Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Heed The Sign Or Meet The Divine!

The cat or Pat, in this case, may not practice what we preach but still I figured it would be fun to teach. As the J has come to pass and so we take a look at the JAYWALKING class.

Look a nice sunny day,
Drivers can see you from far away.
The crosswalk is way down the road,
Walking an extra fifty feet may overload.

So instead lets dash,
We won't cause a crash.
At least not to us,
For we can be seen by that big bus.

Oops! Maybe not.
Wow that hurt a whole lot.
For five seconds in your head,
As after that you dropped dead.

At least maybe you flew,
When you came into their view.
Going all Dumbo through the air,
That must have been a nice affair.

Then came the free fallin'
And the 911 callin'
The gawkers are bawling,
While death comes a calling.

All because a chicken you tried to best,
Thinking you were faster than the rest.
But in the end just a smudge,
Looking something like fudge.

So if you need to get there fast,
Know that could be a thing of the past.
For you will get nowhere,
If you become as flat as Tupperware.

Hmm fudge on tupperware from a jaywalker. I bet that would deter a stalker. Now thanks to the cat you will never look at fudge the same way again at your mat. Oh the things I do to each and every one of you. The cars may pick off those as slow as a bass but they will never catch my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

139 comments:

  1. You are right-- fudge will never be thought of the same way again!! LMAO.

    Loved it!!

    Cheers, Jenn
    http://www.wine-n-chat.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha sorry for the image in your brain
      I hope it didn't cause too much pain

      Delete
  2. I never liked fudge that much but definitely not now!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There we go
      Made your hatred for it grow

      Delete
  3. I always laugh on how serious some places take jaywalking all the time

    Its a victimless crime

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unless you get run down
      Then your off to dead town

      Delete
  4. so why did the chicken cross the fricken road, and was he lazy and cross in the middle or just crazy, maybe just a little, but when you walk the jay be careful

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He thought the sky was falling maybe?
      So he did not care about the cars he pretended not to see
      And as long as you aren't naked as a jay
      I suppose being careful is okay..haha

      Delete
  5. My mental image of fudge...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha has just gotten worse
      Sorry if I made you curse

      Delete
  6. Damn jay walking is a heinous crime Pat, just kidding haha. Loved this post buddy, great rhymes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes it is such a bad one
      People should be locked up and the electric chair should be spun

      Delete
  7. At least 3 or 4 times a year there is someone that dies from crossing a major highway here. I mean, I get crossing a side road, or even a busy road when the lights say ok. But who the hell crosses a damn highway? Last year I went to a funeral b/c a girl from schools little sister got hit crossing a major highway. I mean, what were you thinking? So sad...

    The city is a whole other thing entirely. I think the cars are the ones in danger from the mobs of people trampling them. LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you, Jax...the city is a completely different ballgame!

      Delete
    2. Yeah trying to cross a major highway
      Is just asking to get rammed into some bay
      Oh squashed so flat
      One can't tell if you are human or cat
      Some people just think they can make it across
      And decide it is worth the coin toss
      Then the headlights come
      And then can kiss their bum
      Goodbye
      Sad indeed but then they are the ones that gave that a try

      LMAO poor cars must feel so abused
      And maybe a tad over used

      Don't go agreeing with her at my sea
      That was not approved by me...LOL

      Delete
    3. Right????? Like, why cross a highway??? For the love of God, you ain't going to be dodging no car speeding at 120!!! Get out of the road!!!!!

      and yes, in the city the cars need to watch out for the people. Drive through China town and I'm pretty sure the crowds overflowing into the streets could pick up car and carry it where it needs to go like a mosh pit!

      and of course L can agree with me!!!! I'd watch out what you were approving after that tale of the unapproved faces island! hahahaha

      Delete
    4. But people are generally lazy and have to cross over
      Like some brain dead rover
      Thinking oh they will stop
      Until they fall over and can do nothing but flop
      Worth walking the extra little bit
      Not to get hit

      Now that would be a sight
      I'm sure the lovebug is light
      So that could really be done
      And they could prob even run
      Not sure how fast though
      But you'd eventually get out of china town row

      Pfft no agreeing at my sea
      It is forbidden by me
      But no one ever listens to the cat
      I guess I am full of strat
      That poor island of unapproved faces
      I'm sure they wish they could go places

      Delete
    5. Uh - oh the cat is getting ready to scratch my face, bringing back horrific childhood memories! LMAO

      Delete
    6. LMAO the cat would only scratch where one can't see
      He would never do the face of thee

      Delete
    7. LOL Don't worry L, we could take a cat ;) hahahahaha

      If Asians come and move my love bug like a mosh pit, they will have a very angry red head on their hands. Hmph!!!!

      Delete
    8. LOL pfft you could never take me
      The cat will just give you a flea
      And you'll scratch your knee
      And leave me be

      hahahaha now that is quite the image there
      One those Asians should not dare

      Delete
  8. Reminds me of traffic in Newyork. It is town full of jaywalkers. These bikers and jaywalkers they always think that they are faster than anyone, without realising that they don't stand a chance forget walking. Chicken a road. Added a new expression there you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well after Jax said the cars should watch out
      And after your shout
      I suppose the jaywalkers win in New York
      And the cars should grow wings like a stork
      That way they could fly over them all
      And get around faster to each hall

      Delete
  9. Some people are just too lazy to cross a street.
    That is why they become dead meat!
    I cross the street according to the law.
    But jaywalking is many a man's flaw!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Depends on where I am I guess
      If it is a small town I will confess
      That I just cross where ever I please
      As I have a higher chance of getting stung by bees

      Delete
  10. Haha awesome title-rhyme!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awesome title too
      R keeps changing it up whatever will I do

      Delete
  11. Yes, a fudge smudge ain't cool... looking like a giant stool.
    And if you're a cat... you don't wanna go splat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah going splat is bad
      More than a tad
      For then no rhymes would be had
      As all that would be left is that Pat lad

      Delete
  12. I think is terrible and so sad!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Terrible indeed
      That many get run down for not taking heed

      Delete
  13. You are a marvel. Great teaching lesson in a fudgy way. My daughter (who is a lawyer) always says, "Cross at the pedestrian crossing. At least that way, your heirs will get the money." (She does lawyer speak)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO well I suppose that is true
      And if you don't die it will all go to you
      Of course you may be royaly screwed
      After being run down by some crazy gal or dude

      Delete
  14. flat as tupperware. haha... that was such a clever ending.
    Overpriced plastic that warps in the dishwasher.
    then the lids don't fit right.

    Ok...got me off on a little tangent rant there.
    We're supposed to be talking about jaywalkers and their dare!
    I wasn't even rhyming either
    but your post here was a pleaser!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha made you rant
      Here at my rhyming plant
      Such fun to do
      As it isn't just me ranting at my zoo..haha
      Made you not rhyme as well
      Things are really going to hell
      At least it was a pleaser
      Next time I should do a teaser

      Delete
    2. rants and teases
      yes, they all pleases
      this place is addicting
      even though pain inflicting
      but still entertaining
      ans no, I'm not complaining
      I'm your biggest fan you know
      although insane you make me go.
      haha.

      Delete
    3. haha so nice to have a number 1 fan at my sea
      Maybe I should put your head coming out of bush number three
      After all number one fans like to hide
      And the bush's crack is rather wide...LMAO

      Delete
    4. oh, that would just look wrong
      so let's not sing that song.
      lol.

      Delete
    5. LMAO yes it wood
      But be done it should

      Delete
    6. wood or would?
      lol...spell it right, you should.

      it should not be done
      that would not be fun
      I'm a goddess after all
      at least in Dez's hall.
      hahahaha.

      Delete
    7. I was at work
      And trying to lurk
      So a wood here or a would there
      Does not matter at my lair..haha
      A big headline act
      The bush with Betsy's head coming out the tush and that is a fact
      Oh I just had an idea from that
      Hmmmm could be an interesting post at my mat

      Delete
    8. just as long as you call me goddess
      I can be a good sport with even the oddest.
      lol.

      Delete
    9. LOL hmmm I may try to work that in
      To what I have planned at my bin

      Delete
    10. but if you forget the whole thing that's fine by me
      maybe you just get way too busy?
      lol.

      Delete
    11. God only knows
      As things keep popping up like crows
      Just when I think one thing is off my plate
      Another comes and seals my fate
      But forget I will not
      As with this idea I am hot to trot

      Delete
  15. "meet the Divine"
    since when is you scheduling people's appointments with me, Cat?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha Dez the Divine
      so sublime
      herding the minions
      that are penguins

      Delete
    2. who is that over above addressing my divinity? Oh, it's my Underworld sister, the Undergodess :) Where is that naughty minion of yours, The Feline Offender? Hunting down rats somewhere for your dinner? :P

      Delete
    3. haha you think he's at my beckoned call, do you? Well, I'm sure he'd say differently. haha. And why do you think I eat rats? Ew. I save those for the cat's treats...but only if he's behaved! lol.

      Delete
    4. Talking about rats once more
      Dez has those on the brain at his shore
      I guess he has an infestation
      At least in my estimation
      And now he is hoping someone will come
      Ridding him of them after my little hum
      Thinking he is all divine
      Pffft maybe at the end of a very long line..hahaha

      Delete
    5. yeah, but I got another new name
      Undergoddess...no need to explain
      although it sounds like some miracle lingerie
      maybe I could sell it and add millionaire to my name list, ok?

      Delete
    6. All right Cat, I'm back and you're now rat poo on toast. Dez is divine when compared to you, because one day you'll just be poo!

      Delete
    7. Hmmm the cat won't get into that one
      He will remain above board in the sun..hahaha
      But if you become a millionare
      Be sure and share with my lair

      Poo and poo somemore
      Threats you seem to explore
      But never ever stop me
      For I always win you see

      Delete
    8. you better hope I'm a millionare
      and have the opportunity to share
      before Anne turns you to only poo
      cuz then I won't have to share with you!

      Delete
    9. Dez and I will turn him to poo and we'll give you his share Betsy. You deserve it for having to put up with him for so long!

      Delete
    10. thanks so much for noticing that
      for with the cat I put up with lots of crap!

      Delete
    11. yes, Betsy, Undergoddess is a lovely name for lingerie, go start a business and 30% is mine :) And admit it that the Cat has never called you a godess like me did :) Only us divine people know how the divine business is done.

      Annzie, pooify him and fertilize your garden roses with him :)

      Delete
    12. Bah the cat will survive
      And come out alive
      While the rest of you just look about
      And end up like mindless trout
      The cat will take a swipe in the sea
      And drown thee
      The alliance will be gone
      And Betsy can send the cat's share to my lawn..haha

      Delete
    13. dez has a point. you've never called me a goddess. lol.
      you've called me sweet, though, does that count, Dez?

      Delete
    14. LOL I leave such things to Fox
      In your comment box

      Delete
    15. it counts, but sweet might mean he wanted to eat you or something, and you know what happens when a cat thinks you're a delicious meal :)

      Delete
    16. oh the fox just calls me doll
      never been a goddess to him at all
      lol.

      true..sweet sounds like you might be lunch
      might turn out badly I have a hunch!

      Delete
    17. careful what you say, the cat might like eating hunches, I hear he ate the hunchback of Notre dam :)

      Delete
    18. Sweet isn't on par with Goddess. The cat is once again falling short in his homage to you Betsy.

      He ate only the back Dez, he's got the hunch mummified and worships it instead of you and Betsy. Isn't he just horrible? The Pope is working on a spell to pooify him right now Dez.

      Delete
    19. I just knew it, dahling, that he would do such an abominable thing :( I'm afraid not even the Pope could help in this case, I mean the Pope being the Prince of Darkness :)

      Delete
    20. I help out some hunched over guy
      And you want the cat to fry
      What is the world coming too?
      And I flushed his hunch down the loo
      It just looked so tasty I had to eat
      And then in the litter box it had a meet and greet
      Pat couldn't fit it in a pringle can
      So it was flushed down the throne of man
      And the Pope
      Pfft what a dope
      He couldn't handle the cat
      I'll derobe him and scat
      Sweet and me don't mix for food
      So I don't think you have to take it as being yummy or rude..haha

      Delete
    21. the hunch was eaten or mumified?
      either way, you're a very strange guy.
      lol.

      Delete
    22. oh, lord, I wouldn't derobe the Pope even if you pay me millions :P I'm not sure who has low standards, here, cat :)

      Delete
    23. haha strange doesn't bother me
      Beats being normal or boring at my sea

      LOL hmmmm the cat would close his eyes
      As he ran off with his evil robe disguise

      Delete
  16. Replies
    1. Not at all
      Squashed as 911 is given a call

      Delete
  17. Sad to know that stupidity doesn't stop at our border =(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope it seems to be all around
      And everywhere it can be found

      Delete
  18. I think we should have crosswalks on every road about every 10 yards or so. That would solve the problem. Well for the pedestrian that is.

    Enjoy your day Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That we be such a drive
      Not sure out make it out alive
      Having to stop every ten seconds for someone to cross
      I'd get road rage and be at a loss..haha

      Delete
  19. Too be honest this one bothered me. It reminded me of when I got hit by that tram. The sound it made when it hit me was horrible and the sound of my knee snapping was even worse. Worse still was the sound of my own screaming. I wasn't jaywalking though.

    Other than scarring me emotionally, this was a good rhyme cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh did not mean to bring such bad memories about for you
      The cat never wants to make one blue
      But you weren't jaywalking though
      And that was the point of this flow

      Delete
    2. oh, sorry to hear that, Annzie dearest :( The sound of knee snapping, that's just horrible. You are my biggest hero! You are!

      Delete
    3. Hero to the penguin man
      That has to make you quite the fan
      No wonder you two get along
      Singing the same old "gonna get the cat" song

      Delete
    4. I'll talk to the Hubby and see if he can write a song about pooifying you cat. It will become the Alliance's National Anthem.

      Delete
    5. it must be done in polka rhythm :)

      Delete
    6. Oh you want to play that way
      While I can do a little diddy about how your alliance will go astray

      I already have an idea too
      Of what could come due

      Delete
  20. Some streets should just never be jaywalked. And anyone who tries deserves to be up for a Darwinian Award--the one for people who get themselves killed before they're allowed to breed. :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO well there is a way of looking at it
      No more breeding will come from them getting hit..haha

      Delete
  21. Dash across the road
    Hope nothing happens
    Push your luck you dope
    You face the consequence

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep it is their own damn fault
      If they end up in the morge vault
      Quite the dope
      As others mope

      Delete
  22. How very sad. You've completely ruined fudge for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that cat is proud of that
      But you can blame poor Pat

      Delete
  23. Good grief. I was turning left (with my right of way but have to yield to pedestrians on the crossing there first) on some lights this morning and traffic at the 3 way stop can go through a red light if it's clear, so an elderly WOMAN driver, impatient and trying to beat me to it, drives through to beat me and she just missed a woman on the pedestrian crossing by about a foot! Well, it must have scared the bejebbers out of this driver because the girl turned and shouted at her and she realised how close she came to mowing her down. She drove on and then pulled off the road onto a driveway and I saw her wipe the sweat off her face as the realisation hit home that through her impatience she nearly killed someone. My goodness, talk about a close call.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crazy friggin drivers in PEI
      Will run you down and make you cry
      Never knew there was road rage over there
      I bet she will no longer move like a hare

      Delete
  24. Wow, what a story! Thanks for sharing. Love the layout of your blog, it's absolutely gorgeous :)

    Sarah Allen
    (my creative writing blog)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad the layout is grand
      Here at my land
      Adn I will always rhyme
      Even about a stupid mime

      Delete
  25. Hmmm "flat as Tupperware" - what kind of Tupperware is the cat using then? Mine is nice and shaped, all the better to actually put something in!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat uses the brand new kind
      The one from his mind
      It is magic and flat
      Just right for the cat

      Delete
  26. haha..flat as tupperware...i like...and you know...i'm all up for jaywalking the moon..or whatever...smiles..if you had seen me in NYC, you knew...smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL a New York jaywalker
      With a Gawker
      That must have been quite the pair
      As you strolled along without a care

      Delete
  27. Flat as 'tupperware'...Now I know why that word always leaves me flat! Thanks, Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha all like the tupperware
      I guess I hit a nerve at my lair

      Delete
  28. Dang! Those drivers should watch where they're going!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes they should indeed
      Plus the nuts should take heed

      Delete
  29. Replies
    1. That I can pretend to be
      Here at my sea

      Delete
  30. I take a walk every day... in LA, so I can definitely relate to this. Drivers around here will murk you up if you don't pay attention. I hear about a hit and run all the time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will keep that in mind
      If I ever find my behind
      Down in L.A.
      On some sunny day

      Delete
  31. I'll think about this post the next time I jay walk =P Maybe I'll walk that extra 50 ft.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well if it is a country road that is fine
      Busy street heed the sign..haha

      Delete
  32. see....'flat as tupperware' is the favorite line!
    who would have thought it would bring such a chime!
    I like Rubbermaid, actually
    cuz the price is better, you see.
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it was quite the hit
      And that just popped in as I went about my fit
      Rubbermaid did not rhyme
      So that will have to be used for another chime..haha

      Delete
  33. When I hear the word jaywalking I'm always, and I mean ALWAYS, reminded of that Lethal Weapon scene. 'We can make it seem like suicide!' Hahahaha! Going all Dumbo through the air... That's funny. And I know a guy who (a) IS a dumbo and (b) did a bit of Dumbo flying when he got his by a car.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO oh that was a good scene
      As they were funny and mean
      To that poor jaywalking guy
      As the cars flew by
      Wow I summed up an actual guy
      Who actually did fly
      Damn the cat is good today
      With his display

      Delete
  34. Crosswalks keep us safe
    And flashing signals too
    Rubber tends to chafe
    When it's running over you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but don't worry your head
      For you will be dead
      So the chafing won't hurt
      As you become one with the dirt

      Delete
  35. Oh my, I have some Tupperware, but it is not especially flat.
    Mine must be 'seconds,' so I think I will donate it to the Cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat will use it as a demonstration
      Of how cars can lead to castration..haha

      Delete
  36. Funny - "Going all Dumbo through the air" - classic!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that worked well
      That and tupperware seem to be a hit at my cell

      Delete
  37. I don't want to be flat
    as a tupperware so I wont splat
    on the ground, when jaywalking
    or stalking a geese round the bend ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You stalk geese too?
      Oh that is something your should not do
      For they can attack you
      And are nasty, it is true..haha

      Delete
    2. I didn't but just stared at him,
      while he was watching his mate
      sit on the egg, right at our rear
      car park. I heard he is very protective
      of his mate..and yeah, he can attack..
      so I will just stare at his devotion ~

      Delete
    3. haha and not get to close
      For he may protect his mate and house
      And go after your toes
      What else? God only knows..haha

      Delete
  38. I think this is the same mentality people have when they try to cross the tracks with the Calgary LRT barreling toward them. Unfortunately they never survive to confirm this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha if only people were wise
      Then they wouldn't be run down like flies

      Delete
  39. I wanted to rhyme but don't have the time!
    Just stopping by to read and say hi :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That works for me
      Thanks for the visit to my sea

      Delete
  40. That's funny, I hadn't thought of jaywalking as a penalty in quite some time, for me lately, thinking about jaywalking makes me think of Claudia's place, but yes, as goes the sign, jaywalking here too is a crime. I remembered hearing stories about people getting fines, but I never actually saw one pay a dime, always thought of it as myths, old wives tales and legends urban, but this tupperware fudge implosion really paints a whole new view, all for fifty feet too. If I jaywalked I'd be hit for sure, no jumps or tumbles or dips or dives, I'd just get run over and I still would survive, just to be taught a lesson. Fun, wonder what K will be, perhaps a key, or a keg or kat, like that alley one, or perhaps you'll use Kuffs and do a misspelled movie run, in any case I'm sure K will be just as fun

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh K will be what you thought was obvious for C
      I just switched it up at bush number three
      And yeah jaywalking did make me think of her place
      But in any case
      It had to be done
      As people try to run
      And get knocked down
      In each and every town

      Great rhyme
      Fun time

      Delete
  41. I like that fallin / 911 callin' a lot!

    I had a Tupperware party once, it was BIG BIG in our neighborhood. We had every SINGLE item in our home, my parents' home, that is.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yeah never knew
      That such a party came due
      And those lines I like too
      At my zoo

      Delete
  42. There is a secret tunnel that goes under my road,
    Because so many people were smashed into a toad
    It goes straight to a gym
    I can walk there on a whim.

    No jaywalking for me
    Toodle ooh...toodle eee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well it isn't much of a secret anymore
      If you told it at my shore
      Now all will know
      And use it to get to your gym show

      Delete
  43. You know I kid around with you a lot cat, but for the record I'd like to say this. You come from a great country. Canada has been good to the Irish throughout history and you're country didn't get the recognition it deserved for it's efforts in WWI. Your engineers did some amazing work for the allies by designing and building trenches. And I mean that seriously, the engineering involved was complicated and brilliant. And if you ask people from other countries if they like Canadians, they all say yes.

    In the future I will deny all knowledge of having complimented you!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now it is on record at my shore
      And will be remembered forever more.
      You can't take it back
      I'll pin it to the wall of my shack..haha

      But yeah the country is grand
      Compared to many in the land
      And all seem to like us
      Causing little fuss
      So that works for me
      I guess canadians just cause glee

      Delete
    2. 'tis true, most people like Canada, it's like a North American Switzerland or something :) And a lot of Serbs live in Canada, especially in Toronto and the part around the lakes.
      My best friend from High School lives in Winnipeg :) Says it's dreadfully boring, but at least she has a nice living standard there :)

      Delete
    3. Yeah the only places in the country that aren't dreadfully boring
      That would leave one snoring
      Are Toronto and Vancouver maybe
      The rest are pretty much the same old same old at any sea
      But then I suppose it is what you want to do
      Or who you're with that make boring go from your view

      Delete
  44. Jaywalking is so infantalising, imaging fining people for crossing the road. I suspect, as ever , that it is the automobile industry behind it all. Crime is big business, like war and drugs. After the original ten commandments laws, with their various stages of development (basically thou shalt not steal, lie in court, and kill) every single law made or passed since has been property based law.Though in England the amount of idiots who just run in front of cars is staggering, i saw this pensioner stroll across like it was a green field, she almost got turned in to fudge. When the driver honked his horn , she gave him the two fingered salute.

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    1. LOL yeah it is so stupid to get fined for such a thing
      And I agree with your ring
      They only use such rules to keep people in place
      And make them remain in the rat race
      It is big business to link with crime
      Keeps their wallets full and pisses off this cat that can rhyme

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  45. Oh man, SO many people jaywalk where I live, it's terrible. ><

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    1. haha guess many want to get run down
      That would surely cause a frown

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