Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Need a Coffee Table Coaster? If Not, Better Off Buying a Brave Little Toaster!

For those who read the title and got the reference I made, you know what I'm about to degrade. As I did a movie one by the ton, about ones that were fun. So before Pat knocks another cover letter or two down, I'm going to go right to town, on all the bad crap, that will cause you to have a nap, if you pop it on your TV, try one if you don't believe me. So here is the bad movie one, it just had to be done.

So if I named off all the remakes, sequels and crap horror things
As I give my bad movie rings
I'd be here all week
So I'll just go with the ones that you really shouldn't seek
At least from the memory I had
And avoiding them you will be glad

The Fountain will make you wish they'd drown
As this awful piece of trash will make the cat go sport a gown
Mr. Nanny will make you rethink that though
The Tooth Fairy will take that thought and from your mind it will go
If you Zig Zag
Get some exercise instead and play tag

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory may look sweet
But it be more fun to bite the toenails off your feet
The Tomorrow Man should have stayed in tomorrow
And never came causing such sorrow
Game 6 will make your eyes go shut
More than 7 Seconds trust the nut

Abandon all hope
Unless you want to mope
Even if you are Alone in the Dark
It be more fun making your dog bark
If you see The Hulk
Be prepared to sulk

There are a Legion of these
But I'd rather go back and learn the birds and the bees.
Maybe I'll have Balls of Fury or something
Oh the title is the only thing worth a sing
Lymelife will make you go to the store
And suck a lime as that be more fun than that bore

The Million Dollar Hotel
Is more like a trip to hell
Anything with National Lampoon's now a days
Will put you into a stupid daze
The New World should never have been found
As it should have been buried in a big hole in the ground

The Puppter Masters was quite the scare
Just turning it on is more than you can bare
As it will bring the Doom
Yeah the title there should instantly state gloom
Also The Clearing
Will make you wish you lost your hearing

Ernest Goes to Africa is where he should have stayed
As that one was completely frayed
Exorcist the Beginning never should have begun
No I'm no where near done
Wild Hogs couldn't drag me away
Ok they could if I ever again have to watch that on my display

Another Stakeout will make you scratch out your eyes
As you see Rosie with only bubbles as a disguise
Behind the Red Door you'll wish you could slam
Or stick Beowolf in and use his head for jam
Bobby Z might do it for you
But you'd have better time at the zoo

Carriers could make your hair stand on your neck
As The Pest will cause you to already feel regret
Highlaner 2 and Nirvana I don't know which one is worse
Watching each will think you've been hit with a curse
TMNT 3 you'll wish would die
As you'd have more fun poking yourself in the eye

But Beverly Hills Cop 3 takes the cake
As that one you'll shove in the oven and let bake
Or X3 could take that spot
I wish that thing would go and rot
I could be singing The Gospel to you
But this is just so bad it's true

Dungeons & Dragons will make you miss
The last time a drop went down your leg of piss
You'll load up First Daughter
And use it for cannon fodder
I Am Legend adds to the trash
But anything beats Indiana Jones 4 that left a bad rash

Or some overbloated junk like Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3
Which make you want to flee
So starting to get into sequels to much
So I'll give one more touch
On Die Hard 4
As the fighter jet at the end might make you hurl all over the floor

Oh and speaking of what comes up, this food may be liked by a pup, but it is hated by Pat and the cat, although just to tick off the Fox and ruffle his socks, after his big long rant on this meme thing, I 'll give it a ring.

Orlando from O'About That, gave this award to poor Pat. Yeah he needs that, as a big head already consumes the cat. But the cheer is surely appreciated and with all my poking fun it shouldn't be depreciated. Although the rules I break, so excuse as I don't partake, oh wait I have one, 15 people who deserve the award for fun, ummm the cat, the cat, the cat, the cat, the cat.....did I use the commas right? Or cause a fright?.....the cat, the cat, the cat, the cat, the I have such a big head, how do I get out of bed?.....the cat, the cat, the cat, the cat, and the cat. So how about that? Mr. O'About That, was that a swell chat? Did I fall flat? Yes I'm an annoying gnat and a dirty rat, with a baseball bat and a big hat. Look gave facts too, I guess I did follow the rules by you, yep now I'm done, as I've had my fun.

So there we go, have I spoiled your dinner at my show? Or at least your day? But at least by coming my way, you now know to avoid some trash, keeping your cash, or the time you spend downloading stuff, if money is tough, or a cheapo you are. Don't worry I won't rat you out at my bar. So I guess it's time to let Pat type up his job crap, when I feel like giving it to him and taking a nap. As the computer is controlled by my small mass, letting you all hear from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. Well I haven't seen a one of those movies!
    I guess I saved myself some money and gloomies
    As it would have been a waste of money
    thanks for the tip off Orlin,honey.

    Congratulations on your award there!
    I break the rules on those, too, and not share.
    I just say thanks very much
    you are so sweet, and such
    And leave it at that
    just like that cat.
    Otherwise you'll be giving out awards all week
    It's enough to make one shreik
    As they really don't mean so much
    when you know they had to find 15 bloggers to make blush.

  2. haha, Brian...I am first
    and you are worst.
    Can't believe I beat you here
    you were probably off in front of a mirror
    Making sure your mohawk was all straight
    I know that stuff you appreciate.

  3. well arent you sweet, i might have just puked on my feet, these movies i love, like a treasure trove, the badder the better, kinda like that christmas sweater gramma gave you, along with the go hug your award since you keep it to yourself and horde...

  4. Good thing those you haven't seen
    As they might even make you mean
    Yes as bad as they are
    They could make you go that far
    And swear a bit
    Maybe have a fit
    Oh that would be fun to see
    Maybe you should view one or

    Yes awards are grand and all
    But they really are just showing you're on the ball
    Meaning someone likes your rant
    So a link gets a plant
    Yes I'd be ranting like the Fox too
    If these things went out all week sad but true
    But I slapped it up to annoy him a bit
    Just to see if he'd have a fit

    Yes we wouldn't want him to have a curved mohawk
    Some might balk
    Then he wouldn't get that New York shout
    And he wouldn't be able to come and gloat

    The badder the better you say
    Remind me never to stray
    Near your TV set
    As I don't want to fret
    Watching such trash more than once
    Might make me turn into a dunce
    What I'm already there
    Hey what do I care
    Yours is more shiny want to trade
    Yeah but all the rubbing you did I'm sure it has started to fade
    The flu too
    Now you drive me right to the loo
    Crazy a bit you are
    As germs are going to

  5. Hi! Pat Hatt...
    I so glad to see you received an "award" and all the while I can't believe you, Oh! no, not you, Pat, would "horde."

    I agree with you, about a movie or two, make that five, eight, or nine, but two films on your list I would re-watch any "time" because I think that they are..."just fine!"
    That for sharing!
    DeeDee ;-D

  6. The only movie that I ever thought really begged for sequels was The NeverEnding Story. Not because it was good, necessarily, but... Think about it.

  7. Thanks for the movie reply
    Yes most are unbelieveable crap one shouldn't eye
    Hey I like to horde away
    I may share one day
    Two films you say
    That doesn't cause too much dismay
    But then some have no taste
    So they, "cough" DeeDee "cough" watch ones that are a waste..LOL

    I was afriad there for a second or two
    As I thought you were going to say it was good too
    As those movies were kind of bad
    And yes quite clever by a tad
    For it never ends at all
    So must need a sequel call
    But I don't know about just that one
    Because some others need in on the fun

    As Tremors happen every day
    With Rocky hills in the way
    Halloween comes once a year
    You Saw that coming I fear
    Police Academy needs new recruits
    As Batman stocks up on new boots
    Resident Evil won't stop as that be nice
    And my Jaws are just a flapping with some spice
    So before I Die Hard in so many ways
    I go all Jurassic Park and fade away for days

  8. Ha! Very clever follow-up, there, cat!

    I never cared for sequel titles where all they do is add a "II" or a "III" (and so on) to the original title, but my candidate for dumbest sequel title was the title of the sequel to I Know What You Did Last Summer: I STILL Know What You Did Last Summer! My response was, "Oh, good for you! So you haven't forgotten?!?"

  9. Yeah they have to use the 2,3 or whatever
    As they think people aren't(and some aren't) clever
    And won't figure out it's a sequel to the last
    So the money they take in will be less vast

    Yes I think that takes the cake
    As most other crap ones just have 2,3, etc. and some little blurb like "Citizens on Patrol" they make
    Of course there is the I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer
    Guess I Know and I Still Know wasn't enough so they had to think of that hummer

  10. I'll ALWAYS Know...? They did that? They really did that? Never heard of it. Oh, good grief...

  11. Yep it went direct to DVD
    Not something you ever want to see
    Makes the first two look Oscar worthy which is bad
    So not hearing of it be glad
    But yes the title is prob as bad if not worse
    So it deserves a good grief and prob a curse(or ten)

  12. Oompa Loompa Doopity Doo
    Willy Wonka ain't got nothing on you
    A sweet treat I dare say
    Is this post today
    No Pun intended
    I really meant it!
    I need an award too
    Tell me your secret, you!

  13. Act like a loon
    And you get an award soon
    That's all I can say
    As I just sit and play
    Oompa Loompa I would eat
    They might be a tasty treat

  14. Wow, such a lot going on here!
    I missed a a whole bunch I fear.
    Lots of new faces from poetry land
    and some even played along, isn't that grand!

  15. Yes there seems to be some new ones coming by
    To see what they can spy
    Even Subby gave a rhyme
    This could soon hit the big

  16. I saw Subby came by!
    I finally drew nigh.
    I think we were having too much fun.
    To not join in would be kinda dumb!

  17. Yes the fun is spreading quite a bit
    Soon I might have to have a fit
    But I can keep up and rhyme on a dime
    Except when the facts steals my time

  18. Don't want one of those
    As who knows how that goes
    But I suppose
    I could have on in one of my new post shows