Tuesday, September 4, 2012

I Simply Find You All Have A dVerse Dirty Mind!

The first edition with free admission of the ABC's of Rhyme Time.

Let's see what I can do today. To get you all in the mood at the dVerse bay. Hmmm what do you think? Should I bring you all to the brink. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. So let's make sure it doesn't turn to paste. Just remember you thought it not me. I was just rhyming as usual at my sea.

A is quite crass that I will say.
Don't tell a lass she has a large display.
B might give you a stitch should you spout.
Leaving you with a glitch, come now don't pout.

C to be blunt brings me no joy
Your growth will stunt, so don't utter it boy.
D is rather ick if you don't aim.
Big as a brick, might bring you fame.

E for pure detection I'll use it I guess.
Can blow an election and leave quite a mess.
F surely does not suck in at least one way.
But if no luck, at least it's fun to say.

G you can slam but there is no gain,
For toe jam could result from you being so vain.
H is quite swell should you be in need.
Down the well is cheaper than making them bleed.

I is rather skimp on lackluster terms.
So those opposite of blimp can eat some worms.
J causes flack and harks back to A.
Utter the attack have a donkey fine day.

K thwarts the mooch and their greed.
Tell them to scootch and plant the seed.
L strikes the bard with a crass thrill.
No need to look hard for you'll get your mass fill

M like another won't make your lips pucker,
Unless unlike your brother you are a hillbilly trucker.
N a kick to the gut proves you a hack.
Go for the butt, forward not back.

O continues sarcasm at least a bit.
But with a spasm it sure can spit.
P can stall bliss when easily found.
Make sure you don't miss when women are around.

Q might make you peer and rightfully so.
So with a tear I let this one go.
R gets you a trim on your corn cob.
At least on a whim it was called that by Bob.

S is a hit with the Imodium crew.
Should there be a fit they are right there for you.
T causes a fit should you be two.
For those with wit have had them in view.

U makes me sputter for a second or so.
But in the gutter your mind will still go.
V harks to poor China and their mess.
Relieve my angina and give more not less.

W is a heavy anchor to bare.
New or old banker, neither are rare.
X won't curl those lovely locks.
Give it a whirl and just hit Xerox.

Y offends a fellow in the old west.
With a bellow it brings forth a test.
Z finally lifts you to the heights of a hero.
But getting none of my rifts makes you a zero.

So your mind is wasted with my flow for in the gutter you were surely to go. If your delicate mind I did offend, sorry I'm not about to amend. Take it up with your own self for you put the words in there at your shelf. I simply spun a lovely abc mass. But now I'll sign off typically with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

86 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Back on the ball
      With being #1 at my hall

      Delete
  2. A it makes my day
    No.#1 at your bay
    B also No.#1 at Brian's
    C the feeling's fine
    D the lurking's a success
    E done me no mess!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Still missed 21 letters or so
      And also #1 at Brian's show
      Damn you got the luck
      Or are just good at being a stalking duck
      Just don't quack
      Might give the bystanders a heart attack hahaha

      Delete
  3. big as a brick will bring more pain than fame...just sayin'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha well sense the cat is snip snip
      He won't get such lip

      Delete
  4. go for the butt forward not back....hmm....spitting spasms batman my minds in the trashcan, nice spin on the alphe-bit in all its glory and grit

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sending you to the gutter isn't that hard to do
      But fun to make happen with all the abc's in view

      Delete
  5. Your R got to me:
    'R gets you a trim on your corn cob'...just where is this corn cob...haha
    Now I've learned m ABC's ;) (and P's & Q's too)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha your mind really went to the gutter
      Maybe the corn cob needs some butter

      Delete
  6. UVWXYZ really cracked me up Pat, amazing job on how you got around that dude, great rhyming as usual. A is for the blog that's favoured by me done by P. This rhyme sucks so I'll start again with C, I don't know any other letters so I guess that's it from me haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they were harder to do
      As swear words there are only a few
      Clearly it was gotten by you
      With the abcs there that came due haha

      Delete
  7. I see what you did here. Quite clever of you cat! You filthy, clever, furry cat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Flithy and clever
      Now there is an endeavor
      The cat likes that
      Here at his mat

      Delete
  8. A brilliant display
    done the abc way
    and yes I'm in the gutter
    but so is my brother.
    lol....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh brilliant once more
      Here at my shore
      That adds to the ego rise
      Making me oh so wise
      Yes, your twin is easy to get there
      He goes to the gutter without a care

      Delete
    2. Oh, I'm sure he's not alone
      with a healthy dose of testosterone.
      lol....

      Delete
    3. haha the cat has been snipped though
      So less testosterone to show

      Delete
  9. What a sassy way to display
    an array of ABC to tweak and play
    with our minds on this first day
    of school and work after Labor Day ~

    Happy Tuesday ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah work
      Is no perk
      School
      Is so uncool
      So why not go
      For an abc swearing show haha

      Delete
  10. Well of course my mind went right to the gutter
    and my heart was even a flutter
    when I read the part about leaving a mess
    but maybe that I shouldn't confess....

    ~so, what? I leave for awhile and you change up the place? I suppose I like it. No, seriously, it looks really good, Pat. Easier on the eyes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha those meds must have went to your head
      As your heart flutters in bed
      Confess away
      The cat allows all at his bay
      And easier on the eyes?
      Are you once more wearing your second eye disguise? haha

      Delete
    2. She's not a cyclops you horrid, filthy flea bitten bag of bones!

      Delete
    3. Have you forgotten I am a sexy princess warrior elf?
      Or are you to afraid to admit the truth to yourself?
      Anne speaks only the truth when she says
      you are flea bitten, thank God they stay at your bay.
      ha ha ha

      Delete
    4. We've got a bit of a problem Elsie because I turned the Cat into a god in my new story. He's not only the Eternal King of Canada, he's an immortal god. Jesus Christ, what have I done....

      Delete
    5. Bah, she so is
      Her one eyed biz
      Always going to be that way
      Here at my bay
      You can't run from the truth
      Not even to some rump Trump boot
      A god works well for that cat
      He totally agrees with that

      Delete
    6. I finally got your cloak done right Cat so now I can start on the fun stuff. The face and all that gold I'm giving you. Bloody hell, I'm a complete eejit for being this nice to you!

      Delete
    7. haha being an eejit is fine
      When you are nice to the feline
      Can't wait to see
      The godly rendition of me

      Delete
    8. You're going to be insufferable after this aren't you!

      Delete
    9. haha oh yes the cat will never let you live it down
      After you've given him such a godly crown

      Delete
  11. Enjoyed this when I took a look
    I can only imagine the time it took
    but these ain't for no children's book!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL no that is true
      The parents would slap me blue

      Delete
  12. A could
    B for C
    as it has
    a crack
    which we see
    when bent
    over you
    shall be.

    For P is
    for probe
    and S is
    for shite.
    Oh what
    a fright
    that will be
    here at your sea.

    I made probing arse jokes Cat. Let the filth fly!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL still had those aliens on the mind
      And had to bring out the behind
      But if you lust
      After a probe gust
      I can surely make due
      And hand over a clue
      For B is rare
      And totally bare
      Pay a fare
      And I'll show you one will no hair
      Use D of dime
      To increase your time
      Just pop a coin in
      And you could win
      Who knows what would come out
      Could start with P or S but you'll shout

      Delete
    2. Christ Almighty Cat the whole picture of your shaved arse is too horrid to contemplate. And as for sticking a dime in it-no feckin' way!!

      Delete
    3. Well I have to pay for my pringle cans some way
      And you did ask for the filth the fly at my bay hahaha

      Delete
  13. This is awesome!!!!! Schools around the nation will be wondering how the little school children got such dirty minds at such tender ages just be learning their ABC's. LOL!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha the cat better hide for a while
      For if the kids start talking vile
      The parents may try and hunt me down
      I'll be sure and fill my pringle cans with something brown

      Delete
  14. You make the alphabet fun! I quite enjoyed it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha glad you could enjoy
      As the cat remained a tad coy

      Delete
  15. haha...you know...we have such a funny ABC song in german..came to my mind when reading this...and Z for me always stands for Zorro...ha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well if the gutter made it come to mind
      I'm sure it would be funny to my little rhyming behind
      Never mess with Zorro though
      For he might chop off what's down below

      Delete
  16. Hey! I love the new look! And you are too silly~ :D <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha glad you like the new look
      And always silly/crazy at my nook

      Delete
  17. I think I need another vacation after reading that. Lol

    Those dirty, dirty minds!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha bah you already had one
      And dirty minds are fun

      Delete
  18. Hahaha! Guilty as charged. My mind is in the gutter!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha damn I'm good
      Market this one I should

      Delete
  19. Replies
    1. haha damn look what I can do
      When the gutter is in view

      Delete
  20. Nice to see you're not catering for the maiden aunt market!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Very clever ABCs!
    This rhyme fan was quite pleased. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pleased that you are pleased too
      Here at my zoo

      Delete
  22. Just how do you do this Pat?? I just want to get inside your head for a bit--

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not much room left in my head
      At least that is what the voices said

      Delete
  23. They claim the mind to be a terrible thing to taste as well
    But somehow I imagine yours being quite swell
    Don't mean to go all Hanibal on your wall
    blame it on the seasons as we look to Fall.
    The c word came close to me laughing outloud
    Not a hard thing to do when you run with this crowd
    Always a hoot and lots of fun
    This poet's now gone, and this rhyme is done ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL always fun to be had
      Here at my pad
      And Hannibal is fine
      Except ignore to sequels when visiting the feline

      Delete
  24. It's like a mini A-Z blogging montage...but cooler

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A Mini A-Z
      And Cooler I can be
      Works for me
      At my sea

      Delete
  25. Replies
    1. Teaching all to play
      And put their minds in the gutter for a day haha

      Delete
  26. Very clever word weaving here, you dirty cat you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha like to be a dirty cat
      And weave words away at my mat

      Delete
  27. Yep, I have a very dirty, dirty mind. ._.

    Confirmed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad your dirty mind
      Could be confirmed by my behind

      Delete

  28. YOU Da alpha . . . bet baby - for real . . .

    this A to Z os family friendly

    pornography! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL family friendly pornography
      I may have to steal that at my sea

      Delete
  29. jus glad your chosen vocation isnt teaching...smiles...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The kids would learn something though
      But I might get fired for into the gutter I'd go haha

      Delete
  30. A - is for the way my libido fell.
    because it went straight to
    L - and I would have known that, you see
    but I had to go
    P - So I read your poem without a glitch and
    H - came along without a hitch.
    but no dirty thoughts came today
    not even with the s, the t or the
    A - but ass would be nice
    and tits would be twice
    if just only it could
    B - At the age of fifty three
    there's a bit lacking in me
    so i can only offer - an
    E - and hope someday
    lust will return my way
    so I can once again play, with "a" and
    T -

    Pat, Yes. I have a dirty mind. But it does me absolutely no good!


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL maybe you need a thrill
      Could go pop a little pill
      Then hours of fun could be had
      All day at your pad
      Dirty thoughts I could see
      That came from you easily

      Delete
  31. hahaha. awesome write. I've done the abc's before, and It's fun to do here and there, but the humor infused in this one, must have been quite the fun to write, but also difficult to find that one word or two to meet up with the abc delight. I always found myself using the same words here and there for the v's, x's q's and z's of the abcs. Great piece, had me laughing, which is always a good thing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they are fun to do
      And it was fun as the humor did ensue
      Some of the letters can be a pain
      But I just let the rhymes come like rain

      Delete
  32. haha the semantics of rhyming, I love it!!! We used to have a rhyming dictionary when i was growing up and we would just sit and make really long rhymes based off every word we saw, it was so fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha semantics can be played upon well
      Although I can make things go to hell
      That sounds grand
      Sure many a long rhyme was made up in your land

      Delete
  33. took me a while to decode these :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha guess your mind is less dirty than some
      Like my little rhyming bum

      Delete
  34. Clever and witty as always,
    even liked the apology at the end
    Have to say in many ways
    reminded me of Shakespeare, Pat, my friend:

    "If we shadows have offended,
    Think but this, and all is mended,
    That you have but slumber'd here
    While these visions did appear."

    Excerpt from speech delivered by Puck
    how is that for just plain luck?
    (okay, we'll end that stream of rhyming here!!)

    Another fun one, Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that was a fun quote
      And something of note
      Always liked Puck
      As he was a tricky umm duck
      Can remind you of him too
      Damn I'm good at my zoo haha

      Delete
  35. Well, I clearly have a dirty mind, I deciphered this way to well. What a way to remember your alphabet, rather icky and blunt, but then I'd have to admit that my mind is done. There is certainly a clever and tricky little cat at this bay.

    ReplyDelete