Saturday, April 7, 2012

Stuck In A Line Just Isn't Fine!

It never fails, not even for those with tails. When you are in a rush, no one will mush. Maybe they can take some tips from sled dogs and stop being slow bumps on logs. So for G the grocery store we explore.

The line was long,
The cashier slow.
I'd say he hit the bong,
By his smiley flow.

Plenty of workers around,
Yet only one on the go.
Like a chicken mound,
Who suffered a head blow.

Do it yourself,
With some wax.
Lots on the shelf,
So just relax.

A whistle for dogs,
Some celeb before and now.
Charlie Sheen raises hogs,
And Kutcher has mad cow.

101 sex tips,
You never knew.
Throw out some hips,
Before it is through.

It's what he really wants,
Some decorating advice.
Kids start to taunt,
As they scurry like mice.

A few in the cart,
Feel the itch.
Then they start,
With such a high pitch.

Haggle over a dollar,
Comes into play.
Another starts to hollar,
Guess it wasn't her day.

Or maybe that time,
Judging by her load.
But not even a rhyme,
Will I go down that road.

In comes master pop,
Falling for the ploy.
As his arms flop,
Heavy load = no joy.

Maybe he came,
From that mudville.
After a game,
That left no thrill.

Finally made the crawl,
Unloading to reload.
When the next stall,
Goes into "Open" mode.

The guy behind jumps,
Getting there first.
Taking his lumps,
For his pop thirst.

And out he goes,
Smiling all the way.
For God only knows,
If I'll ever get to pay.

Isn't it such fun at the grocery store? Had to rhyme so it wouldn't be a bore. Slow people should move along and stop with the hits to their bong. The damn self checkout is only one to ten, no good for me or that mother hen. But at least it did not rain that would be a pain. Guess it stayed in Ohio with the smog and decided to avoid my bog. So that trip has come to pass and never fear, the cat looked through every bag, wiggling my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

109 comments:

  1. i like grocery shopping. usually i end up buying more things than i should, just randomly off the shelf ! not good.
    :p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha do they just jump in your cart
      Wanting you to save them from the grocery mart

      Delete
  2. I always laugh when I see you last sentence xD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whether printer or fling
      Always end with such a thing

      Delete
  3. Unloading to reload... hehe that always happens :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes it does seem too
      Whenever a grocery trip comes due

      Delete
  4. I love living here in Akumal, Mexico....but talk about s l o w! I need a shot of btequila to wait in these lines. Great "G" rhyming story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO at least you'll be happy
      And maybe a tad flappy
      With the shot
      Just don't drive if you drink a whole lot..haha

      Delete
  5. May be in grocery stores they should have kids free zone or something like "kids under 18 not allowed" sign. Why does everyone hate kids? Trust me, the feeling is mutual. ;) on the other hand it does increase contraceptioN pills and condom sales. Win-win ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I don't mind them running about
      Maybe a bit when they start to pout
      And cry out into the store
      I suppose it is a win win experience I never even tried to explore

      Delete
  6. Grocery shopping used to be fun. Not anymore, though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah now a days
      It can surely leave you in a haze

      Delete
  7. I have no such problems, people and minions always make room for my Imperial Intergalactic Naughtiness!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right!
      It is more like they run on sight
      So the penguins don't throw poo
      You know it is true

      Delete
    2. My Intergalactic Imperial Naughtiness doesn't notice such petty details... penguins do what they have to do as Imperial Guardians of the Holy Me :)

      Delete
    3. Oh so ignorance is bliss
      You going with that one instead of realizing something is amiss
      Typical ruler you are
      Watch out or you might get hit with a car..haha

      Delete
    4. oh, when Annzie hears you are threatening me with a car hit, she is going to eat you alive :)

      Delete
    5. Pffft you'll forget by the time she gets back
      So she would never cause the cat any flack

      Delete
    6. 'tis true, and she'll probably be under the influence of Irish whiskey, so she will not be back into business for days :)

      Delete
    7. hahaha your alliance is falling apart
      Might need some super glue from walmart

      Delete
  8. LOL @ your dig at Betsy. hahaha

    I've been grocery shopping at Target and Costco. They have much better fruits and veggies. Besides, it's always so crowded in those store that there is no time for high people or slow people. It's move or get run over by an old lady with a shopping cart!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha have to get a dig at Betsy here and there
      Such fun to do at my lair

      Costco we have up here
      But no membership there I fear
      Target is just starting to move in
      So I guess that could be a win
      But it certainly isn't go go go up here
      Canadians must be on a slower gear
      Although some little old lady has tried to run me down once or twice
      Over some sale price..haha

      Delete
    2. Ohh Target is amazing!!!! I say everyone should boycott Walmart and go to Target instead ;) Except for you. You won't be finding no cracks up in Target. LMAO

      I like Costco's lifetime supply of blueberries!! Yum :)

      Delete
    3. LOL well Target is coming here
      Although all are in a uproar far and near
      Over the job lose at the other store
      As they are taking over Zellers at our shore
      And maybe here it will be reverse
      And Target will get the perverse..hahaha
      Blueberries you can keep
      The whole friggin heap..haha

      Delete
  9. I usually choose what I think will be the shortest wait; but so often it ends up being the longest with some glitch in checkout...and it's after I've unloaded my stuff so I can't even move! Grocery shopping is not for sissies!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yep every time you find the shortest line
      It ends up being not so divine
      Then you get stuck there forever
      It fails almost never

      Delete
  10. Standing at a grocery queue
    Can be a big laugh for you
    The antics of people you see
    Are just truly and plainly funny
    Items picked without the bar code
    The staff sent on a searching mode
    Those with Credit Card payments
    Took ages for verifications
    Arguments on discounts on offer
    That got rejected at the counter
    Tolerance level of those in line
    Had better be, smiles without a whine!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah their tolerance level has to be high
      As some people wish for them to die
      Seen a crazy a time or two
      And I suppose it is quite fun to view
      As long as one has no where they need to be
      Then it could make them a little crazy

      Delete
  11. 101 sex tips??? what interesting! LOL
    have a nice day :))))

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    Replies
    1. don't they have that in your checkout aisle, gloria?
      the things we can learn while we wait to pay for our groceries! hahaah

      Delete
    2. LOL Gloria needs to gawk more
      And maybe she will see them in her grocery store

      Delete
    3. yeah, with those tips she could make someone happy
      or maybe a little sappy.
      ha.

      Delete
    4. LOL maybe she already knows the tips
      And just goes straight for the chips

      Delete
    5. What you talking about?? Maybe I dont need tips lol, who know, anyway Im sexy, lol :)

      Delete
    6. haha Betsy started it
      So blame her for this bit

      Delete
    7. Oh, of course you are
      I started it but Pat took it too far
      but it's always fun to learn somethine new
      that could bring a smile or two.
      lol...oh now, that was funny. haha.

      Delete
    8. LMAO who took it too far?
      I believe you just raised the bar..haha

      Delete
    9. did I make you blush?
      ok, I will hush.
      still made me giggle some.
      see, standing in line can be fun!

      Delete
    10. Me blush..hahaha never
      It was very clever

      Delete
    11. me leaves you two for just a half a day and look what kind of naughty paths are you leading poor Gloria onto :)

      Delete
    12. Gloria gave the path a nudge a bit
      And so we decided to go with it

      Delete
  12. Oh you nailed it alright.
    Down here we have the same plights.
    20 aisles with 3 open,
    lines galore and people hoping
    they'll move fast
    but alas
    that's not the case
    nobody makes haste.

    And yeah, at least we have the aisle trinkets to amuse us
    while we stand at let them abuse us
    What would we do without National Enquirer
    to tell us where the stars ate their last dinner?

    Yes, be glad it doesn't rain on you
    as that curse belongs to Betsy Lou
    Actually it's Betsy Anne
    like the girl in Ireland.
    I never go without my umbrella in tow
    cuz being wet makes my mood so low
    I take it even if the sky is blue
    cuz I know better, between me and you.

    The smog is up near Cleveland
    not down here in Mayberry land
    at least we can breathe
    although we do sneeze.
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WOW I got a rant out of you
      That is surely fun to do
      Just mention the grocery store
      And I can hit a nerve at your shore hahaha
      Hate how they have all those aisles there
      And not even half are open at their lair
      It is pretty pointless indeed
      I guess they are just there for times of greed
      When so called sales come
      And people want them so bad they'll sell their own thumn
      Plenty there to amuse
      And it lets me abuse
      So I guess it is okay
      Still a pain at times when I want to be on my way
      Just like Irish Air
      Maybe you can have another twin at your lair
      After all you got the bloody wanker down
      Now just go get drunk on the town...hahaha
      The smog is far away
      Well I suppose that is better than at your bay
      No acid rain to eat through your umbrella
      Or some poor fella

      Delete
    2. yep today I was pretty chatty
      and the topic was so tacky.
      I am a grocery expert after all
      takes a lot to feed the men at my hall.
      And now I buy a ton of catfood, too
      at least lifting the bags counts as a workout, too.
      Nice to multitask while doing chores
      and dodging raindrops galore.

      and how nice of you to walk the mutt
      so he doesn't get a great big gut.
      Is Orlin dry from lots of spitting
      and maybe a little hissing?

      Delete
    3. haha yeah doing two in one
      As you lift a ton
      Of food for your crew
      And your backyard zoo
      Nope he's still hissing away
      And slapping the cats that get near him at this other bay..haha

      Delete
    4. you didn't even mention the worst part of the shopping
      which is the cost... truly eye popping!
      But that could be a post all alone
      as we agree, hiss and moan.
      lol.

      Delete
    5. Yeah I decided to forgo that
      For all make their bank accounts go flat
      As things keep going up and up and up
      Drives one right to their coffee cup

      Delete
  13. You have written about the one thing that frustrates me week in and week out! No matter where I shop - Wally Hell or at the commissary, I leave mad. Hmmm, maybe it's my fault LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha always leave mad
      I guess a fun time is never had
      Unless you tell off some poor lad
      Then that may be rad..haha

      Delete
    2. You may be on to something Pat - pick on the innocent! Grand idea

      Delete
    3. hahahaha just don't run them down too much though
      You don't want any tears to flow

      Delete
  14. so i need a copy of one certain book, but spend too much time on my stalk gawk, you got me on the hook early on with that as i love watching the short, tall skinny and fat, no lines dont bother, wont make me holler i just smile and think of what i'll write tonight...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I guess I was a gawker today
      Stealing a bit of power from your bay
      As it did lead to this display
      And it was quite fun to have my say
      So there could be something to this gawker thing
      That you continually give a ring

      Delete
  15. I done my time working at a grocery store

    3 lazy managers eating donuts, while there's only 1 bagger and cashier on the floor. Ironic that bookstores have more help than they do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yeah it is pretty sad
      50 people standing around waiting on one lad
      When they have tons sit on their ass
      Yapping about the latest sass

      Delete
  16. nice...the best places to write poetry are the lines in a grocery store..and regarding that book...smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL the book is always there
      Don't they run out of their 101 way flair?..haha
      I suppose it is a good place
      As you move at such a slow pace

      Delete
    2. Relax with wax eating flax

      Delete
    3. Yeah that just sounds wrong
      I hope it's strong...haha

      Delete
  17. I don't like going to the grocery store
    But now I have to buy for one more
    Add dog food to the cart
    Throw in treats and toys while at Walmart.

    I will be broke
    From buying all of this stuff
    And at the end of the day
    All he says is "Ruff."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah have to get stuff for the cat
      Even though he'd rather play with the mat
      Or some simple box
      Or chew on my socks
      So may as well not go broke
      Or give them something to make them choke

      Delete
  18. Replies
    1. Something completely new from R
      Things really are going far

      Delete
    2. LOL stunned from you too
      What next? Will R say moo..haha

      Delete
  19. Nice poem! it didnt make sense, but i guess thats what poems do. but now everything sounds all rhyme-y! i guess you are just that good!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I am crazy
      So if your eyes go hazy
      That is simply that
      As it always happens at my mat

      Delete
  20. Nice. And I can almost count on the line suddenly slowing down as soon as I step into it. Ugh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yep that always seems to be the way
      No matter the time or day

      Delete
  21. I take my time, and have learned to do several smaller stops. Those huge shopping trips deplete me. It helps if you have smaller (not chain) stores nearby that stock produce and dairy.

    If you have the time, your cat(s) might like the animated movie I reviewed for my G word. ("Gay Purr-ee", vintage 60s animation with voices of the day. The lead actress is Mewsette, a nice provincial cat that wants to see Paris).

    Liked the rhyme.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is a good plan
      Of which I am a fan
      But not of dairy
      That is just scary
      Sure the cat always has time
      And will come for a chime

      Delete
  22. I hate going to the grocery store, it's such a horrible bore. If I ever lose my mind, I won't be kind - I will ram that cart into all the slow poke old farts! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO you might break their hip
      And surely get some lip
      They also might sue
      So not a good plan from you..haha

      Delete
  23. It's amazing the crazy things that floods into your mind when you're just simply out at the store isn't it Pat? Awesome rhymes for damn good times!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep just standing there waiting to pay
      And Pat's mind is always at play

      Delete
  24. hits on the pipe while at work makes the mind lurk
    i have an image of hookah turk
    this isn't a racial thing; i'm only looking to rhyme a little
    give me the bong and register and i'll just play the fiddle
    i wouldn't argue over a dollar
    but i might make the impatient holler
    and then my boss would drag me away by the collar

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well it is better than the ear
      That would hurt and people would peer
      I suppose they'd do that anyway
      For your bonged up display
      Although a dollar saved would be nice
      Especially if you did it twice

      Delete
  25. Going to a grocery shop can be a really pain. I always end useless stuffs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah a lot of useless stuff can jump in
      That just clutters up ones bin

      Delete
  26. Ahgh! I have to go to the store after this! NO!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha at least you are prepared now
      And maybe it will go fast some how

      Delete
  27. I must admit my rhyming words,
    are based on your inspiration,
    and google tips on rhyming words,
    and grocery shopping is not a fun,
    specially with everyone lining up
    because yesterday and tomorrow are
    holidays. It ain't fun as my rhyming post,
    and cheered by rhyming cat and Pat ~

    Happy Easter ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I gave inspiration at my sea
      Oh that causes such glee
      Pfft never use google for a rhyme
      As that is just a crime
      The cat can beat google any day
      Here at his bay
      And yep not much fun
      But it makes a rhyme spun
      And happy easter as well
      To you at your cell

      Delete
    2. A crime you say,
      but it helped me rhyme at my bay,
      I will use it sparingly, but peek
      at your blog to borrow some words to speak
      my mind, though its hard to rhyme
      my comments now as I am tired
      from this April daily writing poems :-)

      Delete
    3. haha steal from me all you like
      As you take the rhyming hike
      For the cat beats poor google anyday
      Using that just causes dismay..haha

      Delete
  28. Lines are just so delightful. But at least you got some great rhymes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it gave me some fun rhymes
      So it wasn't all bad times

      Delete
  29. I just went to the grocery store today. We were in the very line of which you wrote.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That really sucks indeed
      Sorry to remind you of it at my feed

      Delete
  30. I always go for slow cashiers over those horrid self service check-outs...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah me too
      Those things are awful and take forever to come due

      Delete
  31. Yeah. I can't figure out why only one cashier is open when the lines are snaking to the back of the store. Crazy! And what's with the smog in Ohio? What are you talking about, "smog in Ohio?" LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Ohio has the highest smog index in the whole country down there below us
      So that is surely what happens with my smog fuss

      Delete
  32. I had to go to Walmart early this AM. Hate that store with a passion but often necessary. All those check-out aisles and only one lit up and no cashier. I found a guy carrying a clip board, wearing high-water trousers (looked like a manager) and asked where the cashier was. He ran around the store for a full 5 minutes trying to find one. Figure that one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pffft sounds like they were really on the ball
      At their walmart hall
      If the ball is off bouncing down the street
      Did you at least get a walmart greet..haha

      Delete
  33. I'd like to hear 101 sex tips, lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just go down some grocery aisle
      And you'll get such a smile

      Delete
  34. Going to the grocery store is just so darn tedious

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That it can be
      Making one want to flee

      Delete
  35. By rhyming about not going there, I think you went there. Haha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would be a good guess
      I will confess

      Delete
  36. People watching is the only thing to do when there's a long line. Take the line near the magazines. ;) Watch the occasional drama of other people's frustration.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yeah that is pretty much the thing to do
      Watch others get blue
      And so you don't as well
      And it isn't such a hell

      Delete
  37. Paper or plastic
    Who gives a hump
    Things just got drastic
    I've got to take a dump!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh everything is worse
      You'll even curse
      When you got to go
      Things are always slow

      Delete
  38. I've always hated grocery shopping. Those lines were enough to make me leave my cart there, all full and well, which I did one time, but I just drove across the street to the other place, which is terrible so the line was quick. Anyhow, since I've been out of work with my injuries, I shop different now. I go to the store everyday, just to get out for an hour or two before mister painkiller takes the rest of my day from me. So, that said, I buy one to 5 items as needed and always qualify for the express lanes now. But somedays, that big huge woman with nine children always seems to park here 1000 items or more in the 7 items or less, and the stupid checkout clerks always seem to ignore the people behind her with the one to four. Happens all the time, so things aren't always brighter in the other lanes. And hey, you should have asked for Casey's autograph….nah, he'd probably miss the paper and sign the fur, which ink must take forever to come out, long time not to purr.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yeah signing on my fur
      Would not make me purr
      I HATE when they do that too
      It says 1-10 items clearly in view
      But then they have a ton
      And the stupid clerks don't make them run
      They let all suffer their crap
      Because they can't count or are a lazy chap
      The moron with nine kids should go the other way too
      But alas it never comes due

      Delete
  39. wonderful blog...enjoyed reading your posts! keep it up !

    ReplyDelete