Saturday, May 21, 2011

King of Kings and Other Things!

"In the darkness lies a being so immense, so terrifying, that the human mind is unable to comprehend the magnitude of his awesomeness. For he has traveled from afar, seeking revenge for a past injustice. Righting the wrongs with his Godly powers and striking down all who stand in his path. Now you are about to witness a small glimmer into the life of a God, the life of the Great God Duke Drazin."

DRAZIN: "That's right you stinkin furballs, this is a warning, this is your last rights come alive. As Drazin has everything prepared for that day when you are nothing but a pair of slippers. That's right, Drazin is going to take down the both of you furballs for what you did to Drazin. You took advantage of Drazin's unwillingness to show off Drazin's Godly powers to mortals and Drazin is going to pay you both back ten fold."

"With each word he echoes a tremendous force grips all those surrounding him, as they all stare on with wonder. The know not that of which he speaks, most not even understanding the words, but bow down in worship as he continues to spread his wisdom."

DRAZIN: "You flea bags are going to wish you were never created, that you never came into contact with Drazin or that you wised up and bowed down to the Great God Drazin like all Drazin's newly acquired subjects."

"The hundreds in attendance continue to watch in awe at everything he states, as they....oh hell you can't pay me enough to read this crap. You are a nut job plain and simple, I mean the subjects you are talking about are rats and a few bums. Hell you are in a garbage heap, you want to reign over a garbage pile Mr. God, be my guest, I have better things to do then read this shit."

DRAZIN: "Narrator guy, you get your ass back hear and finish what Drazin paid you to do or the Great God Drazin will have you narratoring cereal commercials."

"Hell that be an improvement over this, they'd probably even pay better. Where did you get this money any way? Did you have your rat army go pitpocket some people for you? No you probably stole the bums can collection didn't you? Some God."

DRAZIN: "Narrator guy you are getting on Drazin's nerves, continue reading the script or Drazin will bury you in this garbage heap, giving you a taste of what Drazin has in store for those flea bags."

"Don't make me laugh, you probably have more fleas in your nose hair than two cats ever would. Throw in some human feces, old condoms and God knows what else. Oh wait, you're a God, you should know what else right? Heck if you're so Godly why don't you zap me with a thunderbolt right now? Waiting, waiting, what you need to replace your energizer batteries? Aren't they supposed to keep going and going? I bet with your mouth they deplete pretty fast."

DRAZIN: "That's it narrator guy, Drazin has had enough. Drazin is going to come down off Drazin's Godly mountain top and squash you like a bug, unless you start reading the script in the next five seconds."

"Oh ok I'll finishing reading your so called script. Flea Bag this God who has toppled giants, ogres and unicorns is going to turn you into a head dress, so he can prance around like Madonna. This God who has to walk to get to you, get thrown out a window by two cats and can't even handle a couple of zombies without people named Gung Ho, yeah real winners there, is going to chew on your bones. But don't worry his teeth are so rotten, they'll probably break from a strand of your fur...uggg...awww...."

DRAZIN: "Drazin told you to shut up narrator guy, Drazin isn't going to tell you again. Now the Great God Duke Drazin is going to make an example of you to all Drazin's loyal subjects and to those two furballs, who should fear what's coming."

"Ha fear they might get blisters in their ears from listening to you run your yap all day."

DRAZIN: "Smart mouth to the end huh narrator guy?"

"I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that a God has rats for subjects or the the fact that a supposed God can't even figure out one person's name, do you know how stupid you sound? Oh wait if you knew that, you wouldn't bother getting out of bed in the morning."

DRAZIN: "Enough of you narrator guy, time for you to become part of the trash, guess you'll feel right at home."

"You'd know all about that huh?"

DRAZIN: "See you soon furballs, as Drazin is coming for the both of you and Drazin knows where you live."

I can still see his ugly mug right up close on the screen, enough to make me turn green, as the TV went to static, but don't worry I didn't become erratic. That narrator also sounds rather swell, I'm sure he got away and ran like hell. Maybe one day we'll find out, but such crap that supposed God does spout. Oh wait I haven't explained any of this yet, so here we go don't fret.

Damn I thought the world was going to end there for a second or two, yeah right I know I at least can't fool some of you. Others may be a bit of a ummm bug, as their small brain capacity can be swept under a rug. As I rolled over on the remote last night and woke up to the TV blaring that fright.

So I thought I'd share with all of you, what that Drazin loon was up too. Can you believe he sent that in the mail, Pat must have thought the DVD was a fail. As I never saw him watch it at all, maybe it was for the cat and he's too tall? Yeah that's a stretch, at least I don't play fetch.

But can you imagine waking up to that dumb mook, made me almost want to puke, a hairball I had been working on, waiting to spit it up at dawn. So now I know I'm not hearing things in my sleep, as that narrator guy also blasted that creep, I need to take a nap, so lets all give a clap, to the supposed God of the trash and all those world ending loons who now owe me cash. What you didn't bet? Damn now I'll have a fit and fret. But at least there is satisfaction in knowing I was right, helping me sleep good tonight.

So the cat and everyone else is still here, some might cheer, others might peer and it will start up again another year. But come that time, I'll still be rhyming on a dime and hopefully with no weight added to my mass, as I wouldn't want to be a big rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. Three cheers for the narrator, and both cats,
    And maybe even one cheer for Pat.
    Duke Drazin is begging for our attention,
    But he's full of... something I won't mention!

  2. Yes Pat can have just one
    As the cats get all the work done
    Yes he is full of that
    Least now he can feel at home being with a rat
    Or a few dozen or so
    I'm sure we haven't heard the last of the clown at my show

  3. please dont you start with end of the world predictions as well, its almost sundown and i have yet to be raptured, maybe i am in hell, oh well...

  4. There was no prediction there
    Did your eyes get blinded by that hair
    Maybe your mohawk got out of place
    And got in your face

  5. I've been visiting
    "Great God" Drazin,
    Where he sits on his throne,
    Shriveled up like a raisin.
    He's sure full of insults
    And typical boasts!
    (And I left a mean comment
    On Drazin's
    first post!)

  6. haha I never got mail for that
    Telling me you went there to chat
    I'll have to go have a look
    Drazin might write back a book

  7. I feel I must be a little slow
    as I didn't know you wrote the Drazin posts.
    I never went to visit there
    I didn't know that I should care
    Now that I know the truth
    I'm wondering if I can handle two of you!

  8. Hi! Pat Hatt...
    Omg! This was too funny...not too many words and no full rhyme...maybe next time!
    Thanks, for sharing!
    DeeDee :-D

  9. Drazin's just the one on the side
    His posts are rather wide
    They go from this and that
    As he just runs his mouth with a chat
    So as long as you can handle me
    That's all there needs to

    Yes that Drazin guy is good for a laugh for sure
    The mook doesn't rhyme at my shore
    But oh well at least he didn't yap alot
    Then I would have just let him rot
    Glad you liked the share
    And he didn't ruffle your hair