Thursday, October 6, 2011

A Reason Why They Are Cheap, They Seem To Seep!

Does it pay to buy cheap?
What if you weep?
The tissue is crappy.
And now everyone knows you are unhappy.

For unknowing to you.
Your face is stuck with a piece of that tissue.
Or there is the ketchup thing.
You can shake and give it a fling.

But out comes runny watery crap.
Because you did not go with the Heinz chap.
Then there is always TP as well.
Cheap brands of that can be hell.

It can either be as hard as sand paper.
Bringing forth a whole new caper.
Or it can be rather thin.
And Pop! Your finger went through, what a sin.

So tissue face with watery ketchup and a brown finger.
Aren't you glad you let cheap linger?
Then there is a bag of chips or bag of that.
When you open there is barely enough to feed a cat.

Yeah you got them cheap.
But thanks to the chip creep.
You got half as much.
Guess you should have went dutch.

What? You also bought that cheap tape.
Now you will never fix that cape.
Tear a piece off and oopsy daisy.
The tape is now lazy.

It folds back in on itself,
Refusing to hold up that shelf.
Of course there is paper towel.
Which can make you howl.

Kids/dog/cat/you were clutsy today.
You go to clean up the liquid spray.
Tear a piece off, damn! Did not work.
Another and another, damn what a jerk.

A whole roll is all gone.
Poor tree is next on your lawn.
So now you are a brown fingered, tissue faced, watery ketchup serving, half empty chip chump, with flimsy tape and no paper towel to be seen.
You say that was a cheap shot? Aren't I just mean?

Oh no! The shingles you got last year,
Are letting in rain I fear.
Oops that car part from wal-mart,
Left your Tinman with no heart.

Your controller broke a stick.
That cheap looking ummm slop is just ick.
The sun screen left a burn.
And the hedge clippers can't even cut a simple fern.

I guess you got what you paid for.
Like that half hanging door,
And that withering floor.
On the cheap tour.

Now you are a legend of lore.
Right down to your core.
For you have become,
A brown fingered, controller breaking, floor creaking, doorless, burnt crispy, roof leaking, slop eater, with a view blocking hedge, a busted car, a tissue wearing face, serving watery ketchup and half empty chips, while providing no paper towels and flimsy tape. I recommend taking a shot of rum.

Now was that not fun? Sorry that you got burnt crispy from the sun. That was a cheap shot, but I liked doing it a lot. Was that cheaper? Don't call the reaper. Plus keep your brown finger to yourself. Go wipe it on some Christmas elf. So that is simply the facts of my cheap sass and off I will go with my oh so expensive (right) little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

37 comments:

  1. This is awesome because my entire family makes fun of me for being frugal!

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  2. haha I get made fun of too
    So I just turned it around and out the rhyme flew

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  3. this could fit nicely with a toilet paper too :) Maybe it would require some sadder tones, because when toiler paper is cheap, and seeps and is crappy ... well than it's really crappy :)

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  4. haha yes it will fit well with just toilet paper
    Seeping through like a bad caper
    Becoming all crappy
    Making a germaphobe very unhappy

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  5. Said as only you can say it Pat.

    As a frugal buyer myself, we learned that you have to selective. Getting imitation Frosted Flakes for 1/2 the price that turned to mush instantly when milk is added defeats the dollar saving high.

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  6. Yeah exactly the point
    As frugal as I can be at my joint
    It is stupid to do
    If it turns it to crap when used by you
    Sometimes the whole extra buck
    Really is better for ones luck

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  7. Heinz? I only buy the organic ketchup that is twice the price. You don't want to ingest all that high fructose corn syrup! It ages your insides.

    That being said, I'm great at wasting my money. Maybe I should keep re-reading this post until my bank account grows. lol

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  8. I can really relate to this LOL! I need to stop shopping at the dollar store :)

    This is my favorite line:
    "So tissue face with watery ketchup and a brown finger.
    Aren't you glad you let cheap linger?"

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  9. you obviously know my grandmother, gotta love her, cheap and no waste is her mantra with haste, you made me cringe just a bit...

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  10. A tissue roll dropped onto the floor
    Caught the attention of my Scottish Fold
    It pushed it at great speed a bit more
    The tissue took a life of its own and rolled

    Hank
    Note: This is a true story.

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  11. haha oh organic you say
    Never knew that even existed at the grocery bay
    My insides are aging too
    That is just eww
    Mine doesn't grow
    Even with this stuff I know
    So good luck with that
    Never take the advice of a cat..haha

    Yes damn those dollar stores
    And the crap they sell in fours
    It's pretty sad when the battery cost more than what you bought
    And it's only the size of a dot

    hahaha I made you cringe you say
    Oh that just made my day
    Takes alot for someone to do that
    Guess I'm just a smart little cat

    Hmmm a haunted tissue that's new
    Would have been interesting to view
    Kind of creepy though
    Maybe you had an invisible cat that made it roll and flow

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  12. Oh yes, I totally agree
    Although I've found a few store brands that were just a good, though practically free.
    But for the most part it's a waste
    when you thought you were saving in haste.
    Glass cleaner is one not do-able
    as the cheap stuff leaves streaks instead of being invisible.
    Hand lotion that is mostly water
    such a waste for you or your daughter.
    The chip bag made me laugh
    Yes, mostly full of air as you look in and gasp.
    Lightbulbs that last about a month,
    laundry soap that leaves stuff feeling like grunge.
    Yes, I even buy the expensive ant spray
    with lots of numbing strength at my bay.
    Certainly got my money's worth there.
    Even had enough to share!
    lol....

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  13. Yes there always is an exception to the rule
    But many try to fool
    Yeah seen some of that hand stuff so watered down
    It would make one and all frown
    At least with the chip bag
    If one needs a diet it can help out with it's half bag gag
    But then one just buys more
    So all in all they've been beat by the store
    Yes you sure got your money's worth
    As the moniker numb tongue it gave birth..hahaha

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  14. PS thanks for putting me in your rhyming blogroll :P

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  15. Glad you liked the blog
    Hopefully your head did not get full of fog

    Not a problem at all
    Movie news is great at your hall
    And I saw I was in your as well
    So that just added to my need to tell

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  16. I needed the laughs and smiles from your post... just dropping by to say Hi !

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  17. Cheap Toilet paper is pretty much awful.
    great rhyme!

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  18. Nuthin' wrong wit be'n cheap-lol Tried to save on type- but just came out looking all hick-haha there's another example for you. But really I have no choice but to try and be frugal in most things, but there is a point, despite pursestrings- TP is no. one- and I saw this loon from Oregon trying to push his device, it's like one of those towel things in the restrooms where you wave your hand out and some paper flows. Well this guy is trying to push his machine that will "save" the environment, waving your hand and one piece one-ply comes out at a time- and he had statistics saying that only 13 % of a piece is used- tree complaints again- anyhow went out on a tangent there, but TP is not something to mess with-

    Imagine getting that device then it gets jammed up and out comes nothing- you'll be in trouble then.

    But yeah, there are a few things- and I love the presentation- lots of good information wrapped up in feline entertainment :)

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  19. Glad I could give a laugh and a smile
    As I walked a cheap mile

    Yes agreed
    It does not do the needed deed..haha

    hahaha yes cheap words do not go over well at all
    Unless you want to be a hick and pretend you are from a far stall
    That isn't a good invention
    Who ever made that should get detention
    Having nothing come out would be rather ewww
    There isn't a whole lot you could do
    Besides use your hand
    And that just would not be grand

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  20. How about cheap cat food?
    That would not be good.
    Could give them gas
    might as well feed them trash
    Could give them the runs
    that would not be fun!
    lol...

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  21. Oh you haven't seen nothing yet
    Give Orlin cheap cat food and you better get
    His poo is like a cow patty and big
    So cheap never ever goes near that pig
    Stinky as well
    Poor cat looks like he went through hell
    But the greedy cat still sneaks it when we visit
    After he gets through his eww 14 cats fit..haha

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  22. Poor Orlin
    Hissy fits, cheap food
    and a 14 cat brood.
    then a tummy ache
    from eating from their plates
    a cow pattie too
    oh how nice for you!

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  23. hahaha yes it isn't a fun sight
    Cassie will not touch another's plate day or night
    No matter the food
    Of the 14 cat and one dog brood
    But old gutsy there
    Will go on a tear
    Then gets the runs
    Even jumps on the counter and eats the bread buns..haha

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  24. Well, maybe Cassie has your OCD.
    She wouldn't want those germs that you can't see
    crawling on their bowls and dishes!
    The thought makes her shiver and her tail swishes.
    Since there isn't such thing as paw sanitizing gel
    she just stays away and says WTH?
    lol....

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  25. haha well the Miss Priss moniker is there for a reason
    So maybe she does think their germs commit treason
    She sits on her perch and hisses at anyone who tries to touch her
    Then if they do she spends the next hour licking her fur
    Later up comes the hairball
    Preferably out in the hall..haha

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  26. She must sit up high
    thinking germs don't rise.
    Whiskers is becoming quite the little priss, too.
    A little girlie girl, even when going to the loo.
    She holds her own against her brothers, though
    I wouldn't want to fight her toe to toe.
    er..a, paw. lol...

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  27. hahaha yes they can be quite prissy
    And a little bit hissy
    Guess it's a female thing
    But when push comes to shove their claws sure fling
    She slams Orlin down with quite the might
    Of course he uses his leg height
    And snaps her back
    Then goes back on the attack..haha
    Should get the all fighting on video and compare
    At least we could see all the flying hair..haha

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  28. You should set up a camera at home that let's you watch them while you're at work.
    Could be more fun than the blog lurk.
    But might be upsetting as you watch helplessly
    and they tear up your place frantically.
    I can see you yelling at your screen,
    "Orlin! Stop that...almost popping a spleen"
    Coworkers would look and ask why
    as you wiped your brow and sighed.
    lol...

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  29. hahaha yes I think it's best no knowing
    At least until I get home and the mess is showing
    Be fun to watch though maybe once or twice
    But then I'd neglect blogland and the rhyming might pay the price
    Sending you into withdrawal or something
    No longer having rhymes to sing

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  30. Oh listen to you with your big head
    thinking without you I'd fall into dread
    Some kind of withdrawl from missing the rhymes
    well, maybe there would be some truth to your chime
    But the cure would be to send an email and ask
    what are they up to now, Orlin and Cass?
    Then you'd cry and say
    the tp is on the floor at my bay!
    The frig door is open and Orlin won't close it
    And I'm here at work about to have a fit!
    hahaha

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  31. hahahaha you forgot Cassie chewing the cords and scratching the couch
    Then chowing down on a poor rouch
    Orlin in search of string to eat
    Him opening a drawer, somehow, with his feet
    And spreading cat nip around
    Putting holes in blankets that are found
    Climbing the curtains that are nailed to the wall
    And sending the mat flying down the hall
    Plus knocking everything else over as they run
    Even flicking litter around when they hop out, once all done
    Climbing in the cupboards and spreading the trash bags about
    Also taking the dust thingys out of the box and running away with them no doubt
    But at least as he goes he sings a song
    Doesn't that make up for all he did wrong..haha

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  32. Oh gosh~ LOL Yes, that would be too much to watch from work
    You wouldn't do anything but lurk
    and cuss and yell and fret
    as your coworkers on your sanity took bets.
    lol...

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  33. ok - ok - convinced...i won't buy that cheap crap any more...smiles
    now did you get paid by those that sell that 4 layer soft toilet paper for writing this...? hahah

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  34. haha yep too much indeed
    I'd surely neglect my feed
    And what little sanity I have left would be gone
    I'd be nuts from dusk to dawn..haha

    If I can convince you
    The should pay me a hefty fee for what I do..haha
    Wouldn't that be nice
    To rhyme and get paid price
    Those toilet paper guys sell a lot
    So I'm sure I can be bought..haha

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  35. hehehe.. you never fail in making me smile :)

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  36. Glad I never fail
    Guess it's because of my furry tail

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