Wednesday, January 9, 2019

A Conspiracy Chair So Sitter Beware!

Not referring to a babysitter or catsitter or dogsitter or housesitter. Does that make you bitter? Hey, they have an app for those things. What? You were too busy looking for flings? They have plenty of spots for that too. Just be careful when you bring home someone new.

Time for a meal.
Time to all gather.
Can be quite the ordeal.
Stay home we'd rather.

Unless home is it.
Like a game of tag.
Then mingle a bit.
Hope there's no lag.

A tock and a tick.
A flap and a yap.
Who invited this dick?
Do I still have a bear trap?

Slowly there.
Slowly nearing.
Sitter beware.
Butts a down rearing.

As in sitting.
Take up space.
Doing all but shitting.
An ass to chair embrace.

But hold on.
A few are out.
This is a con.
What's it about?

A ragged one.
It doesn't match.
Hurts each bun.
A back ache will hatch.

Odd one out.
Maybe odd two.
The chair is about,
But it is eww.

Now for the end.
It comes to task.
Door open, hit send.
What's that you ask?

Where did the chairs go?
Why weren't there enough?
Damned if I know.
Now scram and take your stuff.

Did you ever notice that? Still confused by the cat? Ever go to a bigger, biggish, big kinda gathering thing? Ever run out of chairs to fling? Get it now? I knew you would somehow. It seems that every table is always short a chair or two. Who makes that rule come due? Does Santa steal chairs from each sea? I guess he needs them to make toys for you and me. Did you ever have to sit on one of those "extra" chairs with your back mass? They sure can be uncomfortable to humans and maybe even my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

47 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Late is my fate
      Good morning Hank

      Delete
    2. Hank ain't late
      Like True's fate

      Delete
    3. Not enough chairs for everyone to be #1

      Delete
    4. That's 5th in a row
      Hopefully a smooth flow!

      Hank

      Delete
    5. Good evening True
      You are wide awake
      Hank is about to sleep!

      Hank

      Delete
    6. Not enough chairs indeed
      Just Hank's at our feed

      Delete
  2. I like to sit in a chair in the sun, that's makes me sunny in chair!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I guess that's why I avoid big gatherings. Except at church - and we have lots of nice, padded seats there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Padded seats are a win
      Not hard on the arse at one's bin

      Delete
  4. as a hostess for big family gatherings sometimes, lack of seating does keep folks from staying too long!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lol, we've had to use the office chairs that swivel a few times,

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hint: arrive early to get a chair (haha)
    but, if you get up someone will sit down
    and there you will stand with a frown

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That you will
      Better not have to pee as you sit still

      Delete
  7. Chairs do seem to be in short supply at dinner time, when there're guests:)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Just counted and we have 22 chairs here
    never used them all at one time
    I don't think we would have room for all if we did
    and would have to squeeze around each other like dimes

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, that is a lot of chairs
      More then we have stairs

      Delete
  9. Being a small person, I usually end up with the stool.

    ReplyDelete
  10. orlin N cassie...last thanx bee givin we had noe chairz... sew we sat rite up on de tabull....knot next two de burd tho mind ewe ....☺☺♥♥

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have been to gatherings like that
    I hate those chairs and secretly whisper, "drat!"
    well I think some worse let me tell you
    I'd rather sit on the throne in their loo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but that could be bad
      Many others may use it a tad

      Delete
  12. I went to a wedding last summer that clearly stated on the invite to bring your own chair (though it wasn't a bring your own beer event as they did provide that at least lol). Yes, it was a big old hillbilly wedding, but at least we knew ahead of time chairs wouldn't be provided.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hillbilly wedding with no chairs and beer
      Sounds about right when hillbillies are near

      Delete
  13. We always had a piano bench, and some buckets. But with a big dinner no one sat much.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sit on the floor
    the butt hurts even more.

    ReplyDelete
  15. We don't use the chairs at my place
    We use the couch which is the best space

    ReplyDelete
  16. At a meeting I went to on Monday, we had too many chairs.
    So we moved the extras over by the stairs.
    And went on eating and talking and having fun.
    Each and every one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Extra is better than less
      Like a game of chair chess

      Delete
  17. A Conspiracy Chair So Sitter Beware!
    Not to be caught standing in despair
    Can bring your own beer
    But a chair a bit queer
    There are things to accept as a 'dare'

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
  18. Enjoyed the read Pat although late in commenting.

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  19. When my family would gather, we'd have to use everything, including the steps as seats.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Steps can work
      Hard on the arse though so not a great perk

      Delete
  20. I rarely go to a big party, but I go to a number of big family gatherings. We perch anywhere and share chairs, if necessary. What is worse than a bad chair is having to sit at the "kids table!" LOL Have a good one, Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol but kids can be more fun
      Unless there is a super germy one

      Delete
  21. We ran out of chairs at a faculty meeting recently. I was glad I got there early. ;)

    ReplyDelete