Saturday, September 1, 2012

Open 24 Hours. Sun or Showers!

So Pat had a bout of insomnia a while ago with the crap bed at his show. But that has since been taken care of and out the door he gave it a shove. Anyway, Walmart is open 24hrs here and Pat thought it would be funny to put the car in gear and go see, if anyone was actually there at around two or three. In the morning that is for those who are slow and not a whiz.

Lord and behold,
I've struck gold.
For Santa has come,
Wait! That's just a drunk bum.

Boy can he bicker.
Using the chair of wicker.
I guess his sleigh,
Has seen a better day.

Look there is creepy eyes.
Damn! That guy could attract flies.
The clerk is asleep,
Snoring too, so must be rather deep.

Sounds like she swallowed an ass,
That is a donkey so I'm not being crass.
Who said women don't snore?
Go to Walmart and you'll prove that wrong galore.

You can hear her aisles away.
Maybe they should put earplugs on display.
They may get an extra sale.
With that windbag without fail.

A haggler too.
Like she has a clue?
I mean really?
The walmart guy looks like he wants to cop a feely.

A couple squawk with noodles,
As they replenish oodles.
You know those pool things?
Something like water wings.

Except those noodles sting.
Try getting whacked with those at your wing.
Parrots squawk from somewhere,
About their frayed hair.

Well that is what they sound like.
Some guy rides around on a kids bike.
When he is like six feet tall.
Gangly Dumpty also had a great fall.

Knocked over a clothes rack.
Brains some surely lack.
And on my walk,
Comes a shock.

As there is a cat call,
From a whale that is wide and tall.
That does it.
Only go when outside it is lit.

Otherwise sit at home,
In the comfort of your dome.
For Walmart at night is a fail.
Just stick with ordering by mail.

See what insomnia can do? Sadly, this is all true. I guess the creepers do come out at night and they can cause a fright. The cat refuses to give Pat the keys especially if he has whales singing out the birds and the bees. Enough animals at my bay. No need for more to join the fray. Plus it was a complete waste of gas. He should have stayed home with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

42 comments:

  1. I love this Pat, it's even better than going onto that People of Walmart site. The cat in Walmart is something that's been done right. Sorry about your insomnia though, I hope it's sorted soon bro.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it went away
      When I got a new bed at my bay
      The people at walmart are scary
      Some are even excessively hairy

      Delete
  2. What!!!!!! I'm ill for a while, I come back and everything's changed??? You've been busy, Pat. If you've struck gold, I must be getting... old.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you're back
      And posting once more at your shack
      Yeah I spent a weekend changing stuff around
      As I couldn't do much else at my dirt mound
      Wish I had struck gold
      Then I'd send work out into the cold

      Delete
  3. I love it! Can't wait for the conference too, it's going to be great. And I'm 100% with you on the boob sweat. It's just plain unnecessary!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm and hmmmmm some more?
      Anyone get this encore?

      Delete
  4. Insomnia is fine, we'll get all the sleep we'll need when we're dead!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is very true
      Although it can suck when it lasts a while between me and you

      Delete
  5. haha i have been at walmart at the wee hours of the morning and it should have a label wearing a warning, its def not boring though your eyes may wish you didnt dish that dish...def dont expect much better at the mall on fridays its the loonies hay days...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yep a warning should go up
      Or take an aggressive pup
      To scare the crazies away
      Will avoid the loonies also on a friday

      Delete
    2. Should have known my twin would do that sin
      shopping after hours, oh where do I begin? ha.
      Don't like malls on any day
      I shop online like a hermit at my bay.

      Delete
    3. haha hermit is the way to be
      Less of a hassle for thee
      But then you have to wait
      And things could arrive late

      Delete
  6. Haven't ever been in a 24-hour walmart. All ours here close midnight, I think. But I can imagine just who would be out after midnight...
    You captured the clientele well!
    I'd rather stay home with insomnia hell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yes the hell is much more grand
      Then night time walmart land
      Avoid forever I will
      As it just makes you ill

      Delete
    2. Mary must live in a small town

      all the walmarts near me stay open until the paint turns brown.

      Delete
    3. haha yeah that she must
      But at least she doesn't have to put up with such a scary trust

      Delete
  7. the things that you see, Pat! many years ago, my editor had this bright idea of checking out the scene at the local Tesco hypermarket at 4am when hypermarkets were given allowed to operate 24 hours. so they sent me. annoyed, i went and when i returned i was even more annoyed because if i had seen or heard half the things you've just described, the trip would be have been worth it. oh well, a few weeks later, the closing time for hypermarkets went back to normal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha so you know the scary sights that show
      The creepers really do come out and on the go
      As the night lurks around
      Maybe they should hang out at the pound

      Delete
  8. insomnia has its uses ....smiles...delhi is amazing that way...you can go out at 2 at night and like most capital cities..it doesn't feel like its late night...amazing amount of traffic and people...the night clubbers...call center crowds...and so well lit...its astounding...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well it is well lit here
      That is all I fear
      Not a ton out and about
      Just the weirdos that I shout

      Delete
  9. Too many "teens" overnight at Walmart here
    Managers found a solution
    They used some kind of high frequency cheer
    And gave them sound pollution.

    (Seriously! Somehow high pitched sounds irritate young people but not us oldsters. Cheaper than security guards, too.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha well that works
      Scare away the teen lurks
      And maybe it's because older people have less hearing
      So they find the sound endearing haha

      Delete
  10. Its great to see that people are sharing quite profitable information with each other and now we can move our selves to a new era.

    Beautiful,delicate,enigmatic

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hard to imagine Walmart's even worse at night, but I'll take your word for it and steer clear of snoring women who swallowed asses.

    PS Fun rhyme, and thanks for the warning.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it is very very scary at night
      In the day time here it's not a fright
      And glad you like the rhyme
      Warning you and saving you a dime

      Delete
  12. I'll take your advice and steer clear of the snoring ladies and senile Santas lurking at Walmart in the wee hours of the morning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the best bet
      As you will fret
      And after your scary mime
      I think you should avoid such things for a time haha

      Delete
  13. I cannot imagine what type of folks want to shop in the middle of the night.. freaky indeed. Furthest I'd go with insomnia is to my kitchen to put the kettle on...lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha at least it made a good post
      But yeah stay where you host
      It is scary out there
      When you leave your lair

      Delete
  14. Walmart opens at 24 hours when its close to Christmas but
    I don't wander there at night specially when I have insomnia
    Creepy people at night, inside and out in the streets ~

    Have a good long weekend Pat ~ Thanks for the support always ~

    Cheers ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah avoid it you should
      Scary enough in my hood
      Up there God only knows
      What kind of scary sight shows

      Delete
  15. Walmart is scary enough during the day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Here it is just fine
      I guess it is more scary down the line

      Delete
  16. Replies
    1. R returns to my sea
      I guess he causes glee

      Delete
  17. hahaha Oh, I imagine it'e not the same place at all
    when the sun goes down at it's hall
    you know the saying "Nothing good happens after midnight"
    I guess you proved it with your night shopping fright!
    lol.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep I surely proved that fact
      With my late night shopping act
      Not a place to go
      Unless you are looking for a horror show

      Delete
  18. Hahaha...reminds me of those Walmart pictures.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankfully no pictures were had
      That would scare many away more than a tad

      Delete