Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Sun Needs To Get With The Program. Enough With The Spam!

You wake up and have a look and oh it's nice and sunny at your nook. The sun beams in on your face. The window just has to be open at your place. Poof! You open it up nice and wide. The stupid sun lied! For your arms get rather bumpy, things shrink so you can't get ummm humpy and things get perky too. But that you knew.

The stupid sun is just a prick making you fall for such a trick. That damn thing needs to get on board the train and stop yanking ones chain. If you are bright and sunny be warm if not go away and let it storm. Don't show yourself if you aren't go to warm things up. Can do that with a coffee cup. Or at least those that drink that stuff can, the cat or Pat isn't a fan.

The sun is a fake,
Ignoring the freezing lake.
It looks like it can make you bake,
As soon as you wake.

But then you get a chill,
Denying you of a thrill.
Unless you pop a pill,
Or have a mighty strong will.

Make it so all is nice,
And you will get no spice.
Melt the stinking snow,
And let the grass grow.

But not too high,
Mowing the lawn can make some cry.
Especailly if they are clusty,
Or a little putsy.

And chop off your feet.
That would not be neat.
I guess with no snow,
Have to be sure to have ice at your show.

Move closer if you must,
Bring on spring and lust.
The winter just sucks,
Even for wandling ducks.

It freezes up trucks,
Heat also costs bucks.
Make the cold go poof,
And stop weighing down the roof.

The ice sickles can kill too.
That just won't do.
Letting those things remain,
That can really cause pain.

So do the cat a favor,
Change the season to a different flavor.
And stop trying to be tricky.
That is just icky.

Anyway, you have been told and I don't want any more cold. The same goes for too much heat. So set your power on repeat and make it just right, evening, noon and night. That is the simple facts for you. Now make it come due. If not I will have to get really crass for you freezing off my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.


  1. yes, it can be tricky especially there where you are, i remember in Montreal in the winter wanting to freshen up the bedroom, i opened the window and 10 mins later it froze and we coudn't close it! i had to hairblow dry the windowsill to be able to close it again!!! :-))
    i don't like the temperature extremities neither ...

    1. LOL well never heard of doing that
      Hairblow drying the windowsill to make the cold scat
      Will keep that idea in mind
      If the window will never close for my behind

  2. I could deal with out a lot of sun, and some nice rain would be fun!
    Have a great weekend...

    1. As long as it's warm rain is fine
      If it is cold than it's not so divine

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  4. Before I could spin a rhyme like you,
    I'd need some coke and sniff a shoe.
    Winter sucks -
    and makes me blue.

    1. I hop the shoe is nice and new
      As if it was stinky that be ewww
      But I guess since you rhymed it came due
      Wait! Is sniffing shoes why you are blue?

    2. The shoe was ewww and definitely not new,
      which would have been fine had that shoe been mine!
      But I guess that's what you get -
      when you're a sucker for cheap wine.

    3. So you were already in a funk
      A tad drunk
      Then smelled the shoe of some foot skunk
      And fell over with a kerplunk

  5. The opposite happens here. There may be clouds, but the heat is still stifling. Hope you get some nice sunshine (and warmth too)

    1. Needs to be a happy medium I say
      Mother nature should get on that some day

  6. i hear what you are saying about the sun, when it just emanates the cold it is no fun, it just fools us and thinks its smart, but then i guess it really shows its heart...

    1. Yeah just sits their all shiny and nice
      Then you go out and pay the price
      Nice and cold it is
      Some nasty biz

  7. "things shrink so you can't get ummm humpy and things get perky too. But that you knew"
    are you sure it's not just you, Pats, don't blame it on the sun :PPPP

    1. LOL but it's so much more comforting to blame in on the sun
      So it must be done

  8. So it's safe the say that your not a fan of the cold??? LOL!

    And way to get graphic with the lawn mower!! Mowing the lawn could make someone cry?! I've NEVER heard of that. Imagine someone looking out the window and just bursting into hysterics because the grass needs a trim?! LOL Then they chop off their feet because it would be neat...hahaha

    Glad I never mowed a lawn. It sounds emotionally draining...

    1. LOL yes it is safe to say
      I don't mind it for a little bit at play
      But after that it must go away
      And stop coming each and every day
      Never heard of that
      I've actually seen one or two go a bit whacko over having to mow the lawn at their mat
      Plus those poor toads will cry
      When the lawn mower comes at them and they die
      And choppping of their feet
      I guess they want the zombie foot to be beat...haha
      Never mowed a lawna t all?
      My aren't you spoiled at your hall.
      You at least know you can get grass stains on your shoes right?
      I know one who got off her fat ass and did it one night
      The moron got mad because the grass stains came due
      It shouldn't do that blah blah blah and boo hoo..haha

  9. blah blah blah boo hoo??? Someone's making noissesss!!! I won't say who though b/c I recently hit 100% hahaha

    And no, never had to mow the lawn. My dad and my brother always had that covered. Plus, the lawn mower is prob bigger than me!!!

    and you've really seen someone cry over mowing a lawn? That's a priceless post right there! Too bad you don't have a video. I'd crack up!

    1. hahaha well that's what she did
      Really flipped her lid
      Went on and on and on and on
      Think she said 1000 times the word lawn
      LOL that is true
      The lawn mower might eat you..hahaha
      Not ball completely but a little bit
      And whined having a fit
      May have to do it one on that as summer comes due
      That is one thing I don't miss though, it's true
      Hated doing that
      But beats shoveling snow any day at my mat

  10. I agree - change the season to a different flavor
    I no more wish winter to savor
    The temp here at the moment is Fahrenheit 10 degree
    Very cold to expect any little dog to go out and pee.

    1. haha yeah they don't like to go out with the cold
      And would rather fold
      Then do it on the floor
      Same for a down pour

  11. Sounds like you need to move somewhere where the weather is less extreme. Or take a pill. One of the two, haha!

    1. LOL telling me to pop a pill
      hahaha turning the tables at my hill

    2. I thought you'd get a laugh, it's true,
      If Foxy turned that phrase on you!
      But windy, snowy, dry or wet...
      We're gonna get just what we get!

    3. Yeah there isn't much we can do
      But deal with what's put in our view
      Or move along to some other shore
      Trading snow for some rain down pour

  12. I have weather like that here today!
    13F degrees but cloudless blue at my bay.
    Bright sun shining on the snow
    makes you wear your sunglasses because of the glow!
    But stand outside and you feel the chill
    grab your know the drill.
    Sorry things are perky, bumpy and shrinky
    and a little dinky.
    Lay in a sunspot on the floor
    if Cass will share one that she adores.

    1. Cass will share
      After giving a wtf do you want glare
      Just be glad when spring has sprung
      And would freeze up a lung
      No more dinky stuff to be had
      Will also be
      Although then I'll whine about the heat
      Either way I'm beat

  13. Icy snow last night.
    Man, what a pisser.
    Fell not on my ass,
    but on my kisser.

    Hurry, spring!

    1. I'd rather fall on my ass
      Even if it was on the grass
      But I guess snow could soften the blow
      Or just shows you that some blood does flow

  14. Today it snowed about 1/5 of an inch here in Maryland.... Wimpy :(

    1. LOL wimpy works for me
      That kind of snow will flee

  15. Replies
    1. Very true
      Hate the cold and the white stuff view

  16. Yeah, I agree, we've had it mild for our standards here, but lo and behold, I was just telling someone yesterday, go figure right, how winter was almost over, another month or so, and this year was fine as compared to the other years. Well, I had to go and open my mouth, woke up today and it was white everywhere, barely could see my car. Snow and cold is awful, at least with the heat you can jump in a pool or a shower. Days like this and winter in general really make me want to seek southern shelter.

    1. Yeah I'll take heat anyday
      One can easily make that go away
      Stupid cold can take forever to get warm
      Plus brings forth a stupid snow storm
      I like it cold indoors
      And warm outdoors at my shores
      Well not to an extreme though
      Which you know

  17. Replies
    1. We got sun
      But the cold that is with it is no fun

  18. Listening to a hip hop instrumental right now man and for some reason the lyrics fit in so well with it, I love it Pat, The sun's been playing tricks on me too recently, stuff sucks, we're outta luck!

    1. Hip hop and the cat going together
      Thanks to the weather
      How about that
      You out of luck at our mat

  19. I hate the winter...but spring is just around the corner

    1. True it is almost here
      But that doesn't mean much I fear
      For the snow can still come
      And annoy my little rhyming bum

  20. We trade the snowfall and snowflakes
    For the heat we have all year round
    It would be novelty for the kids
    Wishful thinking in magazines we found


    1. Well if we did a little trade
      Then each of our plights would fade
      And it be just right
      But it be a costly flight

  21. I share your sentiments...I woke up to a wintery morning but it seems to have stopped now. I enjoyed the chill thriller ~

    Happy day ~

    1. Glad the chill thriller was fun
      Stupid cocky sun
      Giving us a nice blaze
      And then the cold knocks us out of our daze

  22. Where I live, the sun never lies. The rain, on the other hand...

    1. No sun
      That is no fun
      Stupid rain all the time
      Has to be a crime

  23. Can't say I know what you've been through
    One hour of rain does make me blue
    A Californian through and through
    I'm spoiled as heck but pity you
    For warmer days you're overdue
    Sunny days and thoughts to you.

    1. Yeah but you have to deal with earthquakes too
      That is something I don't want to come due
      Getting sucked through the ground
      From that awful rumbling sound

  24. Funny verse!

    And thanks for your fun contribution to last week's Limerick-Off!

    1. Contribute away
      Each and every day
      Or that would be week
      Just needed a slight tweak

  25. I love winter, and hate summer. I live in the tropics as well as city. It gets might humid here. Though rather redundant as pretty much all A/Cs turned on.

    1. In that case I'd be with you too
      Then I'd like winter to come due
      But here not so much at all
      Have to move to a different hall

  26. Smash a printer? Reminds me of office space

    1. Yep many think of that
      When they read that part by the cat

  27. You say you are cold,
    And you are not old,
    So I have some wisdom for you.
    You could try drinking coffee
    It really isn't awful
    And might make you warm as a stew. :)

    1. Seems everyone is saying that
      For coffee to be drank by the cat
      Or silly old Pat
      But then either of us would get hyper at our mat
      That would not do
      Although it'd be cool if the cat flew