play. Like make a big mess. More or less. But I couldn't do that with him on my butt. So I ended his rut. At least first I gave him plenty of sass. That always works well for me little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, March 18, 2019

A Little Could In The Hood!

The what if or what could or what ever comes to all. Although some go on and on and on about it at their hall. Then their what could turns to, Goodbye! All their what could-ing got nothing done and then they die.

A what could.
Is understood.
Likely or not.
Adds to the plot.

Stuck in motion.
Unlike the ocean.
No waves in and out.
Just a dead trout.

But there's no lack.
Sharp as a tack,
With the what could.
Maybe what would.

The could and would.
A hand in hand hood.
A hood that leads nowhere,
Unless acting on the pair.

What could if I...
Ends on the fly.
Nothing happens after.
Maybe hiding laziness in laughter.

The what could goes on.
A what would may dawn.
Many options come to be.
They grow out like a tree.

Damn, went nowhere.
But you developed a stare.
A stare that will go far.
Like maybe to the corner bar.

What could happen there?
Sit in your favorite chair.
Search for the what will.
Maybe something fits the bill.

Wow, what will is dirty.
It may get a little flirty.
What could leaves life,
With no life or strife.

So back to what could.
It is easily understood.
Can just think and chill.
So much easier than what will.

Are you stuck in the what could? Have you moved up to the what would? Hopefully you got passed the would and are on will. That is a much better climb even if it's a hill. Beats sitting on ground with a growing rump, doing nothing but what could and grump. More what will in a singing bass than some humans give a pass. But I guess they like their what could class. I will stick to what will-ing along with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, March 17, 2019

A Guest Err Umm Pest!

The cat whacks intruders when they come to play, except the old guy when in he does stray. Pat makes me leave him be. But then this isn't about me. We did that yesterday. Now it is about others who stray.

Hello all!
Where are you?
Down the hall?
In the loo?

I'm here.
I'll shout it clear.
Never fear.
I'll remain near.

I wish I knew.
Where did you go?
It can't be true.
You think me a foe?

I'm your friend.
I'm the best.
That we must amend.
After all, I'm your guest.

Shouldn't you be here?
Where are you?
I know you're near.
I'm turning blue.

That means I'm mad.
I want to see you.
I just entered your pad.
Come into my view.

I may block some.
I may stand tall.
I may be a thin chum.
I may shrink before all.

But I'm here.
I'm here to see.
I'm always near.
Come out to greet me.

I'll sit here.
Here I'll sit.
I know you're near.
Don't give me a fit.

Oh, there you are.
Out shopping I see.
My grocery bill is on par.
Oh...is that for me?

Would that be a guest or a pest? We'd toss them in the sea at no one's behest. We just would. Have any such "guests" at your hood? We've known a few but we stay out of their view. Otherwise we may be in jail because we'd chuck them out the window without fail. Or they may go through and break the glass. Yeah, to such guests, I'm not a nice little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, March 16, 2019

Believe In The Cat Where You Are At!

Wherever you are, believe my sand bar. Why is that? Because I am a rhyming cat. Because I'm rhyming for you. Because I'm not spiky haired like Blue. Because...oh just because it's on the internet. That is always a safe bet.

An uber secret is here.
I discovered it in an ear.
It was moving right along.
I heard its merry song.

It wants to infect you all.
The short, fat, and tall.
The dead it didn't say.
That could go either way.

It has fangs and claws.
It doesn't obey laws.
It wants to suck your life.
Nope, not vampire strife.

It sucks your thoughts away.
It eats them ten times a day.
Then it and another mate.
You ideas open the flood gate.

They bang and flop.
Now 50,000 more drop.
In the blink of an eye.
Damn, they sure are spry.

Now they have you.
Your whole body is stew.
No clear thoughts for you.
If you even had a few.

Stuck like a stone.
They'll never leave you alone.
You are their host.
They won't even let you post.

They eat your very words.
They'll eat tweets from birds.
Soon all around you will be blank.
You are their gas tank.

They have you full up.
They even got the pup.
Your whole house is infected.
Nope, they can't be detected.

You are theirs forever.
Unless one is clever.
Their weakness is...we don't know.
I bet you could figure it out though.

Do you believe the cat? What can they be that are in you where you are at? Could they be alien gunk? Can gunk hump in a funk? That may be bad. But here it is at my pad. It's on the internet so it is true. Believe everything you see in view? Thanks, now you can believe my pass. I'll never let them invade my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, March 15, 2019

Hit The Street And Treat And Treat And Treat!

The ands sure are piling up these days. I guess humans like their forever maze. That and spending their money. Not the kind that is funny. For belief they take. Or the easy way out they think they make. What is that? Follow the cat.

An issue is had.
Can drive one mad.
From ass to back.
In issues pack.

Can't move or do.
That isn't true.
Believe the nuts.
They talk out their butts.

This pill will do.
If it gets worse, take two.
May cause...we did that.
Not going to be a repeat cat.

But that's not all.
Read the flyer on the wall.
We can help.
We'll fix your yelp.

Come in and get treated.
No lollipop, but it will be defeated.
And by that we mean after a while.
And by that we mean when you smell vile.

You have to keep coming back.
This will always give you flack.
But we can make you feel better.
You will never have to write a letter.

Unless you want to hype us up.
Then go ahead and fill your cup.
We'll treat you for life.
Or at least until I retire with my wife.

Then you're on your own.
But don't be afraid to pick up the phone.
We will treat and treat and treat.
You can still sit at home and eat.

Doesn't that sound like a deal?
Bah, forget the word heal.
That isn't ever the case.
We can say it with a straight face.

Treatment is what you need.
We will treat and treat at your feed.
Well as long as you have the dough.
When you run out, we'll wave bye as you go.

Don't you love those that want you to come back and back and back? That is how they wallet attack. Treatment and never heal. Can't have that in the deal. If that came due, you would never come back. But people fall for it as they think there is some "magic" they themselves lack. Many of them have their place. But watch that smug smile on their face. You can then choose never to trespass. Or tell them to suck on the gas like the kind from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, March 14, 2019

We Have A Connection To Such And Such And Such An Election!

The cat never surely knew. We have a connection to something that's big, hairy, red, and blue. Now that is surely grand. It changes everything...err ummm...yeah right in our land.

We see and shake.
We do a triple take.
We search and search.
You rang, says Lurch.

I've said it too.
Copyright at my zoo?
Damn any of that.
Can't sue a cat.

Back on rhyme.
We left for a time.
A time you can't tell.
Could raise some hell.

The party or nutball kind.
Both annoy my behind.
But that's nothing new.
It's something dumb humans do.

Back to the start.
He took it to heart.
Poor guy went and cried.
He bummed a car ride.

Did his bum do the ringing?
Do farts end up singing?
Do we want to know?
The odds are probably low.

The car sent things in the air.
Like pollution that's not very rare.
The wind blew it near.
Woweee, it connected to my rhyming rear.

I feel so special now.
I just want to meow.
The connection came due.
It just can't be true.

My mind is a mess.
More and not less.
I just can't believe it.
I'm about to have a fit.

The guy won a shoe store election.
Now that is quite the connection.
I feel so honored that I found it.
On second thought, I don't give a shit.

Do you scour everything and anything for a connection to something out there? Or maybe someone at your lair? Does it make you any different in the end? Or are you just a crazy nut that's gone around the bend? Whoopi, you are connected to someone's car that gave off gas. Yeah, that will truly impress, not really, my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

A Link For You Or Maybe Two!

The cat loves when humans come to gawk. Five seconds and then they take a walk. Right to the contact page. They want to offer the cat a wage. Better off with kitty litter. Or bothering some nut on Twitter.

We've come and saw.
We like your paw.
We like your rhyme.
Ten seconds at a time.

So here we are.
We sure aren't far.
But we want to be near.
We want to be part of your rhyming rear.

Could you say rear?
Ass is hard to hear.
It may send customers away.
Just something we had to say.

As for our offer.
We aren't a cougher.
One of those guys spamming.
There will be no rambling jamming.

We would like a post at your sea.
I'm sure many of your readers would love it to come to be.
It can be on anything at all.
We have an army of writers at our hall.

We'll give you two premium backlinks on our site.
That will instantly take flight.
We'll also promote the page.
We could even give you a wage.

Just let us know what you'd like.
Then we can surely strike.
It will be a great deal to all.
We really think we deserve a spot on your wall.

So get back to us soon.
Like before high noon.
We'd love to hear your thoughts.
I'm sure you have lots.

....two days pass by.
We didn't hear from you, why?
Don't you want our deal?
We swear that is is real.

We'd love to set up a chat.
We could just chew the fat.
We know you'll love every bit.
After all, our army of 0.05 cents per word writers wrote it.

Do you ever get any of those emailing you? We've gotten quite a few. One even asked us not to end with ass. Pfffffffffffffffft like that will ever come to pass. Delete is all they get from me. On them we'd biff some pee. It does clump, you know. I'd rather let mutts run our show. But hey, they were good for some sass. That is always fun for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

The Meet Err Umm Repeat!

The cat is here to meet and greet. Damn, we've already met on some blogland street? I guess that is out of the question. Care to give a suggestion? No? Well then I guess we'll give it a go. A repeat...oh no!

Gather one. Gather all.
Come to this shiny hall.
Here you sit. Here you grumble.
Maybe more if they mumble.

In your head. In your eyes.
They sit and sound ever so wise.
Easy to do. Easy to say.
When it's been done before today.

So we shake. So we yap.
Stay awake or fall into a trap.
A trap so big. A trap so wide.
You'll get taken for a one way ride.

So you listen. So you ask.
So you pretend to enjoy the task.
When you mutter. When you grumble.
Wishing it would turn into the Royal Rumble.

Fake it is. Fake it will be.
At least that fake entertains thee.
Unlike the ego. Unlike the vain.
Unlike the one at the head of the train.

The one in charge. The flunky on top.
Either or and they never stop.
On they go. On they yap.
Once again don't fall into a trap.

Eyes on them. Eyes on task.
Make up shit when they ask.
Don't try to stare. Don't try to gaze.
Could leave you in a corporate maze.

One of thrills. One of bills.
One where HR comes and kills.
Down you go. Down you went.
All from saying to get bent.

Back we go. Back we came.
Back once more for this repeat game.
Said and spoken. Said and said.
Does this really stay in the head?

Such are greetings. Such are meetings.
Already met, so now repeatings.
Care to join? Care to go?
Repeatings are sure in the know.

A lover of meetings at your sea? Can you tell that we may not be? Repeatings is sure what many should be named. The same things are usually shamed. Or would that be said? Bah, go ask HR Ted. Or would that be Bob? Hey, it could be Rob. Whatever rhyme fits. Repeats sure come in more than not so movie hits. They can come with the 9-5 in mass, which results in sass from my ever so met little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, March 11, 2019

Get The Meaning With This Screening!

The cat is here to get you meaning. That will be quite the screening. Or maybe just another post. Hey, it is easy to make fun of you at my coast. Humans sure don't make it hard. They must be the joker card.

A new day has come.
The sun isn't glum.
It shines upon you.
As it does every other zoo.

Unless cloud or night.
But screw weather taking flight.
You already talk enough about that.
No need to be a repeat weather nut dingbat.

For we need something more.
Like the sun shining on your shore.
Here we go with an encore.
Sorry, does it at every shore.

Unless...damn you.
No weather to come due.
We need something more.
A hidden meaning to explore.

No, that's not it.
What's with this spit?
Spit as in you drool.
That is so not cool.

Or maybe it is?
Should we hold a quiz?
Could get some insight.
Should drool take flight?

Was that a no?
Sorry, that strikes a blow.
It can't just be that.
Multiple choice to create a stat.

One that we fake.
Like a germy handshake.
Some handshake deal.
Yeah, those end up real.

We need something more.
Here we go with the encore.
Yeah. Yeah. The sun shines on you.
Well whoopdi friggin doo.

Oh, there is a meaning?
It's not the same as my sunny screening?
It holds far more at your sea?
I think meaningful was just described by thee.

Meaningful for you.
Holds far more in view.
While congrats from a cat.
You can hold in far more scat.

Doesn't meaningful hold such grand things? You better go before having flings. Spring is soon coming. You'll hear that humming. Is it more meaningful to you? Did the cat take that a bit far at our zoo? Is the meaning now full up? Maybe you might want to ask a pup. The weather sure must be a meaningful conversation to all. You say it enough at your hall. But wouldn't that make it an every day, ordinary pass? Bah, I'll stick to emptying my not so meaningful little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, March 10, 2019

The Yesterday Gets A Replay!

You humans sure have short attention spans far and wide. A fact you don't even try to hide. The things you say attest to that. You can't even acknowledge yesterday's stat.

It's big big news.
We've given you clues.
Now it's to come.
Aliens caught probing a bum.

It is so true.
It's right here in view.
The world will quake.
Maybe to the hippy shake.

We aren't alone.
Get ET a phone.
Call Arnold or Glover.
They aren't an alien lover.

It's big news.
It's far better than some ocean cruise.
Public space travel is officially a thing.
You have to be as rich as a king.

For 10 million you can go.
You will be in the know.
You will fly and float.
That beats any old boat.

It's umm news.
That sports team decided to lose.
They made losing a fad.
Sports people aren't glad.

But what can you do?
We bring it to you.
You do the rest.
What? Back on that alienfest?

That was yesterday's news.
Don't even peruse.
It was big big then.
That was way back when.

Like 24 hours ago.
Now all are in the know.
We've got other news to send.
Beat it into the ground is also a trend.

We've got big big news.
Aliens go probing on the cruise.
That was never said.
Now get yesterday's news out of your head.

Don't you love how big big things go by the wayside after the news has given them a ride? They may beat things into the ground for a while as you turn many a dial, but eventually you humans ignore or forget it in mass. Why? Because a new big, or maybe not so, big big thing comes to pass. Because a losing team beats aliens probing in mass. Yep, that is so much bigger to any backside except for maybe my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, March 9, 2019

The Sacrifice Rolls The Dice!

Everyone who has ever lived has done this. There are some things that are just a miss. Unless alternate reality you does it. Then it all is infinite or some shit.

Decide on the go.
Decide way ahead.
Whether win or blow,
You've chosen a bed.

Comfy and soft.
A big bushy room.
Up in a loft.
Cold and full of doom.

Missed out on one.
Missed out on the other.
What's done is done.
Go cry to your mother.

Or maybe your wife.
Maybe your hubby.
The choices of life,
Are short, fat, and stubby.

Or maybe tall, thin, and wide.
But it has to be one.
Or maybe a combo in stride.
Either way, sacrificing is done.

Taken that job.
Left the other.
Ate corn on the cob.
Choked and died from smother.

A path not walked.
A path always taken.
At one you balked.
At one you were fakin.

Done and do.
Not and did.
Out of the blue.
Kid or no kid.

Risked or not.
Run and ran.
Both have a plot.
Both have a fan.

One over the two.
Two over the one.
Whatever is chosen by you,
Some sacrificing is done.

Have you ever thought of that? It applies for human, dog, or cat. Every single thing you do means that something is sacrificed at your zoo. As we can't do it all. Not even in a million years at each hall. So we have to sacrifice away and do what we wish at the end of the day. Unless you want mid day when you can roll in the grass. That option is fine by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, March 8, 2019

The Increased Laze Within A Maze!

Round and round you humans go. That we've done and that we know. But the cat likes to stick it in here and there. Round and round the two legged pair. Said it twice. I guess I better roll the dice.

Made a rhyme.
Did it one time.
Made a rhyme.
Again I'll use time.

The lazy of it.
The who gives a shit.
Evident from the start.
Like a crack at Wal-Mart.

That we know.
That we show.
That we see.
Lazy comes to be.

Clear as day.
Or a moon's display.
If full and under.
Forget the thunder.

Back on task.
What's that you ask?
Don't you know?
Lazy's given a go.

But not the start.
A time taken to heart.
Dig a little deeper.
Lazy is a creeper.

Fear of this.
You may miss.
Sit on your ass.
Lazy makes you pass.

Can't do that.
May fall flat.
Sit on your ass.
Lazy makes you pass.

Life is hard.
Can't mow the yard.
All because of life.
I can't find a wife.

I can't do this.
Everything is a miss.
But I can continue to sit on my ass.
Lazy sure goes well with gas.

Ever use other things when really lazy is the cause? If yes, you'll get no applause. Fear, can't do, and whatever other crap, sure can come from a lazy lass or chap. When really they are the only fool. Sitting around with the brain of a mule. They are even lazier than a singing bass. Pffft to their many excuses says my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, March 7, 2019

Fast But No Smart From The Start!

Got the info I wanted. I'm not really haunted. I knew it but needed it. What is this shit? It gave me ghost stuff? My, this thing is rough.

Type and poke.
The sun you soak.
Walk and see.
Nothing but me.

Reflection or glare.
I'll still stare.
Can't see the going.
May be a flat showing.

But have to know.
What's that glow?
What's that thing?
Is it spring?

Can I get a fling?
Related to a king?
Ask Adam that.
Better get on it, stat.

Quicker and quicker.
A finger picker.
Or use a thingy.
Rhymes with majiggy.

Relies on me.
I have to see.
Work, you thing.
It has to be spring.

It's still winter?
Damn that printer.
The print has to be wrong.
Maybe in Hong Kong.

Tell me it's spring.
Make my heart sing.
Tell me now, dammit.
A finger to slam it.

Still saying that?
Go talk to a cat.
I have better things to do.
I'll hit something new.

Oh look, lollipops for sale.
That sure won't fail.
Damn, I went off the trail.
Car smushed me, now I'm frail.

Catch onto that? See with the cat? Or were you too busy gawking and maybe walking? Gawking down at the phone. Addicted to its tone. And guess what? They are fast, but not smart at any hut. Especially with an idiot human at the controls. An idiot human that gawks and strolls. Then you get smushed into a flat mass. You sure wouldn't get any sympathy from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, March 6, 2019

A Twist And Turn As We Learn!


Up we go.
Down we flow.
In we step.
Out we pep.

Around and through.
Came to you.
Over and back.
Sure can't lack.

A twist and shout.
That popped out.
A twist and turn.
Felt that burn.

A mingle and chat.
Adds to the stat.
A bend and shift.
Been given a gift.

A yawn and stretch.
Something to fetch.
A relax and view.
That has come due.

A bend and shake.
A fine partake.
A wiggle and waltz.
Sure can't be false.

A jump and jiggle.
Look at that wiggle.
A shimmy and shake.
Another fine partake.

A known and new.
Make quite a view.
A more and yet not.
An ever expanding plot.

A bend and shift.
Thoughts now drift.
A drift to more.
Creating a lore.

A towel and cease.
Stifles the increase.
A twist and burn,
Increases the learn.

That just popped out for the insecure shout. For the more we twist what we know, the more we can add to it and learn at our show. If something doesn't work, we know it's not a perk. If something does a little bit, we know we have to bend and shift it. Then something just make fully work. All from not quitting and keeping on a bending things to get that perk. Just when you bend be careful of gas. That tends to pop out of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

The Bad End Makes You Spend!

The way we go can be a way. That way can also pay. The cat can confuse. It sure does amuse. By the end you'll sure know the path that we have given a go.

Time is needed.
Things can't be heeded.
So go go go.
Ignore what's to and fro.

Take the path.
That path of wrath.
The path of death.
May be your last breath.

Or maybe not.
The not is my plot.
It will never happen.
So let's stop yappin.

Have to get there.
No time to spare.
Like time is really change.
Stop talking strange.

We have to go.
This will work, I know.
I know it in my heart.
Let's get to the going part.

The cut is short.
That's my report.
It is far better.
Right down to the letter.

So away we go.
And go and go and never slow.
That shortcut is the best.
It beats all the rest.

Damn, dinged the car.
Bah, that won't go far.
Damn, hit a dumpster.
Bah, just will make one a grumpster.

Damn, caused a pile up.
Pffft just a little hiccup.
Damn, hit a pedestrian.
Maybe they'll take up equestrian.

Damn, my car blew to pieces.
This post now ceases.
My shortcut was still the best.
It cut short my life unlike the rest.

Do you think shortcuts through before taking them at your sea? They may end as badly as can be. Is it worth the risk to save a little time? That seems to be the main chime. I can, need to, whatever else, save time. Then you waste more and spend many a dime. Yeah, on those types of shortcuts will take a pass. No need for us to be a dead little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, March 4, 2019

Up And Down With Your Gown!

There seems to be sides. They go with the tides. The cat finds those have a giant litter box. You may want to wear shoes and socks. Never know what could be buried there. Okay, we are done with the PSA at our lair.

Up and down.
Down and up.
Out on the town.
A half empty cup.

The town is small.
The town isn't large.
Give him a call.
The bartender in charge.

One may know.
One may not.
That's so and so.
They stopped a plot.

Could be a trigger.
Could be a point.
May need a re-jigger.
May need a new joint.

Could find it funny.
Could find it lame.
Could be right on the money.
That really isn't tame.

Or so they say.
They said to me.
Those that eat hay.
A glee for free.

Back on track.
Or maybe not.
Who needs to go back?
That may not be hot.

Hot or cold.
A game well played.
Go and grab a hold.
Watch out for the Raid.

Never know what flows.
That's how it is done.
In the idea grows.
Out it is run.

For some it is down.
For some it is up.
Sides of all in town.
Maybe even a pup.

Don't you love the downsides and upsides to everything? Do they make your heart sing? Do they hurt your head? Downside to the downsides and upsides if that is led. See? Even they have them too. Aren't they fun to use at one's zoo? You can go any which way from gold to brass. At least one is germ free for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, March 3, 2019

Photokeratitis Comes To Play On A Snowy Day!

The cat hates the snow, but that you know. If you don't, well now you won't. Or would that be will? Bah, you'll get your fill. We will just show why it is bad. You heard it here first at our pad.

The snow shall come.
The snow shall stay.
It can kiss my bum,
And go on its way.

There it goes.
Now it's gone.
Damn, more woes.
It's back on the lawn.

You stare and look.
How dare it return.
It's covered your nook.
Ahhhh, they burn.

Your eyes were peering.
Your eyes were staring.
Both don't mean endearing.
Gaze would mean caring.

Photokeratitis came due.
The snow blinded you.
Now you can't see our zoo.
Whatever will you do?

Photokeratitis is had.
All from the snow.
It is oh so bad.
That much we know.

Snow blindness it means.
Photokeratitis from snow.
Now on your screens,
You must make it go.

Melt it with fire.
Burn the stuff up.
Just don't expire,
That would be a hiccup.

Catch it with nets.
Toss it in lakes.
Let it get eaten by pets.
Ship it off with snakes.

If not, you're screwed.
Photokeratitis may come.
That would sure be rude.
That and then some.

Don't you hate snow now? It could make you blind somehow. What was that? I'm a mistaken cat? Bah, Photokeratitis is a real word, even if it sounds absurd. The cat will go with it. We need to give a bad rap to that white shit. So don't get Photokeratitis from snow and go blind. Get rid of it all, mankind. Maybe I'll go melt it with gas. That seems to come from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, March 2, 2019

An Optional State Opens The Gate!

The option to read is right here at my feed. All you needed to do was click. Then of course let your eyes do the trick. Would that be trick? Is it tricky to pick? Bah, it beats the cat. Not literally though where we are at.

Options of life.
Some may bring strife.
The option is there.
One may have to beware.

Some lead to more.
What could be in store.
Some lead to less.
Won't even have a guess.

One word is taken.
Whether true or fakin.
With one it is done.
The either or run.

More will be lost.
With the word they are tossed.
Tossed in an abyss.
But could still bring bliss.

If that's your thing.
Or not at your wing.
Then give it a shout.
Let that no out.

All options gone.
Sure not a con.
They just up and left.
Options with no heft.

Floated into space.
With the no embrace.
Or maybe into a pit.
Hey, you said it.

Options have passed.
You may as well be gassed.
For now there you sit.
Again, you said it.

There you watch.
There you suck scotch.
There you wallow.
Come on now, swallow.

Sit in your funk.
Yes led to a slam dunk.
Just not for you.
Was that a boo hoo?

Options sure can pile on from yes. Usually more and not less. But yes isn't always a good thing. No sure can be grand to sing. But no means options are toast. Do you stick with one more than the other at your coast? We will continue to say yes to sass. It is a fine way to be for my optional little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, March 1, 2019

A Round With No Round Comes Around!

The cat has heard this a time or two, so I am going to do it at my zoo. Maybe I really won't. Know you don't. But know you soon will. It may or may not fit the bill.

Things to do.
Things to view.
Things are done.
Now return to fun.

Let all know.
Give them a show.
A clickbait clip show.
My, it's all in a row.

The roundup of this.
It brought so much bliss.
The roundup of that.
No need to chew fat.

It's all there to see.
Roundedup for thee.
A word it may not be.
But pffft, speech is free.

I got the crown.
There was no frown.
Out of the town.
A roundup and not down.

Hold on there.
I have things to spare.
Things you might want.
I may want to flaunt.

Roundup is done.
But I have more fun.
At least fun for me.
Don't you want to see?

Was that a yes?
I made the right guess.
I just know I did.
No need to round up the bid.

This isn't math.
Go take a bath.
I'll be right back.
This sure won't lack.

Now can you see?
A rounddown for thee.
Isn't it a clever clip show?
I'm sleeping, shitting, stepping, and looking out the window.

Hmm I was going to ask why the rounddown is never used. I think I answered that as I amused. Do you ever do a roundup? Have you every had a rounddown fill your cup? Do we really want to see the mundane? Clip shows still suck and are a pain. But we'll round them all up and toss them in the sea. Now that is a roundup that can come to be. Making fun of the word sure can take an interesting pass. So is the way of the brain of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, February 28, 2019

The Timely Creation Of Gratification!

The cat wants to be gratified today. Yeah, I want it and lots of pay. Actually, I will just take the latter. The first really doesn't matter. If so, we'd end up like a human mass. No thanks says my little rhyming ass.

A profile creation.
Tune to many a station.
A bunch of elation.
Ten second duration.

Read my dictation.
Effort of pre-school graduation.
But read it in jubilation.
It's my character limitation.

I want the gratification.
It is my simplification.
So make a recommendation.
About me, you ugly dalmatian.

How dare you go all penalization.
It was a great 10 word mobilization.
You should start an idolization.
This leads to my inauguration.

Don't bring irritation.
This has no valuation.
Not even an approximation.
Just make it a triple visitation.

Bring the whole population.
From kings to sanitation.
I need the gratification.
I give great information.

My awesome two word isolation,
Truly has to cause impregnation.
Wrap yourself up in my occupation.
I'm that good at an explanation.

Truth in two word documentation.
Or maybe three is no exasperation.
I have the best communication.
So come and give me your cooperation.

This is an amplification.
Four words create alienation.
So I'll use an abbreviation.
Must avoid over saturation.

So enjoy the presentation.
Give my your undying integration.
Be like an infestation.
My self gratification has no expiration.

Are you a self gratification nut? Are you in a me me me now rut? Pffft says the cat. Your pitiful two words can be buried with my scat. The clip show of your life gets no love from me. We hate clip shows at our sea. If you can't put in the work, then pfffft is the perk. Did the cat offend the self gratification human mass? Pffft if so says my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Down We Go With An Increasing Flow!

This will drag you all down today. Not in the emotional way. Or the physical way. Hmm does that work with what we say? Beats the heck out of me. I guess we shall see.

Here comes the nagging.
What's with the dragging?
Why is it here?
Good the internet is near.

Dragging is to drag.
Hmm that raises a red flag.
Or maybe the flag is blue.
Whatever are we to do?

Dragging is caused by a hand.
My, that is sure grand.
I guess we are now in the know.
Wait. Where does this go?

Man dragged to chick flick.
Now that is just sick.
Who would do such a thing?
Dragging leads to a fling.

A fling from dragging.
Things may need bagging.
If not you may catch a disease.
It is far worth than fleas.

Drag yourself to the doctor if you have any of these.
Red spots, white spots, black spots, or are impacted by the breeze.
Keep dragging the scroll thingy down.
Oh look, this ought to make you frown.

You may have dragged in the plague.
The symptoms are vague,
But you could die tomorrow.
Oh no. Fill yourself with sorrow.

Woman dragged to death by bear.
What? That has to be rare.
Why would that come up?
Did she treat it like a pup?

Bears drag humans away to their den.
They get women and men.
Don't go into the woods at night.
That is also when owls take flight.

Owls drag things to drop on your head.
Yeah, that was really really said.
Bigfoot gets dragged into this too.
Damn, my next post is almost due.

Ever end up like that? Look for one thing and then down into the bowels of the internet you go splat? Down, down, down you go. Then ten hours flew by at your show. One little thing can sure lead to a whole bunch of crap. The internet can make all a sap. We'll stick to a rhyming pass. It works so much better for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Sure Can't Halt Good Old Fault!

The cat wrote that title today. Actually on April 4, 2018 at our bay. But that is close enough. Hey, being that far ahead is tough. You have to remember when it was done. Or not, but I gave it a run. Yep, me. Now on to thee.

This was done.
Done a ton.
Had to be so.
That's what I know.

But it was wrong?
Bah, sing a new song.
Sing what's been sung.
Go ahead and pop a lung.

It wasn't me.
It was thee.
Or maybe him.
Maybe her on a limb.

I couldn't do that.
I'm far too fat.
Or maybe it's skinny.
What makes me winny?

Screwed up a word?
Oh, how absurd.
It was not me.
The internet had it to see.

It was just there.
So don't give me that stare.
I never typed it.
The computer did that shit.

It just made me swear.
So don't pull out your hair.
None of this is my fault.
Don't come here and halt.

Go to that guy.
He is ever so sly.
He looked at me wrong.
It is his fault because he's from Hong Kong.

It has to do with the jet.
That is a safe bet.
Or maybe the plane.
Or maybe some scary lane.

It all came from there.
Or maybe life isn't fair.
Life is a constant assault.
That makes it not my fault.

Don't you love those people? Could blame it on an alien church steeple. But nope, never ever them who did it. Not one little bit. Even when caught in the act. Not their fault is still their default pact. We tend to ignore and/or make fun of such nuts. They really end up talking out their butts. For this post I don't even have to blame Cass. It all came from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, February 25, 2019

The Useless Breaks In For A Spin!

Actually that is wrong. I should sing a different song. No breaking is had. You just open the door and let them into your pad. You do it every single day. Then some whine in dismay. But you let them in. So take it on the chin. Or maybe the ass. Now it's time for our pass.

Home is the best.
It's where you find zest.
Where you can relax.
Just pay the property tax.

If not, bye bye.
Could make you cry.
But we've sure been there.
No need for a repeat affair.

Who would it affair with though?
Damned if I know.
Let some clickbait solve that.
Oh look, solved by some gnat.

You look and you look.
They aren't a crook.
Collecting data on you.
Maybe watching you too.

Maybe not full on gawker,
But acting just like a stalker.
Yet you go back for more.
You just open the door.

Ads and trash.
Have a bash.
Clicks and clutter.
You need that butter.

News and leaks.
My, a girl speaks.
Or maybe a guy.
Oh me, oh oh oh my.

Home is the best.
But where's my rest?
Where's my time?
Oh look, some fool dropped a dime.

Has pics and all.
He can't stand tall.
Look at him bend.
This can't be the end.

Neighbor's at the door.
You want to throw your trash at my shore?
You want to gawk at me?
Get away, you are as freaky as can be.

Did you ever realize that? Boy, you humans really get eye rolls from the cat. You don't let people throw trash or gawk into your home, yet you allow plenty of both to roam. You have trash in heaps that wastes time by the ton. Then you whine that you have none. But really you are just allowing trash and gawking. At least there is no neighbor forcing you to do any talking. On such nonsense we'll hit block and take a pass. Trash of any kind bothers the OCD of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, February 24, 2019

And That Makes Ten As In A Decade At Our Den!

Can you believe the cat is in double digits now? I'll soon be as old as Belva and unable to raise a single eyebrow. Then I'll be too old to give a shit about not giving a shit. Hmm that may be worth it. What can the cat do today? We shall see while I turn 10 at my bay.


Does Pat think this a joke?
He allowed in this bloke.
He is even playing with my fish.
That wasn't my birthday wish.


Cassie on top.
This has to stop.
Why do I get the couch?
Yeah, she can be a grouch.


Now I'm shunning.
Soon I'll be running.
Look! Here comes my gift.
I'm off some swift.


Bah. That's not it.
I don't want a diaper full of umm shit.
You can have the old toy.
We scratched out all the joy.


My gift is being delivered to me.
Bah! Two poop machines came to be.
This just can't be good.
Where's that gift in my hood? 


A new cat tower.
Hey, this isn't your hour.
Get off of my tower.
I'll drown you in the shower.


You're still exploring.
Don't you start snoring.
I'll fix you.
And that blonde one too.


Yeah, I'm here.
You better peer.
Get off of it.
You don't get one bit.


Another in my space.
Cassie is giving a warm embrace.
Or maybe a cold one.
But she's not making him run.


Those laser eyes don't scare me.
On you I'll take a pee.
It is my new tower.
I'm the cat of the hour.


Bah, Cassie's in on it too.
A birthday conspiracy at our zoo.
And she tries to look so grand.
I'll bury her in the litter sand.


Hmph, stupid other cats.
I hope they choke on gnats.
Took my birthday gift.
 At least I'm not too old to be swift.

No, no choking on gnats came due. Don't want the SPCA after our zoo. But how dare Pat buy a cat house for those guys. How does he thinks that flies? And Cassie betrayed me and joined them on it. What is this shit? Is 10 the April Fools birthday? I'm too old for this shit anyway. The cat will now  go pass some birthday gas. Maybe they'll choke a little bit on what comes out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Could Go Into A Funk With The Sunk!

The cat watches you go here and there. Many humans sure pass my lair. Some with this or that. They are all sunk to the cat. But more comes to play. I guess pirates are everywhere with booty to pay.

Sunk like a rock.
Now comes the shock.
Or maybe it's the burn.
You haven't a return.

You wait and wait.
When's the date?
Isn't it magic?
No? That's tragic.

Sunk it all.
Could head for a fall.
Like Humpty Dumpty's splash.
Except he still makes cash.

Yours has been sunk.
It just went kerplunk.
Thrown in the sea?
Beats little old me.

But it has sunk.
Not in a trunk.
Maybe actually the trunk.
Or on an animated skunk.

The costs are sunk.
That desk can plunk.
Like head meets it.
Sunk has been green lit.

Or would that be red?
This of that in bed.
Maybe it's in the black.
Still suffered a sunk attack.

Should that be sinking?
Sit there while thinking.
Or stand if you wish.
Those sunk costs can swish.

Down down down they go.
Davy Jones' Locker in tow.
Or would that be sunk?
Maybe some sort of ocean slam dunk?

Give it a goodbye kiss.
Costs gone into the abyss.
Sunk in a majestic sea.
Oh look, another fee.

Why would costs sink? Did that make you think? Do you throw money down the drain to make them sink? Hmmm double word play may bring you to the brink. Don't you love sunk costs too? Never get them back at your zoo. May as well be a majestic abyss. Do fees make you hiss? May have to talk to the upper brass. Feel free to sink costs into my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, February 22, 2019

The Explanation For This May Bring Bliss!

The cat will explain away today. Explain what you may say? Or maybe you'll just think it. Either way, we'll explain in a bit. A bit means in a minute or two. Depends on how fast you read what's in view.

Did or done.
Fail or fun.
Done and did.
Got or rid.

A roundabout.
An in or out.
An out or in.
An sure got a spin.

Thumbs or diss.
A little dismiss.
Bleak or bliss.
What's up with this?

This to thunk.
Junk in the trunk.
This to that.
Can't fool a cat.

Fool or fooled.
Foolee retooled.
Grin or stammer.
So goes the grammar.

This was this.
That was bliss.
This was that.
Dig to drat.

This came after.
Hole or rafter.
Up or down.
This from a town.

Town or city.
This took pity.
Went with city.
Thanks, old bitty.

This was this.
Smack or kiss.
Lips or ass.
My, that's crass.

This was thunk.
Now in a funk.
This was just this.
A post not to miss.

Did you get this or that? Was this the only thing shown by the cat? Wasn't that long? This sure came on strong. All of that to say that this is this. My, sure a post you can't miss. Don't you love long-winded explanations at your sea? Why use two words when 1000000000000 could come from thee? That is sure to impress the singing bass. You may just get an eye roll from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, February 21, 2019

A Default Way Day By Day!

The settings are out. They swim like trout. The follow and swim. My, the settings are dim. Maybe out on a limb? Ferris Bueller may think that dim. Or was it his sister? Hey, he wasn't in Twister.

The computer comes.
You beat the drums.
Brand spankin new.
Look, some adware for you.

Default at start.
Taken to heart.
A full adware cart.
Wanna buy a pop tart?

Type and find.
Ads have a mind.
All there in view.
The default of you.

Speaking of which.
What's that twitch?
You don't like my spelling?
You just had to go telling?

The default of you.
It just came due.
A default setting.
There's more I'm betting.

A gambling way.
Bye bye to your pay.
Got more and go.
A default heigh ho.

The adware is there.
It can still stare.
It gave you that site.
Gamble all night.

The double default.
Two in one vault.
You and it.
One doesn't give a shit.

The default of you.
Whatever will you do?
The adware gets a delete.
You're stuck on repeat.

Is that not neat?
Brought it back, sweet!
That time for real.
Default grammar setting is the real deal.

Do you ever look at your default settings? Would it upset you if I used gettings? If so, I just got it for the third time. Or at least the second with my rhyme. Any default setting stand out for you about you? Don't you hate when adware comes with any computer that's new? I think my default setting is stuck on sass. It sure pops out of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

The Glitch Dwell For A Spell!

Not going all Halloween Nazi with her voodoo. She can take her spells and go boo hoo. Or maybe boo boo? Both sound rather kiddie of you. That could be a glitch. Does it make you itch?

Whether mate or batter,
What does it matter?
When it comes to switches,
There will always be glitches.

A swing and a miss.
That sure ain't bliss.
My use of ain't.
Some may faint.

Or just stare.
Or maybe glare.
Or maybe both.
That shows growth.

Growth of a wrinkle.
Not down where you tinkle.
Hey, it rhymed.
A glitch that's timed.

The timing was on.
The glitch ain't gone.
Ain't and timing.
At least I'm not rhyming.

Or talking about the weather.
Hey, brings all together.
Maybe that's why I'm apart.
There's no weather in my heart.

Hmm a post there.
The weather to care.
Or maybe just stare.
Are we going with glare?

Off topic a bit.
Bah, I can handle it.
Handle without touching.
That could be hard muching.

Muching to suching.
A nerve I'm touching.
Touching without reaching.
Do you get what I'm teaching?

Or maybe what's taught.
For I hit the spot.
Hit without hitting.
Like standing while sitting.

Did you catch that? A glitch or three by the cat. Does the cat dwell? Nah, he just gives a what the hell. Or if kids are around he uses heck. Have many a thing in our deck. Of course it may slip. Whoops, a glitch trip. Still no worry here. No need to peer. Another for glare and stare. When glitches happen do you care? Do you dwell and dwell and dwell? So you fell. Get up after a quick roll in the grass. It works wonders for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

The Not Really Embrace Of The Race!

There is a race going on. One that has to start at the crack of dawn. If dawn even has a crack. But we did that at our shack. We did a race or two too. Damn, what are we to do?

Catsetory.com has it all.
You'll now stand tall.
Tall and fat and wide.
In your blah blah blah take pride.

Damn, wrong channel.
Next I'll be selling flannel. 
Flannel with a little cat hair.
Could be a hit at my lair.

Hmm, the idea stuck.
Come and spend a buck.
Buy it now now now.
It will really wow.

Sorry, can't ship yet.
Don't blame this pet.
You ordered the thing.
You'll get it long after the cha-ching.

I just wanted to sell.
Sell and be ever swell.
You bought and I win.
That sure isn't a sin.

Go do yoga and stay calm.
Come on, move that palm.
Now bend that tush.
Breath in and push.

Hmm mixed up there?
Damn that cat hair.
It got in your face.
But continue the yoga race.

Do Warrior Three.
Faster, faster for me.
I have to beat thee.
I beat you to Tree.

Let's watch the movie soon.
Let's watch it at noon.
You and I in the same spot.
We'll sit on the same cot.

I'm watching it faster.
You're slower than drying plaster.
Does plaster even dry?
Bah, I won the race on the first try.

Do you race when there is no race? Do you watch a movie faster with any embrace? Can that actually be done? Fast forward doesn't actually count as watching what's spun. Doesn't yoga and race kinda not mix? Is that an oxymoron playing tricks? I'll let you humans race the stupid things that come to pass. So much better just to relax my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, February 18, 2019

A Bubble Of First Just May Burst!

The cat is the first to do this rhyme. Maybe another will do it sometime. Heck, maybe I'll remake it one day. Yeah, and I'll become a rhyming dog that always wants to play.

First out of the gate.
A fine horse racing fate.
But still may not matter.
Especially if your horse is fatter.

Just had to say it.
It popped in for bit.
And so it shall flow.
I may be the first, you know.

First is the best.
It beats all the rest.
No one ever won coming latter.
Who wants to be the second batter?

That's latter not later.
Don't be some kind of rater.
But if you must quench such thirst,
You could be some kind of first.

The kind is up to you.
The some comes with it too.
That is just so you know.
Must reap what you sow.

Sew me a line.
Works for the feline.
A cheat rhyme and word play.
I'll get damned to Hell today.

Won't be the first time.
My, that's just a crime.
But would it be worse than first?
Depends on the outburst.

Now we've got it.
First is always a hit.
Damn, were still wrong.
I need a search engine to play along.

Google, the biggest and best.
Didn't come first with its zest.
Amazon the store for one and all.
Sorry, wasn't in at first call.

Farcebook getting social with media and stuff.
Whoops, wasn't first to show such fluff.
First may just make you smart and poor.
Don't you just want that forevermore?

Doesn't always pay to be first out of the gate. Have you ever wanted to be first and found the same fate? First left you in second's dust? Or maybe in 50th people trust. You just never know what place will strike. Hey, if it is a blatant rip off a lawsuit can take a hike. That's take a hike in and not out. What was that about? Yeah, you aren't the first to ask that of my sass. And you probably won't be the last when it comes to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Time To Get Ready And Bring Along Steady!

I will time this at a steady pace. I can do it even with a one hand embrace. Been doing so for years, so it is rather simple. Kinda like making a dimple. Hey, it rhymed. Smile and prove what I chimed.

Fast and faster.
Holes in plaster.
Missing a link.
No time to think.

Thought and done.
Nope, wasn't spun.
Missed and missed.
No time for a list.

That's kinda fast.
Or so says last.
A pat on the back.
First they do lack.

So comes the slow.
That much you know.
Then you get ready.
Next comes the steady.

Now mix and match.
A duo you can hatch.
Take things that way.
Slow and steady at play.

It's surely be said.
Spoken and fed.
A giant that's sleeping.
In your head it goes creeping.

I'll get it done.
I'll make it spun.
I'll have it there.
In by a hair.

Or hare if you're a rabbit.
Don't make this a habit.
Stay on track and on pace.
Slow and steady you embrace.

Let the weeks tick.
Let the months stick.
Let the years flow.
Slow and steady I crow.

A duo that lost.
One has been tossed.
Slow forgot about steady.
You're dead and not ready.

Do you ever use the slow and steady as an excuse at your sea? I've heard it said many a time to me. But then they forget the steady part. They only take slow to heart. Then slow turns to never and they whine when they never finished their endeavor. Maybe the steady part has a part to play? That may be why the two things they say. Hey, I just wanted to point that out with this pass. Steady may give slow the shaft when it comes to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, February 16, 2019

A Drive To Worse May Bring A Curse!

The cat doesn't even have to leave the house. It can even be seen by the beady eyes of a mouse. There are many human drivers that suck. Doesn't matter if they are driving car, tank, or truck.

Idiots here, Idiots there.
I'm a cat, so I don't care.
But you sit and you swear.
You may even pull out a death glare.

A finger may flip.
You may run your lip.
Or lips if you have two.
Or you may sit and stew.

Stir that pot nice.
Throw in some spice.
How'd we get to cooking?
Sorry, we can't take your booking.

Now that that's clear,
We'll get back to your peer.
That is glance for those slow.
Wait! Glare, just so you know.

They are the worst.
You're about to burst.
Drivers behind and in front suck.
Those side ones drive like some fluck.

They are all it.
Here I sputter and spit.
All are the worst.
I really may burst.

A repeat in rhyme.
A spit and sputter time.
A repeat of that.
Chew the same fat.

Must sure be tender.
Does it have a gender?
Don't sit there and choke.
Still no bookings there, bloke.

Are you saying it's me?
I'm making things bad for thee?
I'm the worst at my sea?
My, you're on quite the spree.

Now what about you?
What did you just do?
Can you point to a driver that's better?
Oh, you'd rather write a hate-filled letter.

Have you ever noticed that? You humans sure can throw a spat. Yes, there are many bad drivers out there worse than you, but have you ever picked out the better ones in your view? Or do you just focus on the bad? Hmm is there a deeper meaning to be had? The cat will let you think that up in mass. I'll now go back to watching the cars zoom by the house of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, February 15, 2019

A Prove It Where You Sit!

Are you ready to prove things today? Seems many a human declare it at their bay. We only thought the tiny humans did it. Turns out, the big ones use it for a fit. Pffft says the cat. Pelt them with scat.

When it comes to ideas I have quite a few.
No, I will not sit here and prove it to you.
Don't choke on your phlegm or that snot.
Both are probably from the same lot.

Probably comes with a whole can of worms.
That too can mean a few different terms.
But probably has so many different things.
Things sure tops it with many a flings.

A word can fling if you shout it out.
Don't sit there and think all about.
Now I have you in quite the mood.
With my lost it, you may feel quite nude.

Nude well clothed may be hard to swallow.
That too could turn out rather hollow.
But if it has heft and a distance to go,
Make sure you add ketchup or mustard or crow.

That last is more my wishful thinking each day.
Do I think? Hey, don't interrupt what I say.
Saying and thinking are two separate words.
Both get used as one though by brain dead turds.

Why I'm not stopping and still going on,
Could be because you are into a con.
Not short or long but kinda in the middle.
Hey, maybe you can stop there for a diddle.

Things could come and probably go.
Now the pair are together in tow.
A probably thing went out for a fling.
Together they thought maybe a dingaling.

Probably had a very long and hard day.
Things took that a whole other way.
Together they took and together they gave.
Probably things were done in a dark cave.

Now you've come to the final notation.
Or could it be that we have one more location.
That wasn't a question, just so you know.
Unlike, are you still stuck way back on the crow?

Now I really must hit delete or abort.
Either or may bring forth a final report.
By not doing or erasing I created today.
My, look what happens when ideas come to play.

Did you see the many ideas in there? Did it spur any at your lair? Some nut wanted me to prove I have ideas in my head. Yeah, they are rather brain dead. I don't need to prove it to anyone at all, but this post sure wanted to fly out here at our hall. So did you make sense of my little old sass? If no then it's just another day visiting my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Love In The Sky So Buy Buy Bye!

The cat loves this day. It is sooooo lovable at every bay. I know you believe every word I type. I just love all the hype. And if you believe any of that, you are clearly new to the blog of the cat.

Here we go.
Love to show.
Spread the love.
Free a dove.

Imprison first.
Quench that thirst.
Then release.
Try it with geese.

Whoops, lost an eye.
Oh me, oh my.
That is bad.
Can't love you, lad.

See ya never,
Says love's endeavor.
Whoops times two.
Blind and no love that's true.

But you got geese.
That beats fleece.
Although you may need some.
Time for another chum.

Buy buy buy.
Look at those flowers fly.
They last for days.
Then comes the death gaze.

Your thought died.
Your other cried.
Tears she sure shed.
You slipped and hit your head.

There goes eye two.
Love is blind to you.
Wait. Isn't that good?
Nope, bye bye at your hood.

Hit others with your stick.
You need that candy brick.
You grab and you rip.
Then, whoops, you trip.

Your lover let's you fall.
You're laughed at by all.
Then the candy stand falls on your head.
Buy, buy, bye, you are now dead.

Isn't love grand? You buy and do stupid shit across the land. All rather worthless in the end. The though that counts kinda trend? Bah, since when are doves pooping in a cage until you release great thoughts? So today candy is to be bought lots? As opposed to any other day that you can give it to a loved one at your bay? Give them teeth and gut rot. Yep, that is a mighty fine counting thought. Damn, the cat sure loved poking fun at you human mass. You always give plenty of material to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

The Slow Advance Has No High Chance!

The want to see and do can sure be out there to view. Movies just make crap up and let you fill your visual cup. But you want it now. You want things to wow. Whoops, screwed. Not sorry for the attitude.

Wake up today.
A surprise came your way.
You can now teleport.
It's right there on the news report.

Damn, that's grand.
Give me your hand.
Let's get reconstituted together.
Let's hope it we can weather.

But there is more.
Robots are out there galore.
They have replaced one and all.
They are plastered down every hall.

They teach and sing.
They sell the bling.
They shoot you in the head.
Skynet wants you dead.

The flying car.
It's not far.
As in it's today.
It came to play.

It flew and flew.
So come, buy two.
Maybe even three.
It is driverless just for thee.

The cure for everything.
It will make you sing.
Sing for your supper.
It is such an upper.

High on life.
For man and wife.
Or wife and man.
Forget how that ran.

Today a new tire took form.
The same as the norm.
Just a little more round.
It can easily be found.

Bah, back to teleportation.
Who needs safer transportation?
We can just zap and go.
Make one ho ho ho.

Do you expect things to magically appear overnight? And I'm a reindeer that can take flight. No surprises, mostly, will ever show with advancement anywhere. It will slowly creep out at some lair. Then creep out more and update at one's shore. Even your phone was once as big as a brick. Slowly got smaller to give the buttons a click. Notice it now big time, but not when slowly updating to a new chime. Slowly it shall come to pass. Guess I'll have to wait a few 100 years for them to teleport my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

The Hotline For You Here In View!

Are you ready for it? It is really the shit. It proves you are full of it. Yeah, like the already said shit. Geez, said that twice in a row. That is a no no. Bah! A crisis is in view. Umm...errr...time two!

Today was bad.
Today was had.
Stuff was done.
It was not fun.

I stubbed my toe.
That gets an oh no.
I need a hotline.
My toe isn't fine.

It's a crisis for me.
One that's easy to see.
Hello! Hello!
I ate bad jello.

It's a crisis I tell you.
It is soooo bad at our zoo.
Whoops, I meant mine.
I am single on the line.

That is awful too.
It just won't do.
A crisis of one.
What can be done?

Hello? Are you there?
Do you want me to swear?
I need you to give a fluck.
I was almost, sorta, maybe hit by a truck.

That was sooo bad.
No fun was surely had.
It is a crisis more than a tad.
Can't you tell that I'm really mad?

You hung up?
I spilled my cup.
It just released air.
A full blown crisis at my lair.

Did you catch that?
Didn't get my innuendo where I'm at?
Wait. Was it a pun?
Bah, a crisis in my fun.

What can I do?
I'm having more than a few.
Hello? Hello? Are you gone?
A blade of grass is out of place on my lawn.

Now isn't that a crisis or ten? Do you have such a crisis or three at your den? Do you ever use it when it is not? Some sure give it a go a lot. Sorry, a popped balloon isn't a crisis one bit. But you can dial 999 We Don't Give A Shit. Same goes for a crooked blade of grass. It isn't even a crisis, although maybe close, when Pat hasn't scooped what came out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, February 11, 2019

The Quiz So True That It's For You!

The cat has seen a few of these pop up. They sure could give one many a hiccup. They hide behind some nicey nice theme and then people fall for them on many a stream. What are they? Just sit and play.

First thing's first.
From best to worst.
Name this and that.
We want a stat.

Harmless for you.
So pick a few.
It's grand for me.
We'll know what ads to show thee.

Pick me! Pick me!
Let your friends see.
They want to know that you're a blank.
From unicorn to Star Wars character to tank.

What kind are you?
Just answer a few.
We'll surely tell.
Forget that you'll end up in ad hell.

There's no such place.
Fill in each space.
You're a super duper tanker.
Now no one will call you a wanker.

We've got you sucked.
Good and flucked.
So dig a little deeper.
Our happy faces make us not a creeper.

What's your middle name?
What's your claim to fame?
What's your mother's maiden name?
Who in life gets the blame?

What's your favorite food?
Tell your best moment and don't be rude.
What's your best skill?
Come on, this won't auto fill.

Where did you go to school?
First pet's name, you fool.
Put it in and show us all.
A few more things before we stall.

What's your...that's it.
We cracked that shit.
Your accounts are all ours now.
Thanks, and don't have a cow.

Have you ever seen any of those? They give a fake quiz pose. They ask questions that are meaningless as crap. They then add in some personal stuff about each lass or chap. They then use that for security question answers and password guessing. All from you doing a quiz or whatever and confessing. Don't you want to answer more quizzes today? You could be just like washed up celebrity of the week at your bay. Trust me, you're better off and safer sucking on the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.