Saturday, August 6, 2011

Beware Of Traps, They Might Cause You Pain Perhaps!

Oh it was such a delight that after seeing Betsy's latest recipe last night. I finally came up with a good use for food, just in case those gamertag guys ever come back to bush number three and feud. Now this should be fun, as I use food to make trespassers run.

First if you can read the sign to stay off my grass, than you deserve to slip on your ass. As the peanut butter swirl brownies will send you for a spin, launching you off my grass and into the garbage bin. But if you some how sneak past, never fear my traps are still vast.

As a stampede you'll have to avoid. For Easter lamb sugar cookies have been employed. Yes they are Easter ones so they can hop and then on top of you they'll flop. You'll be squashed flat and get thrown back out on my door mat.

I also have launchers in trees, no they aren't full of peas. Tomato zucchini pie is what their loaded with, try to get by and you'll realize this isn't a myth. Splat they'll go in your face and you'll be removed from my place.

If you try another way, you will be caused great dismay. As not only will tree branches whack you at every turn, but white chocolate and pstachio dipped pretzel rods will make you feel the burn. When those things are frozen solid they can hurt, make even whack you so hard blood could spurt. See run away in fear and I'll watch and cheer.

You could also turn into a fluff ball, as you are attacking for trespassing at my stall. For the twin bread attack will come after you, with dark whole wheat bread and chocolate zucchini bread attacking together what will you do? Correct answer is, to my little quiz, that so much will surround you and stick to you like glue. Then you'll be one big fluff ball and I'll roll you out of my stall.

But if you get past the first layer or my traps, three layer lemon bars will cause you to collapse. Yes all that was just one layer, now since you think you're such a player. You have to deal with three at one time. They'll jump at you and turn you into a mime. They'll fill your yap and stomp your feet, then just when you think you are beat. They'll go up your nose, that's just how the three layer lemon bars plan of attack goes.

If you can sneak by them though, not one step further you will go. As the quick sticky biscuits will stick to your shoes, giving you the immovable blues. There you will stand in the rain and snow, trying with everything to go. But you won't be able to move one bit and I'll laugh at your hissy fit. For now you just gave me a free statue on my lawn from dusk until dawn. Wasn't that nice of you, appreciate it I do.

But lying in wait will be the strawberry preserves, ready to really get on your nerves. As they have the magic touch and come through in the clutch. As just when you think you have me beat, they sound their horn and stomp their feet. A whole army march up in front of you, carrying at least one pringle can, probably two. Each one set with a fuse, when lit they know they can't lose. For thanks to me and Cassie they are full, with something that rhymes with it and that's no bull.

As they launch you'll get covered in poo and run away screaming you'll sue. But it was you that came to bush number three, now you know not to visit me. Oh that was fun, sorry Betsy I stole recipe titles by the ton..hahaha So now that you have the facts and if you ever think of coming near my tracks. Good luck trying to bypass, the traps set up by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

21 comments:

  1. Oh, now how did you know I needed a laugh today
    My oh my, now this was quite a display!
    I can only imagine your gag reflex kicking into action
    as you had to look up those titles with zero attraction
    Two of my boys here would love your idea
    as they won't touch my food galleria!
    This was better than a food fight
    and would certainly cause fright!
    My favorite was getting stuck in Quick Sticky Biscuits
    and having to look down the end of your musket.
    I suppose they could eat their way out
    and then run away with a great big shout.

    Thanks, Cat...this was fun, you know?
    I'd offer you an x and an o
    but know you'd shiver at the germs, so
    I'll just call you 'dear'
    and keep it germless, have no fear.
    lol....

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  2. so when coming to visit the cat, bring your own lunch sack, as tomato zuchini pie in the eye is an entre i dont want to try, as pringle bombs fly, i might just cry, have you tried the seven layer dip ones, so good they will grow your buns, all in fun, but high carb so they wont give you the runs...peaking of running, its been raining, but the sun has fianlly come in so see ya on the back end.

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  3. haha yes looking at all those
    Really made me curl my nose
    But I figured for a time I could withstand
    As I had to protext my land
    If they think it's a good idea
    They can feel free to stirke fear
    And create a trap or two of their own
    They could top it off with an ice cream cone..haha
    Yeah a food fight would just make too much mess
    This leaves so much less
    As it only happens when someone steps on my grass
    To illiterate to read no trespass..lol
    haha true they could eat away
    But there's a ton so may take most of the day
    Glad I could give some weekend cheer
    And have fun while striking "stay away from bush #3" fear..lol
    Yead the dear works over the x and o
    If only everyone else was so well in the know..haha

    You don't have to bring your own though
    If you set off a trap you could have lunch on the go
    But sense it's an entre you don't want
    Yeah bring your own if you come to taunt
    I think I tried those ones a while back
    Like all the rest they were OK but they flew from my shack
    Just the regular ones I like the best
    To which I always attest
    Yes eat a ton and you might get the runs
    Right out your buns..lol
    Sunny here too for once
    As lately the sun has been hiding like a dunce

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  4. haha - i think the biscuits to shoes to blues line was my fav...and i love peanut butter...we don't get really good one over here in europe, so from time to time i make som myself...smiles...and now i'm hungry...

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  5. Ah,see?
    My recipe titles made Claudia hungry!
    She didn't curl her nose.
    She'd like my cooking, Goodness knows!
    Claudia, if you're ever in the States,
    I'd be happy to serve you up a plate. :)

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  6. My traps made you hungry you say
    They were supposed to cause dismay
    Not to that
    Oh well it can still work for the cat
    Then you can go eat off Betsy's plate
    And leave me all alone to my fate..lol

    Yeah she didn't curl her nose
    As she didn't see the picture pose
    Of each one
    They'd make her run
    Or maybe that's just me
    And my picky eating philosophy..haha

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  7. I've sent readers here from my blog to yours
    but forgot to warn them of your rhyming shores
    or your general looniness
    It might be too much for them, I confess!
    So if you see anyone there looking a little dazed
    just pop them a pill an return them in a few days.
    lol...

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  8. haha that was very funny
    and it was fun enough
    to make my day sunny :)

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  9. hahaha oh they are scared of all the rhyming fluff
    I guess they aren't accustomed to my rhmying stuff
    Even though one doesn't have to be loony to read
    Although pop a pill or vein they could at my feed
    hahaha they may no tbe returned whole
    If they come to my land for a stroll...lol

    Glad your day could be sunny
    Guess my rhyming was right on the money
    And fun I always can be
    At least mostly

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  10. fun..fun...fun....
    on this raining morning,
    you gave me a smile ~

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  11. Hi Pat,

    Stopped on by from Betsy's to read your rhyme.
    And I remember most of the recipes posted at some time.
    We are so thankful that she takes the time to share,
    Which makes us all feel about us, she does care.
    She always makes sure that her site if full of fun,
    And with all of us she is number one.

    It was a great poem for this visit we see,
    And time to meet you, and you meet me.

    Will see you again some time soon,
    In the evening, because I sleep past noon.

    God bless.

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  12. Yeah is kinda crappy out
    Glad you could smile at my trap shout
    And look a beach boys song title
    You telling me you want another one of those posts and that I should stop being idle..lol

    Wow a Betsy follower came and rhymed here
    Although when Betsy comes to peer
    She'll see you made her feel all nice
    Without any of my usual spice
    And I'll plug my ears in fear
    As I'll have to withsand a dear..lol

    You had a fun litte verse
    Glad you didn't see the rhyming and curse..lol
    I don't sleep past noon
    But I am a rhyming loon

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  13. Pat, you are so funny.
    You should write for money.
    You could write greeting cards,
    as you are better than most bards.

    P.S. I bet you really are a good cook,
    but if not, you're a poet in my book!

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  14. haha that be an idea
    I'd sure like that career
    I could do 100 a day
    And then go and play..lol
    Everything I ever tried I can cook fine
    Of course there isn't a whole lot I eat when I dine..hahaha

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  15. Oh, did I enjoy this one! Well done Pat!

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  16. haha, Well, of course MrsUpole is a dear
    see...I said it, so give a cheer!
    lol....

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  17. hahaha then comes the pringle can bomb full of crap
    If you don't leave and set off my trap..lol

    Another from Betsy's way
    If they keep coming a commission I'll have to pay..lol
    See more can be done with food I hate
    Glad it was an enjoyable fate..haha

    No cheer for that
    As I'm a stubborn cat..haha

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  18. Great food fight, now I know to bring a spatula to swat away the food attacks. Man oh man I didn't need to read about all that food, now I'm hungry, and i've been dieting, cutting away the sugar, which is super difficult, and those 3 layered lemon bars, sound like something I'd let accost me. Yum. Really novel way to play with food pat:)

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  19. Aw, Fred...
    loved this line...
    and those 3 layered lemon bars, sound like something I'd let accost me. Yum

    That made my day.
    But I'm sure it gave Pat some dismay.
    lol....

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  20. hahaha the spatula won't stop my pringle can finale
    They'll be hurled across the whole valley
    But yes that must suck
    And is really bad luck
    Trying to diet and seeing all kinds of food names
    With my defense games
    The only way I'd play with this food
    hahaha the food might consider it rather rude

    Yes much much dismay
    But I guess it's OK
    If it made your day
    And I never see such food in real life on a tray..lol

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