Thursday, February 28, 2019

The Timely Creation Of Gratification!

The cat wants to be gratified today. Yeah, I want it and lots of pay. Actually, I will just take the latter. The first really doesn't matter. If so, we'd end up like a human mass. No thanks says my little rhyming ass.

A profile creation.
Tune to many a station.
A bunch of elation.
Ten second duration.

Read my dictation.
Effort of pre-school graduation.
But read it in jubilation.
It's my character limitation.

I want the gratification.
It is my simplification.
So make a recommendation.
About me, you ugly dalmatian.

How dare you go all penalization.
It was a great 10 word mobilization.
You should start an idolization.
This leads to my inauguration.

Don't bring irritation.
This has no valuation.
Not even an approximation.
Just make it a triple visitation.

Bring the whole population.
From kings to sanitation.
I need the gratification.
I give great information.

My awesome two word isolation,
Truly has to cause impregnation.
Wrap yourself up in my occupation.
I'm that good at an explanation.

Truth in two word documentation.
Or maybe three is no exasperation.
I have the best communication.
So come and give me your cooperation.

This is an amplification.
Four words create alienation.
So I'll use an abbreviation.
Must avoid over saturation.

So enjoy the presentation.
Give my your undying integration.
Be like an infestation.
My self gratification has no expiration.

Are you a self gratification nut? Are you in a me me me now rut? Pffft says the cat. Your pitiful two words can be buried with my scat. The clip show of your life gets no love from me. We hate clip shows at our sea. If you can't put in the work, then pfffft is the perk. Did the cat offend the self gratification human mass? Pffft if so says my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Down We Go With An Increasing Flow!

This will drag you all down today. Not in the emotional way. Or the physical way. Hmm does that work with what we say? Beats the heck out of me. I guess we shall see.

Here comes the nagging.
What's with the dragging?
Why is it here?
Good the internet is near.

Dragging is to drag.
Hmm that raises a red flag.
Or maybe the flag is blue.
Whatever are we to do?

Dragging is caused by a hand.
My, that is sure grand.
I guess we are now in the know.
Wait. Where does this go?

Man dragged to chick flick.
Now that is just sick.
Who would do such a thing?
Dragging leads to a fling.

A fling from dragging.
Things may need bagging.
If not you may catch a disease.
It is far worth than fleas.

Drag yourself to the doctor if you have any of these.
Red spots, white spots, black spots, or are impacted by the breeze.
Keep dragging the scroll thingy down.
Oh look, this ought to make you frown.

You may have dragged in the plague.
The symptoms are vague,
But you could die tomorrow.
Oh no. Fill yourself with sorrow.

Woman dragged to death by bear.
What? That has to be rare.
Why would that come up?
Did she treat it like a pup?

Bears drag humans away to their den.
They get women and men.
Don't go into the woods at night.
That is also when owls take flight.

Owls drag things to drop on your head.
Yeah, that was really really said.
Bigfoot gets dragged into this too.
Damn, my next post is almost due.

Ever end up like that? Look for one thing and then down into the bowels of the internet you go splat? Down, down, down you go. Then ten hours flew by at your show. One little thing can sure lead to a whole bunch of crap. The internet can make all a sap. We'll stick to a rhyming pass. It works so much better for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Sure Can't Halt Good Old Fault!

The cat wrote that title today. Actually on April 4, 2018 at our bay. But that is close enough. Hey, being that far ahead is tough. You have to remember when it was done. Or not, but I gave it a run. Yep, me. Now on to thee.

This was done.
Done a ton.
Had to be so.
That's what I know.

But it was wrong?
Bah, sing a new song.
Sing what's been sung.
Go ahead and pop a lung.

It wasn't me.
It was thee.
Or maybe him.
Maybe her on a limb.

I couldn't do that.
I'm far too fat.
Or maybe it's skinny.
What makes me winny?

Screwed up a word?
Oh, how absurd.
It was not me.
The internet had it to see.

It was just there.
So don't give me that stare.
I never typed it.
The computer did that shit.

It just made me swear.
So don't pull out your hair.
None of this is my fault.
Don't come here and halt.

Go to that guy.
He is ever so sly.
He looked at me wrong.
It is his fault because he's from Hong Kong.

It has to do with the jet.
That is a safe bet.
Or maybe the plane.
Or maybe some scary lane.

It all came from there.
Or maybe life isn't fair.
Life is a constant assault.
That makes it not my fault.

Don't you love those people? Could blame it on an alien church steeple. But nope, never ever them who did it. Not one little bit. Even when caught in the act. Not their fault is still their default pact. We tend to ignore and/or make fun of such nuts. They really end up talking out their butts. For this post I don't even have to blame Cass. It all came from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, February 25, 2019

The Useless Breaks In For A Spin!

Actually that is wrong. I should sing a different song. No breaking is had. You just open the door and let them into your pad. You do it every single day. Then some whine in dismay. But you let them in. So take it on the chin. Or maybe the ass. Now it's time for our pass.

Home is the best.
It's where you find zest.
Where you can relax.
Just pay the property tax.

If not, bye bye.
Could make you cry.
But we've sure been there.
No need for a repeat affair.

Who would it affair with though?
Damned if I know.
Let some clickbait solve that.
Oh look, solved by some gnat.

You look and you look.
They aren't a crook.
Collecting data on you.
Maybe watching you too.

Maybe not full on gawker,
But acting just like a stalker.
Yet you go back for more.
You just open the door.

Ads and trash.
Have a bash.
Clicks and clutter.
You need that butter.

News and leaks.
My, a girl speaks.
Or maybe a guy.
Oh me, oh oh oh my.

Home is the best.
But where's my rest?
Where's my time?
Oh look, some fool dropped a dime.

Has pics and all.
He can't stand tall.
Look at him bend.
This can't be the end.

Neighbor's at the door.
You want to throw your trash at my shore?
You want to gawk at me?
Get away, you are as freaky as can be.

Did you ever realize that? Boy, you humans really get eye rolls from the cat. You don't let people throw trash or gawk into your home, yet you allow plenty of both to roam. You have trash in heaps that wastes time by the ton. Then you whine that you have none. But really you are just allowing trash and gawking. At least there is no neighbor forcing you to do any talking. On such nonsense we'll hit block and take a pass. Trash of any kind bothers the OCD of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, February 24, 2019

And That Makes Ten As In A Decade At Our Den!

Can you believe the cat is in double digits now? I'll soon be as old as Belva and unable to raise a single eyebrow. Then I'll be too old to give a shit about not giving a shit. Hmm that may be worth it. What can the cat do today? We shall see while I turn 10 at my bay.

Does Pat think this a joke?
He allowed in this bloke.
He is even playing with my fish.
That wasn't my birthday wish.

Cassie on top.
This has to stop.
Why do I get the couch?
Yeah, she can be a grouch.

Now I'm shunning.
Soon I'll be running.
Look! Here comes my gift.
I'm off some swift.

Bah. That's not it.
I don't want a diaper full of umm shit.
You can have the old toy.
We scratched out all the joy.

My gift is being delivered to me.
Bah! Two poop machines came to be.
This just can't be good.
Where's that gift in my hood? 

A new cat tower.
Hey, this isn't your hour.
Get off of my tower.
I'll drown you in the shower.

You're still exploring.
Don't you start snoring.
I'll fix you.
And that blonde one too.

Yeah, I'm here.
You better peer.
Get off of it.
You don't get one bit.

Another in my space.
Cassie is giving a warm embrace.
Or maybe a cold one.
But she's not making him run.

Those laser eyes don't scare me.
On you I'll take a pee.
It is my new tower.
I'm the cat of the hour.

Bah, Cassie's in on it too.
A birthday conspiracy at our zoo.
And she tries to look so grand.
I'll bury her in the litter sand.

Hmph, stupid other cats.
I hope they choke on gnats.
Took my birthday gift.
 At least I'm not too old to be swift.

No, no choking on gnats came due. Don't want the SPCA after our zoo. But how dare Pat buy a cat house for those guys. How does he thinks that flies? And Cassie betrayed me and joined them on it. What is this shit? Is 10 the April Fools birthday? I'm too old for this shit anyway. The cat will now  go pass some birthday gas. Maybe they'll choke a little bit on what comes out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Could Go Into A Funk With The Sunk!

The cat watches you go here and there. Many humans sure pass my lair. Some with this or that. They are all sunk to the cat. But more comes to play. I guess pirates are everywhere with booty to pay.

Sunk like a rock.
Now comes the shock.
Or maybe it's the burn.
You haven't a return.

You wait and wait.
When's the date?
Isn't it magic?
No? That's tragic.

Sunk it all.
Could head for a fall.
Like Humpty Dumpty's splash.
Except he still makes cash.

Yours has been sunk.
It just went kerplunk.
Thrown in the sea?
Beats little old me.

But it has sunk.
Not in a trunk.
Maybe actually the trunk.
Or on an animated skunk.

The costs are sunk.
That desk can plunk.
Like head meets it.
Sunk has been green lit.

Or would that be red?
This of that in bed.
Maybe it's in the black.
Still suffered a sunk attack.

Should that be sinking?
Sit there while thinking.
Or stand if you wish.
Those sunk costs can swish.

Down down down they go.
Davy Jones' Locker in tow.
Or would that be sunk?
Maybe some sort of ocean slam dunk?

Give it a goodbye kiss.
Costs gone into the abyss.
Sunk in a majestic sea.
Oh look, another fee.

Why would costs sink? Did that make you think? Do you throw money down the drain to make them sink? Hmmm double word play may bring you to the brink. Don't you love sunk costs too? Never get them back at your zoo. May as well be a majestic abyss. Do fees make you hiss? May have to talk to the upper brass. Feel free to sink costs into my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, February 22, 2019

The Explanation For This May Bring Bliss!

The cat will explain away today. Explain what you may say? Or maybe you'll just think it. Either way, we'll explain in a bit. A bit means in a minute or two. Depends on how fast you read what's in view.

Did or done.
Fail or fun.
Done and did.
Got or rid.

A roundabout.
An in or out.
An out or in.
An sure got a spin.

Thumbs or diss.
A little dismiss.
Bleak or bliss.
What's up with this?

This to thunk.
Junk in the trunk.
This to that.
Can't fool a cat.

Fool or fooled.
Foolee retooled.
Grin or stammer.
So goes the grammar.

This was this.
That was bliss.
This was that.
Dig to drat.

This came after.
Hole or rafter.
Up or down.
This from a town.

Town or city.
This took pity.
Went with city.
Thanks, old bitty.

This was this.
Smack or kiss.
Lips or ass.
My, that's crass.

This was thunk.
Now in a funk.
This was just this.
A post not to miss.

Did you get this or that? Was this the only thing shown by the cat? Wasn't that long? This sure came on strong. All of that to say that this is this. My, sure a post you can't miss. Don't you love long-winded explanations at your sea? Why use two words when 1000000000000 could come from thee? That is sure to impress the singing bass. You may just get an eye roll from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, February 21, 2019

A Default Way Day By Day!

The settings are out. They swim like trout. The follow and swim. My, the settings are dim. Maybe out on a limb? Ferris Bueller may think that dim. Or was it his sister? Hey, he wasn't in Twister.

The computer comes.
You beat the drums.
Brand spankin new.
Look, some adware for you.

Default at start.
Taken to heart.
A full adware cart.
Wanna buy a pop tart?

Type and find.
Ads have a mind.
All there in view.
The default of you.

Speaking of which.
What's that twitch?
You don't like my spelling?
You just had to go telling?

The default of you.
It just came due.
A default setting.
There's more I'm betting.

A gambling way.
Bye bye to your pay.
Got more and go.
A default heigh ho.

The adware is there.
It can still stare.
It gave you that site.
Gamble all night.

The double default.
Two in one vault.
You and it.
One doesn't give a shit.

The default of you.
Whatever will you do?
The adware gets a delete.
You're stuck on repeat.

Is that not neat?
Brought it back, sweet!
That time for real.
Default grammar setting is the real deal.

Do you ever look at your default settings? Would it upset you if I used gettings? If so, I just got it for the third time. Or at least the second with my rhyme. Any default setting stand out for you about you? Don't you hate when adware comes with any computer that's new? I think my default setting is stuck on sass. It sure pops out of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

The Glitch Dwell For A Spell!

Not going all Halloween Nazi with her voodoo. She can take her spells and go boo hoo. Or maybe boo boo? Both sound rather kiddie of you. That could be a glitch. Does it make you itch?

Whether mate or batter,
What does it matter?
When it comes to switches,
There will always be glitches.

A swing and a miss.
That sure ain't bliss.
My use of ain't.
Some may faint.

Or just stare.
Or maybe glare.
Or maybe both.
That shows growth.

Growth of a wrinkle.
Not down where you tinkle.
Hey, it rhymed.
A glitch that's timed.

The timing was on.
The glitch ain't gone.
Ain't and timing.
At least I'm not rhyming.

Or talking about the weather.
Hey, brings all together.
Maybe that's why I'm apart.
There's no weather in my heart.

Hmm a post there.
The weather to care.
Or maybe just stare.
Are we going with glare?

Off topic a bit.
Bah, I can handle it.
Handle without touching.
That could be hard muching.

Muching to suching.
A nerve I'm touching.
Touching without reaching.
Do you get what I'm teaching?

Or maybe what's taught.
For I hit the spot.
Hit without hitting.
Like standing while sitting.

Did you catch that? A glitch or three by the cat. Does the cat dwell? Nah, he just gives a what the hell. Or if kids are around he uses heck. Have many a thing in our deck. Of course it may slip. Whoops, a glitch trip. Still no worry here. No need to peer. Another for glare and stare. When glitches happen do you care? Do you dwell and dwell and dwell? So you fell. Get up after a quick roll in the grass. It works wonders for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

The Not Really Embrace Of The Race!

There is a race going on. One that has to start at the crack of dawn. If dawn even has a crack. But we did that at our shack. We did a race or two too. Damn, what are we to do? has it all.
You'll now stand tall.
Tall and fat and wide.
In your blah blah blah take pride.

Damn, wrong channel.
Next I'll be selling flannel. 
Flannel with a little cat hair.
Could be a hit at my lair.

Hmm, the idea stuck.
Come and spend a buck.
Buy it now now now.
It will really wow.

Sorry, can't ship yet.
Don't blame this pet.
You ordered the thing.
You'll get it long after the cha-ching.

I just wanted to sell.
Sell and be ever swell.
You bought and I win.
That sure isn't a sin.

Go do yoga and stay calm.
Come on, move that palm.
Now bend that tush.
Breath in and push.

Hmm mixed up there?
Damn that cat hair.
It got in your face.
But continue the yoga race.

Do Warrior Three.
Faster, faster for me.
I have to beat thee.
I beat you to Tree.

Let's watch the movie soon.
Let's watch it at noon.
You and I in the same spot.
We'll sit on the same cot.

I'm watching it faster.
You're slower than drying plaster.
Does plaster even dry?
Bah, I won the race on the first try.

Do you race when there is no race? Do you watch a movie faster with any embrace? Can that actually be done? Fast forward doesn't actually count as watching what's spun. Doesn't yoga and race kinda not mix? Is that an oxymoron playing tricks? I'll let you humans race the stupid things that come to pass. So much better just to relax my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, February 18, 2019

A Bubble Of First Just May Burst!

The cat is the first to do this rhyme. Maybe another will do it sometime. Heck, maybe I'll remake it one day. Yeah, and I'll become a rhyming dog that always wants to play.

First out of the gate.
A fine horse racing fate.
But still may not matter.
Especially if your horse is fatter.

Just had to say it.
It popped in for bit.
And so it shall flow.
I may be the first, you know.

First is the best.
It beats all the rest.
No one ever won coming latter.
Who wants to be the second batter?

That's latter not later.
Don't be some kind of rater.
But if you must quench such thirst,
You could be some kind of first.

The kind is up to you.
The some comes with it too.
That is just so you know.
Must reap what you sow.

Sew me a line.
Works for the feline.
A cheat rhyme and word play.
I'll get damned to Hell today.

Won't be the first time.
My, that's just a crime.
But would it be worse than first?
Depends on the outburst.

Now we've got it.
First is always a hit.
Damn, were still wrong.
I need a search engine to play along.

Google, the biggest and best.
Didn't come first with its zest.
Amazon the store for one and all.
Sorry, wasn't in at first call.

Farcebook getting social with media and stuff.
Whoops, wasn't first to show such fluff.
First may just make you smart and poor.
Don't you just want that forevermore?

Doesn't always pay to be first out of the gate. Have you ever wanted to be first and found the same fate? First left you in second's dust? Or maybe in 50th people trust. You just never know what place will strike. Hey, if it is a blatant rip off a lawsuit can take a hike. That's take a hike in and not out. What was that about? Yeah, you aren't the first to ask that of my sass. And you probably won't be the last when it comes to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Time To Get Ready And Bring Along Steady!

I will time this at a steady pace. I can do it even with a one hand embrace. Been doing so for years, so it is rather simple. Kinda like making a dimple. Hey, it rhymed. Smile and prove what I chimed.

Fast and faster.
Holes in plaster.
Missing a link.
No time to think.

Thought and done.
Nope, wasn't spun.
Missed and missed.
No time for a list.

That's kinda fast.
Or so says last.
A pat on the back.
First they do lack.

So comes the slow.
That much you know.
Then you get ready.
Next comes the steady.

Now mix and match.
A duo you can hatch.
Take things that way.
Slow and steady at play.

It's surely be said.
Spoken and fed.
A giant that's sleeping.
In your head it goes creeping.

I'll get it done.
I'll make it spun.
I'll have it there.
In by a hair.

Or hare if you're a rabbit.
Don't make this a habit.
Stay on track and on pace.
Slow and steady you embrace.

Let the weeks tick.
Let the months stick.
Let the years flow.
Slow and steady I crow.

A duo that lost.
One has been tossed.
Slow forgot about steady.
You're dead and not ready.

Do you ever use the slow and steady as an excuse at your sea? I've heard it said many a time to me. But then they forget the steady part. They only take slow to heart. Then slow turns to never and they whine when they never finished their endeavor. Maybe the steady part has a part to play? That may be why the two things they say. Hey, I just wanted to point that out with this pass. Steady may give slow the shaft when it comes to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, February 16, 2019

A Drive To Worse May Bring A Curse!

The cat doesn't even have to leave the house. It can even be seen by the beady eyes of a mouse. There are many human drivers that suck. Doesn't matter if they are driving car, tank, or truck.

Idiots here, Idiots there.
I'm a cat, so I don't care.
But you sit and you swear.
You may even pull out a death glare.

A finger may flip.
You may run your lip.
Or lips if you have two.
Or you may sit and stew.

Stir that pot nice.
Throw in some spice.
How'd we get to cooking?
Sorry, we can't take your booking.

Now that that's clear,
We'll get back to your peer.
That is glance for those slow.
Wait! Glare, just so you know.

They are the worst.
You're about to burst.
Drivers behind and in front suck.
Those side ones drive like some fluck.

They are all it.
Here I sputter and spit.
All are the worst.
I really may burst.

A repeat in rhyme.
A spit and sputter time.
A repeat of that.
Chew the same fat.

Must sure be tender.
Does it have a gender?
Don't sit there and choke.
Still no bookings there, bloke.

Are you saying it's me?
I'm making things bad for thee?
I'm the worst at my sea?
My, you're on quite the spree.

Now what about you?
What did you just do?
Can you point to a driver that's better?
Oh, you'd rather write a hate-filled letter.

Have you ever noticed that? You humans sure can throw a spat. Yes, there are many bad drivers out there worse than you, but have you ever picked out the better ones in your view? Or do you just focus on the bad? Hmm is there a deeper meaning to be had? The cat will let you think that up in mass. I'll now go back to watching the cars zoom by the house of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, February 15, 2019

A Prove It Where You Sit!

Are you ready to prove things today? Seems many a human declare it at their bay. We only thought the tiny humans did it. Turns out, the big ones use it for a fit. Pffft says the cat. Pelt them with scat.

When it comes to ideas I have quite a few.
No, I will not sit here and prove it to you.
Don't choke on your phlegm or that snot.
Both are probably from the same lot.

Probably comes with a whole can of worms.
That too can mean a few different terms.
But probably has so many different things.
Things sure tops it with many a flings.

A word can fling if you shout it out.
Don't sit there and think all about.
Now I have you in quite the mood.
With my lost it, you may feel quite nude.

Nude well clothed may be hard to swallow.
That too could turn out rather hollow.
But if it has heft and a distance to go,
Make sure you add ketchup or mustard or crow.

That last is more my wishful thinking each day.
Do I think? Hey, don't interrupt what I say.
Saying and thinking are two separate words.
Both get used as one though by brain dead turds.

Why I'm not stopping and still going on,
Could be because you are into a con.
Not short or long but kinda in the middle.
Hey, maybe you can stop there for a diddle.

Things could come and probably go.
Now the pair are together in tow.
A probably thing went out for a fling.
Together they thought maybe a dingaling.

Probably had a very long and hard day.
Things took that a whole other way.
Together they took and together they gave.
Probably things were done in a dark cave.

Now you've come to the final notation.
Or could it be that we have one more location.
That wasn't a question, just so you know.
Unlike, are you still stuck way back on the crow?

Now I really must hit delete or abort.
Either or may bring forth a final report.
By not doing or erasing I created today.
My, look what happens when ideas come to play.

Did you see the many ideas in there? Did it spur any at your lair? Some nut wanted me to prove I have ideas in my head. Yeah, they are rather brain dead. I don't need to prove it to anyone at all, but this post sure wanted to fly out here at our hall. So did you make sense of my little old sass? If no then it's just another day visiting my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Love In The Sky So Buy Buy Bye!

The cat loves this day. It is sooooo lovable at every bay. I know you believe every word I type. I just love all the hype. And if you believe any of that, you are clearly new to the blog of the cat.

Here we go.
Love to show.
Spread the love.
Free a dove.

Imprison first.
Quench that thirst.
Then release.
Try it with geese.

Whoops, lost an eye.
Oh me, oh my.
That is bad.
Can't love you, lad.

See ya never,
Says love's endeavor.
Whoops times two.
Blind and no love that's true.

But you got geese.
That beats fleece.
Although you may need some.
Time for another chum.

Buy buy buy.
Look at those flowers fly.
They last for days.
Then comes the death gaze.

Your thought died.
Your other cried.
Tears she sure shed.
You slipped and hit your head.

There goes eye two.
Love is blind to you.
Wait. Isn't that good?
Nope, bye bye at your hood.

Hit others with your stick.
You need that candy brick.
You grab and you rip.
Then, whoops, you trip.

Your lover let's you fall.
You're laughed at by all.
Then the candy stand falls on your head.
Buy, buy, bye, you are now dead.

Isn't love grand? You buy and do stupid shit across the land. All rather worthless in the end. The though that counts kinda trend? Bah, since when are doves pooping in a cage until you release great thoughts? So today candy is to be bought lots? As opposed to any other day that you can give it to a loved one at your bay? Give them teeth and gut rot. Yep, that is a mighty fine counting thought. Damn, the cat sure loved poking fun at you human mass. You always give plenty of material to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

The Slow Advance Has No High Chance!

The want to see and do can sure be out there to view. Movies just make crap up and let you fill your visual cup. But you want it now. You want things to wow. Whoops, screwed. Not sorry for the attitude.

Wake up today.
A surprise came your way.
You can now teleport.
It's right there on the news report.

Damn, that's grand.
Give me your hand.
Let's get reconstituted together.
Let's hope it we can weather.

But there is more.
Robots are out there galore.
They have replaced one and all.
They are plastered down every hall.

They teach and sing.
They sell the bling.
They shoot you in the head.
Skynet wants you dead.

The flying car.
It's not far.
As in it's today.
It came to play.

It flew and flew.
So come, buy two.
Maybe even three.
It is driverless just for thee.

The cure for everything.
It will make you sing.
Sing for your supper.
It is such an upper.

High on life.
For man and wife.
Or wife and man.
Forget how that ran.

Today a new tire took form.
The same as the norm.
Just a little more round.
It can easily be found.

Bah, back to teleportation.
Who needs safer transportation?
We can just zap and go.
Make one ho ho ho.

Do you expect things to magically appear overnight? And I'm a reindeer that can take flight. No surprises, mostly, will ever show with advancement anywhere. It will slowly creep out at some lair. Then creep out more and update at one's shore. Even your phone was once as big as a brick. Slowly got smaller to give the buttons a click. Notice it now big time, but not when slowly updating to a new chime. Slowly it shall come to pass. Guess I'll have to wait a few 100 years for them to teleport my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

The Hotline For You Here In View!

Are you ready for it? It is really the shit. It proves you are full of it. Yeah, like the already said shit. Geez, said that twice in a row. That is a no no. Bah! A crisis is in view. Umm...errr...time two!

Today was bad.
Today was had.
Stuff was done.
It was not fun.

I stubbed my toe.
That gets an oh no.
I need a hotline.
My toe isn't fine.

It's a crisis for me.
One that's easy to see.
Hello! Hello!
I ate bad jello.

It's a crisis I tell you.
It is soooo bad at our zoo.
Whoops, I meant mine.
I am single on the line.

That is awful too.
It just won't do.
A crisis of one.
What can be done?

Hello? Are you there?
Do you want me to swear?
I need you to give a fluck.
I was almost, sorta, maybe hit by a truck.

That was sooo bad.
No fun was surely had.
It is a crisis more than a tad.
Can't you tell that I'm really mad?

You hung up?
I spilled my cup.
It just released air.
A full blown crisis at my lair.

Did you catch that?
Didn't get my innuendo where I'm at?
Wait. Was it a pun?
Bah, a crisis in my fun.

What can I do?
I'm having more than a few.
Hello? Hello? Are you gone?
A blade of grass is out of place on my lawn.

Now isn't that a crisis or ten? Do you have such a crisis or three at your den? Do you ever use it when it is not? Some sure give it a go a lot. Sorry, a popped balloon isn't a crisis one bit. But you can dial 999 We Don't Give A Shit. Same goes for a crooked blade of grass. It isn't even a crisis, although maybe close, when Pat hasn't scooped what came out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, February 11, 2019

The Quiz So True That It's For You!

The cat has seen a few of these pop up. They sure could give one many a hiccup. They hide behind some nicey nice theme and then people fall for them on many a stream. What are they? Just sit and play.

First thing's first.
From best to worst.
Name this and that.
We want a stat.

Harmless for you.
So pick a few.
It's grand for me.
We'll know what ads to show thee.

Pick me! Pick me!
Let your friends see.
They want to know that you're a blank.
From unicorn to Star Wars character to tank.

What kind are you?
Just answer a few.
We'll surely tell.
Forget that you'll end up in ad hell.

There's no such place.
Fill in each space.
You're a super duper tanker.
Now no one will call you a wanker.

We've got you sucked.
Good and flucked.
So dig a little deeper.
Our happy faces make us not a creeper.

What's your middle name?
What's your claim to fame?
What's your mother's maiden name?
Who in life gets the blame?

What's your favorite food?
Tell your best moment and don't be rude.
What's your best skill?
Come on, this won't auto fill.

Where did you go to school?
First pet's name, you fool.
Put it in and show us all.
A few more things before we stall.

What's your...that's it.
We cracked that shit.
Your accounts are all ours now.
Thanks, and don't have a cow.

Have you ever seen any of those? They give a fake quiz pose. They ask questions that are meaningless as crap. They then add in some personal stuff about each lass or chap. They then use that for security question answers and password guessing. All from you doing a quiz or whatever and confessing. Don't you want to answer more quizzes today? You could be just like washed up celebrity of the week at your bay. Trust me, you're better off and safer sucking on the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, February 10, 2019

The Sense Shows The Dense!

The cat shakes his head day by day. The humans sure do stupid things from whenever to May. That is every day, if you didn't guess. I can confuse, I confess. Now on with the show. The dumb have to go do something stupid, you know.

Common sense isn't sense.
Do you need extra cents?
I can give about ten.
That's all you get at our den.

Common is squat.
That's said a lot.
Sense is all that remains.
That too boards trains.

Then left with blank.
No gas in the tank.
A dead end street.
A fool in defeat.

No sense is had.
Not good or bad.
Just brain dead acts.
Now there are facts.

No facts to be had.
Damn, that makes nuts mad.
15% of nuts are bad for you.
See? Ass pulled stats at our zoo.

Take it as truth.
Go jump a toll booth.
Can that be done?
Sure it was tried by someone.

But back we go.
A mixing show.
A matching one.
No, the TV wasn't spun.

Some are so slow.
That we sure know.
But some are fast.
Still in the same cast.

So make the switch.
Scratch that itch.
From common sense at play,
To common acts day by day.

That sure is it.
Common acts followed by a fit.
The dumb cry and cry.
The even sit and wonder why.

So is common acts better? Seems to fit to the letter. For stupid things are done a ton. People believe whatever the internet has spun. So it is as common as can be. They are acts done by such nuts at each sea. There are plenty of them out there. Follow the logic at my lair? If not you may be part of the common act class. That could leave you in the cross hairs of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, February 9, 2019

A Favorite Stop Sure Not To Flop!

Will a favorite post come due? Is this it at our zoo? Well you just never know. Do you though? Can no and never mix? Do they do weird tricks? Beats the heck out of me. It isn't a favorite of we.

Time to go.
Time to play.
Make a show.
What the hey.

Hey or hay?
Beats little old we.
I like hey.
A favorite of me.

So that is right.
Right all the way.
Like a towing sight.
Tow the line, okay?

Whoops, it's wrong.
But it's a favorite thing.
Toe can't play along.
Send it to fling in spring.

This is the best.
This movie tops all.
It has such zest.
A favorite call.

You hated it?
That can't be.
It is the shit.
You have to agree with me.

Favorite = right.
That is so true.
I mean soooooooooo with spite.
So give it another view.

Show it's the best.
It is top notch.
Say it with zest.
Say it or I'll kick your crotch.

A favorite thing to do.
So it should be allowed.
Don't stick it in view.
I'll make sure you draw a crowd.

Your drawing skills suck.
I have a favorite color scheme.
Yours is like some odd fluck.
Favorite only works in my mind's stream.

Are you one of those? Do you strike a favorite pose? Do you deny all else because it isn't your favorite thing? Know any favorite dingaling? Either or is bad. Just so you know from our pad. At least the dingaling we can push out onto the grass. I'll then hope they step in something from my favorite little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, February 8, 2019

Should I Care At My Lair?

The cat rolls his eyes more than a bit. You humans sure talk about such stupid umm err well shit. The weather is one that we've done before. Over and over and over you talk about that crap at every shore. But what about more? Trust me, it's there galore.

Go out and do.
Run into a few.
A few becomes many.
Can't avoid any.

Always something to say.
Said many a way.
The weather is...who cares.
Rather have blank stares.

My wire is broke.
Like I care, bloke.
My house got hit.
Like I give a umm spit.

My lawn won't grow.
Why do I need to know?
My house is old.
And I need to be told?

My leg hurts a bit.
Maybe stand where you sit.
Or sit where you stand.
Bah, who cares in my land.

My door bell is busted.
In door bells you trusted?
Bah, stop asking.
Can't fall for stupid tasking.

My dog likes to play.
I can see the landmine foray.
My window is scratched.
Add some more so they're batched.

I put this here sign up yesterday.
Their is something about its display.
Yeah, and I just repeated what that something is there.
Did you figure it out with time to spare?

Now I'm doing it.
I added a question bit.
Did you really care?
This is like some strange affair.

I remember you.
Umm good for you.
I even cheat rhymed.
The end has chimed.

Do you avoid certain people who are near? Do you pretend to seem interested when they are bending your ear? The cat starts to back away. I have no time to see that you chopped down a tree at your bay. Woweee, it is impressive though. As impressive as a remake of some old show. That equals nothing at all. Which way did it fall? Ugg, I don't want to know any answer to this question mass. I need to hide under the bed with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, February 7, 2019

Go Figure It Out With This Shout!

The cat will give you math today. That is what you humans say. Or it comes from it. One plus one equals such shit. Did you think I'd say two? Go figure at your zoo.

Time to shine.
Time to win.
Things shall align.
Sure not a sin.

But away you spin.
Away you pluck.
Can't do it in.
What the fluck?

Figures you'd fail.
Figures you'd faint.
So hit the trail.
A winner you ain't.

Bad grammar award.
Did I just win?
I'll have it bronzed and stored.
Eat your heart out Rin Tin Tin.

Not literally though.
Better off eating crap.
Go figure Mr. Crow.
You're such a sap.

Figured that out?
You're up on me.
I have no idea what it's about.
Of course I can lie to thee.

Or maybe lay or laid.
Go figure my shout.
The gutter may trade.
Had to be let out.

Go figure is it.
Or some other shit.
Don't hiss and spit.
Just go figure it.

Add and subtract.
Multiply and divide.
Get in on the act.
Stand and show pride.

Random thoughts pop.
Or they just fade.
So ends this crop.
Go figure the trade.

Did you go figure yet? Are you a user of it and many an other figure set? Go figure, figures, figure it out, figuring things out, and so much more to shout. I figure I'll end there though. I don't want you to figure out things and go. A backwards play. Figuring sure throws one in disarray. Do you have a calculator for life's sass? If not, I figure you'll get plenty from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

The Forgotten Thing Has A Fling!

Out we go.
In we come.
Both in tow.
A familiar drum.

Things stay in.
Things stay out.
Lose to win.
Win to shout.

Lost in out.
Lost in mind.
What's that about?
What a find.

Something created.
Something found.
Stand quite elated.
Stand quite profound.

Forgot to do.
Forgot to say.
Both hold true.
Both have sway.

Used an old.
Old became new.
A tale to be told.
A new work in view.

New from old.
That took place.
So stand bold.
No need to pace.

Pace the mind.
Let it stop.
Now you find.
Now you top.

Top of the heap.
Top of the pile.
That same kinda leap.
So turn that dial.

Forgotten at last.
Remembered at play.
A thing of the past.
A future type way.

Did you think I forgot which pic to use? That would probably amuse. Nope, just showing that even forgetting can get things done. Or pretend forgetting with my run. So you forget at your sea. So you remember later what had to come to be. Don't fret in the middle. Get in there and fiddle. Or maybe just diddle. Hey, never said which middle. Do you forget and then fret for hours on end? That isn't a good trend. We'll continue on with each pass. So much better for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Crap From Crap Across The Map!

This will be a real ass opener today. Hmm that sounds so bad to say. We won't go there with this show. Maybe that is how so many heads get up there though. Could be. Right. On with it at our sea.

You feel the urge.
The need to purge.
Oh my...insert curse.
Hey, we've done worse.

We're going there.
A flow with hair.
Unless you shave.
We hear it's the rave.

Smooth as a baby.
We don't want to know.
But back it will grow.

Where were we?
Right, not the need to pee.
Of course that can come.
Like walking and chewing gum.

So you do.
More than two.
Nope, don't count.
Doesn't matter the amount.

You just do and do.
The point of the loo.
And then it comes.
The addition to bums.

The ass wipe is ready.
You wipe it steady.
You may get it all.
You may not at your hall.

But that's on you.
Or cheap ass wipe too.
But it might be better.
Does that make you a fretter?

Nope, not a word.
But we made it be heard.
Unlike the chemicals in your ass wipe.
There are actually many a type.

Who knew that?
Sure not that cat.
Can lead to health crap for some people too.
My, what are humans to do?

Did you know that? You can poison yourself with what you use to wipe your scat? There is a murder technique for a serial killer in a book. Just be sure and quote my nook. There are actually chemicals in some brands that give people rashes, bladder infections, and the like. For years they wouldn't take a hike. Then they switched the ass wipe and poof, no more rashes of any type. Turns out the sneaky sob companies put stuff in there. Were you aware? Now you are thanks to the cat. Remember that if you get an itchy ass wiping your scat. Don't say the cat never helped you with a rhyme pass. I'm so glad I don't have to wipe what comes out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, February 4, 2019

Make It Clear And Appear!

Can you appear with a poof at your sea? That would like to be seen by me. Or maybe not. I could suffer from eye rot. Depends what one has on. Hey, could poof at the crack of dawn. Since when did dawn get a crack? Is the sun mooning every shack? I guess we better go and make a rhyme appear before we confuse all far and near.

Grab a few beers.
Start the appears.
Maybe blurry sight.
Maybe after midnight.

You may need a nap.
You may be a sap.
Hey, we'll let you choose.
How can you lose?

That's lose not loose.
Don't be a silly goose.
It appears you wanted that.
Damn, I'm a great cat.

It appears I'm whelmed.
That is always helmed.
Get tougher with it.
Come on, work that shit.

It appears you're alive.
Now you've taken a nosedive.
That can't really appear.
Maybe I'm dead with a worm in my ear?

It appears you said that.
Yep, said by the cat.
Come and tell me more.
Let's see if you can continue to bore.

It appears you have fur.
It appears that you can purr.
It appears you have a place to go.
It appears that you aren't a crow.

It appears with no appearing.
That is soooo endearing.
So come on over here.
You can just appear.

It appears you walked in sight.
It appears my appearing is right.
It appears that It didn't appear.
It appears hair people fear.

It appears we're done.
It appears this has been spun.
It appears sure is abundant.
It now appears that it appears is redundant.

Did you appear today? It appears that you have something to say. It appeared below. Magical, I know. It appears you are waiting for a question. It appears you want a suggestion. Have you used it appears before? Does anything ever truly appear at your shore? It appears you got all you need. It appears that a retort can take seed. It now appears that I may appear in glass. I just need to walk by it to appear away my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, February 3, 2019

Time To Cheat The Defeat!

The cat always wins at our sea. Pat gives in to little old me. At least I see it that way. Hmm maybe I'm as bad as humans at play. Nah, that can never be. I have someone to scoop my pee.

Time to play.
Time to shout.
Same old day.
Same old out.

The out of one.
The out of all.
However its spun.
However its call.

You were defeated.
I am the winner.
No, you cheated.
You are a sinner.

You did this.
You did that.
No way I miss.
No way I fall flat.

It was you.
You, the cheater.
Admit it's true.
You never beat her.

Not in that way.
Don't go there.
A rhyme at play.
No need to swear.

Now I cheated?
Pfff to you.
You are defeated.
Go suck on some glue.

I hear it's swell.
That was it?
Damn me to hell?
The glue made me the shit?

Well what do you know.
Not a question for you.
This would be a blank show,
If from a "you cheat" it came due.

I cheated each time?
Damn that time.
I'm cheating this time?
Wow, poor old time.

The last one was real cheating, however fleeting. The other crap is all in your pretty little self-denial head. So go rest it in your winner bed. Are you one of those "you cheated" people when you lose? I hope not or the cat will make it news. Know any of them at your sea? On them we'd chuck cat pee. No need to cheat to beat the human mass. It is far too easy for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, February 2, 2019

Get Some Satisfaction As We Get In On The Action!

The cat is typing today. That is an action at play. But not the kind you humans spout. My, action sure gets thrown out. Ever notice that? You will now thanks to the cat.

The stupid is said.
Stuck in the head?
The go to verse.
Could be worse.

Capturing the shit.
See? A worse hit.
Now back to the show.
Some action on the go.

Hello, folks.
Today I have no jokes.
Today we're going to the golf green.
It is quite the upbeat scene.

Look at those clothes.
Oh, he struck a pose.
Oh, she drank from a straw.
That ought to be against the law.

You heard it here first.
You saw that straw burst.
Don't turn to any other faction.
We are all about capturing the action.

That wasn't action at all?
Pffft don't write that on our wall.
Do you think this is Fast and Furious 59?
I bet I could get a nifty line.

We're capturing the action.
They may all be in traction,
But we are capturing it.
We'll free it in a bit.

What? We're 0 for 2?
Damn, damn, damn you.
And those Fast and Furious movies too.
They make golf look like a stinky loo.

But we are still here.
We are capturing the action without fear.
Oh look, a golf clap.
My, will he ever get out of that sand trap?

She sipped from the straw again.
That is worth watching in pen.
How dare you say we don't capture any action.
Go back to Toretto in traction.

Do you see how action gets thrown around? In golf is any action actually found? If you use it in the actions way, then yeah, they are swinging away. An action is being had. But if you capture people won't the FBI get mad? What if you are capturing nothing at all? What if action packed up and went to the ball? Oh, this action could give a cat gas. I better go may sure I get an equal and opposite reaction from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, February 1, 2019

Splashes And Splishes And A Couple Of Fishes!

Remember this post? Way way way back at our coast. Okay, maybe not so way, but could be in cat years at our bay. You said it should be made into a book. Pat obeyed at our nook. Not the cat. Pffft to that obeying strat. And so comes another one with some splashes and splishes fun.

If wishes were fishes and splashes were splishes would splashes be splishes and wishes be fishes? Could splishes be splashes and fishes be flashes with wishes as splishes and splashes as flashes? Or would splashes and splishes make wishes with fishes to stop fishes and wishes for splashes and splishes?

And there we are. Another at our sand bar. Are you ready for splashes and splishes and a couple of fishes? Did you know they make dishes and some sort of wishes? I think that's how it goes. Could cause your tongue woes. Or maybe it will just give you gas. Either way, sure fun to see for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.