Saturday, September 3, 2011

Warning! An Applause Could Cause....

Did you know that well here at my show you are in danger. Damn I should not tell or you could become a stranger. But I guess everything has to be disclosed upfront or the FDA may go on a cat hunt. Oh wait! They are only in it for the dough. So they have already sunk to a new low. Probably unable to pull their head from some palm lacing guys behind to even attempt to find, me or anyone else at bush number three.

Anyway enough with that crap, as for this lap. It is time to give you some directions of what you could catch. Warning! This may be a bit of a stretch.

Do Not Lose Your Composure! Time For Full Disclosure!

Damn! You caught my addiction
But that is not your only confliction
You suffered a bout of explosive diarrhea
Sending you praying to Cassiopeia

Abducted by aliens and probed
Completely unrobed
Your hair can catch fire
You calling me a liar

Could mutate into a turtle
Become infertile
Don a German accent
All your money spent

Get a lazy eye
Become a pregnant guy
Develop wobbly legs
Put square blocks into round pegs

Do some strange dance
No longer able to prance
As fingers switch with toes
Could be flash froze

Develop homacidal intentions
Seek psychic interventions
Gain a fixation
With kitty litter cremation

Use a fork to drink soup
Live in a chicken coup
Get hairy bottom feet
Fall off your seat

Get a brown nose
Become food for crows
Do things with a hose
That only God knows

Burst into flames
Stop playing head games
Develop a chihuahua face
Fired from the rat race

A bad eating habit
A fascination with a rabbit
An increase in ear wax
The need for ex lax

Itch all over
Imitate rover
Go blind in one eye
Unable to cry

Get a numb tongue
Pop a lung
Pop a vein
And get the urge to board a train

Wow! That was just a ton. Oh don't run. I am sure only a few will ever catch such a thing from listening to my rhymes sing. But if you do you have been warned. Although I promise I will at least pretend you were mourned. Can't I be quite crass? So before you catch something I will remove my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

18 comments:

  1. Now, Pat, I was okay with everything -- yes even the thought of you an alien-probed pregnant guy with explosive kaka donning a German accent, but the hairy-bottomed feet would be a bit of a turn off. I've known some hairy-foot-bottomed guys and that was Really Scary.

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  2. hahaha geez those hairy bottom feet must be bad
    For you to like an alienprobed pregnant guy with explosive kaka donning a German accent lad
    Damn that was a long one
    Sure you had lots of fun
    Never saw a person with hairy feet
    But you that would be scary and not at all neat

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  3. Oh this was so funny
    we always crack up at the ads on tv
    that end with those long disclaimers
    talking so fast you can barely decipher
    all the warnings you could catch
    terrible things and even death
    Numb tongue? Been there, done that.
    and that's a Face It Fact.
    ha.

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  4. Ha..ha..I thought I will fall over in laughter...

    Enjoy our long weekend ~

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  5. dude...probed, disrobed and englobed with new life, strife indeed, i nearly peed...

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  6. haha yes those warning guys must be part auctioneer
    Going so fast, hoping you don't hear
    I stuck numb tongue in just for you
    How could I not with you now rhyming here and there for all to view..haha

    haha good thing you didn't fall over though
    That could hurt don't you know
    Yes long weekend is always enjoyed by me
    Hope yours also brings you glee

    hahaha as long as you ran
    And did it in the can
    Nearly that is
    Yes quite the strife indeed this rhyming biz
    All the crap it can cause
    One might need to stock up on gauze

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  7. Sounds like the side effects for my allergy medication!

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  8. You were quite the commentator
    and an entertainer
    about the disclaimer!
    Things that could cause bad behavior
    could be an agitator.
    Bad for you or your neighbor.
    Might need a mediator!
    Hire a lawyer with a retainer
    in case you go on a respirator
    and need a translator
    or maybe an undertaker!
    Nothing could be stranger
    than finding disfavor
    with the product your thought was safer.
    Might need an operator,
    help from a stranger,
    call the company administrator
    as your blood pressure rides an escalator
    ok, that's all, so see you later! :)

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  9. Damn I'd throw out that medication
    Sounds like it me more of an agitation

    And commentate you did
    Really flipping the lid
    On all the tips to keep myself hid
    Not ending up with a lawsuit bid
    I think for some the translator may come in handy
    Yes finding a safe one is bad isn't dandy
    I'll stay off the escalator too
    So then no germy people have to help me giving me the flu..hahaha

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  10. LOL! how do you come up with this stuff! :)

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  11. haha just give a huff and a puff
    And out it comes, usually easy not rough..haha

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  12. Sitting here laughing at your comments as much as your verse... my goodness talk about giggling.
    LOL
    People used to say to me sometimes, "I'd love to be in your mind, to see your thoughts and how you see the world" Well, Pat, I think I'd freak if I spent just a minute or two in yours. Hehe.
    Teasing you.... just. *winks

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  13. hahaha can freak me out at times too
    So be a terrifying visit for you
    But oh wouldn't that be fun
    Although you might come undone..haha
    Yes the comments are just as fun to see
    That many leave me

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  14. Fingers switched with toes could INDEED cause a problem! LOL.

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  15. Pat,

    The first thought that came to my mind was Cartman and his probing episode but then of course that thought past. Really great flow to this, no pun intended. Anyhow, back from my reprieve, back on the grid for me, pleased to be greeted with an entertaining path. Thanks

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  16. Yes fingers and toes
    Might make one hit new lows..haha

    Took a reprieve
    And came to the path I weave
    Oh that must have been a shock
    But I know you'll never balk..haha

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  17. A bad eating habit
    A fascination with a rabbit
    An increase in ear wax
    The need for ex lax....

    Loved this one most !!!

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  18. hahaha better watch those ears
    May fill up after reading my rhyming cheers

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