Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Such A dVerse Cheat. I Will Still Make Them Suffer Defeat!

So in case all of you didn't know because dVerse is keeping it on the down low, they installed a few game machines there. They really make the cat swear. Those things are rigged I say. But they will not win no matter how much I have to pay.

For a simple buck,
You can test your luck.
Line up the blocks in a row,
Make them all keep their glow.

Then you win a prize.
We tell you no lies.
It is so easy a monkey could win.
Oops! You lost, what a sin.

For another buck,
You could test your luck.
I mean you already tried,
You know where the tricks hide.

Care to try once more?
Could wind up at some foreign shore.
Damn! You lost again.
Such is the fate of men.

Third time is the charm.
What's the harm?
Just another buck.
Care to try your luck?

You found two ways to lose,
Through it this time you'll cruise.
And on that note,
You may even hop a boat.

Picture a cruise getaway.
So what do you say?
Oh! So close, yet so far.
Maybe you should try the bar.

I'm just kidding with you.
Four is ever so true.
That is your number I bet.
So don't runaway and fret.

For another buck.
You can once more try your luck.
Now that you've drained all the bad.
Good luck must be had.

Give it one more try.
I bet you don't die.
Rats! I was so wrong.
And you won for so long.

Only to end up back at the start.
Doesn't that just break your heart?
But you will survive.
Let's go for five.

Just another buck,
And you can test your luck.
Crap! Ever so close.
Almost won a house.

Oh! Almost once more.
Damn! Could have went to the shore.
Wow! You almost had it that time.
Oh! Losing is such a crime.

What is that?
Your wallet is flat?
Hey dude, want to try your luck.
It costs just a buck.

The joke is on them though for I knew they would cheat at their show. So I stole the tip jar, meaning I'm still on par. They weren't going to get a dime for committing such a crime. The next time I get admission I will bring the lottery commission. That will get some sass and still make me a winning little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. ha you found the game room, where cars go zoom and enemies go boom....its all there to suck a quarter, maybe 20 years ago, those things are expensive these days and make your money blow

    1. Yeah now they cost a ton
      And when game over is spun
      Suck way more money out of you
      So avoid them I do

  2. first at your dock
    fast as a microwave
    others slow as a crock pot

    1. haha never saw it put like that
      Surely a new first cheer at my mat

  3. Best starting lines for a poem EVERRR!!!

    "For a simple buck,
    You can test your luck."

    1. haha the best you say?
      Hmm must not have seen some at my bay

  4. haha that was really good, I like that you took the tip jar, also this is my favourite part:

    Third time is the charm.
    What's the harm?
    Just another buck.
    Care to try your luck?

    Just rolls of your tongue!

    1. Yeah just flows in a way
      That makes one want to pay
      Maybe I should advertise
      Get some money for spreading lies

  5. The novelty is the same
    Call it whatever name
    Only the players are different
    And they don't seem to learn
    Players come players go
    Another buck? Ok, just one more
    It goes on and on
    Don't hope of having won
    Just think of having fun
    And anytime you can run


    1. Yeah run away
      Before night turns to day
      And over and over again
      Sucking all the money from your den

  6. This is a post that I can relate to so much due to my gambling issues haha. I know exactly what it's like, they use words and manipulate thoughts to get you to believe that you just need one more time, the next time to get the prize and just like in this rhyme once you've ran out of money they then move onto their next victim. The last bit is great too, stops me from leaving with a really bitter taste in my mouth, thank God you got revenge on those cretins!

    1. Yeah gambling days have come and gone
      Here at my lawn
      Thankfully I made out great
      So I know such a fate

  7. Just one more spin
    and you will win
    it's really not sin
    any more than is gin
    addictions are all kin
    just one more spin
    before the looney bin!

    1. haha that rubber room
      Can sure spell doom
      And bring you gloom
      Along with some shroom

  8. I'm sure it was the cat who did nothing but cheat
    not knowing how to do anything but mistreat
    a pull of a knob and watching wheels spin
    using a wooden nickel to get your win
    go run home and get back to your bay
    there's a litter box full of poo for you to go lay

    1. Pffft the cat doesn't need to cheat
      For no one out there can beat
      My little rhyming ass
      For I have too much class
      As you are well aware
      For I simply run around bare

  9. ha. Sounds like me at the slot machines.
    Bad luck was following me, oh so mean!

    1. haha luck is usually on my side
      When I give the slots a ride
      But it can change like the tide
      And away I watch the money glide

    2. It's still fun if you have money to blow
      and you know when to say no!

    3. Oh yeah I agree
      Been done plenty a time by me
      Of course now, no way
      Don't want to have an alley for a bay haha

  10. I didn't know there was one in the pub ~ Smiles ~

    I am not good with this luck thing,
    I end up losing them to machine ring ~

    Happy day Pat ~

    1. haha yeah they hide them in the back
      So the taxman doesn't cause them flack
      One pull or two
      And never know, a win could come due

  11. Such indeed is the fate of men
    Where the hell did I put my pen?

    1. Maybe in your sock?
      You'll notice it when you walk

  12. I need to show this post to my parents who have a serious gambling addiction. Maybe they could learn a thing or two about stealing the tip jar so they could actually pay their mortgage.

    1. haha as long as they don't take the tip jar and gamble that too
      Then out on the corner is where they'll come due

  13. Luck goes in pattern,
    turn your patient,cat/Pat On,
    and you'll get the kush-
    that's when time for tush!

    1. Yeah just have to give it a bit
      Then luck may surely hit
      Just have to know
      When to get up and go also

  14. see..this is why i'm always late with my commenting...got stuck with the game machine in the pub..ha

    1. I knew you were afflicted
      And a bit addicted
      Maybe one day you will win
      Could always rig it at your bin haha

  15. lol A game machine??? You should skip that and head on over to isketch ;) lol

    1. LOL back at that once more?
      Are you at your shore

  16. Gambling hotline may need a call
    Watch your wallet growing small
    You won't win, not at all
    They suck you in and watch you fall

    1. haha that is very true
      For most of what comes due
      But I have proven that wrong
      And made them sing a different song

  17. Today your fame
    is to write of each game,
    good luck to us all
    as our bank accounts fall.

    1. If mine got large
      I'd buy my own barge
      Errr umm Island I'd mean
      Barge would be a stinky scene

  18. I stopped using real money and only lose virtual cash now!

    1. Yeah virtual cash
      Is much easier to flash

  19. I don't mind gambling with toy money. Used to love making millions on Monopoly but, gambling and loosing real money.. nahhh... not for me, I even hate not winning at Bingo, that's why I never go! Darn it, rhyming again ;)

    1. Wow, you made millions on Monopoly you say?
      Damn must have been a lot of fake money floating around your bay haha

  20. Haha! Stealing their tips! I like that justice.

    1. Yeah that serves em right
      I steal them every night

  21. I'll bet
    not on
    games of
    for skill
    I'll drop
    a dime.

    When horses
    run it's
    loads of
    fun to
    lay some
    money down.

    And winning
    well it's
    not quite
    fair when
    is passed
    by Cousins
    who own
    said horses
    here and
    there who
    win most
    every time.

    It's not cheating, it's being smart. My mother had a racing Grey Hound once and it's name was Loll's Surprise. Fine dog, if only he'd ever won a race it would have been grand.

    Hey Cat, I just crawled out of bed. I posted then went dead asleep as it's been a long couple of days.

    1. Yeah not cheating at all
      Knowing the winner in the stall
      Never bet on a horse race
      Would be fun to do if I was somewhere where they took place
      Long days are all around
      Seems they are all that are found

  22. I think you are a lucky man LOL

  23. When games of chance come my way
    I much prefer to say, "Nay."
    For I'd rather not spend a buck
    on a game of pure luck.
    Don't want to lose
    unless I have booze.
    Then I think I'm a lucky f**k.

    1. What liquor can do
      To screw with you
      Give you liquid crap
      Make you take a dirt nap
      And wake up broke
      Maybe even a naked bloke

  24. Plus, the fun never ends
    with Words With Friends.
    'cause not a cent I spend.

    1. haha still need your cell bill
      Or internet for such a thrill
      So technically costs a cent or two
      Out of you

  25. OK I'm in I'll give 'em a roll

    come on lucky seven

    else I'll have to fold :(

    and there they go - can't look :) - peeps with one eye - YES!!!!

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx hugs n love Pat - lib

    1. Glad you could win
      Losing is such a sin
      And spreading the love
      Fits the cat like a glove

  26. Going straight to the tip jar
    is smartest move by far.
    And it doesn't cost a buck, so what the ---- I mean, why not?


    1. haha feel free to let it fly
      Swearing doesn't hurt the cat or those who come to spy

  27. I'm not a gambling girl,
    but now I want to give it a whirl...

    next time I have a dollar,
    I will give you a holler.

    Hey, I think I'm getting better at this! :)

    1. Not bad at all
      Here on my wall
      Give it go
      And win some dough
      But if it is a ton
      Send some to my sun haha

  28. Hi Pat....You just made a comment in my blog. I commented in response, "You are a wise man, Pat." I mean it. You really ARE. Thank you.

    1. Calling me wise you say
      Went and saw it at your bay
      I guess I can fake it well
      At least at my cell haha

  29. Theres a casino not far away

    I wish I could go there and play

    1. I went to mine once or twice
      Won enough to buy some rice


  30. either someone stole my wallet
    or i splashed way 2 much cash at the bar

    all i know
    is that i enjoyed the show

    ... to the bar again Pat

    Lets go!!!

    1. Back to the bar
      To steal the new tip jar

  31. I keep picturing you and Brian arm wrestling. Ha! And Claudia joining in. (Maybe with the cat! Or maybe beating both of you!) k.

    1. haha the cat would beat all
      Just a scratch and they would fall

  32. Damn…I 'm such a sucker for games…yep, rigged and all, I still think I'll win one at my stall…damn lotto gets a bit of what I have pretty much each day, for the charade of perhaps winning big one day…but the games in a bar, that is fun for sure, because the drunks will lose quicker than those who aren't, and the money will flow so quickly too…not sure about the tip jar thing, the d'verse police might try and make you sing, but games on the down low, if that's not a sign to avoid, well, then I don't know, but if you play, yep, might get annoyed.

    1. Yeah I play the lotto too
      Maybe not as much as you
      But you never know
      Could win at your show
      Even if I think that is rigged too
      Pffft the dVerse police have no clue

  33. A buck to change your luck:) nice . I have to find the game room :)

    1. Good luck
      They hide it until they find a sucker to lose a buck haha

  34. first i read the poem, then i read the explanation and i got the sense of a lottery also. i like the last stanza and the flat wallet. that's a great image.

    1. Yeah after given a once more poke
      All one usualy ends up is broke

  35. 'Oops I lost. Now, how did that happen?' I've never put a buck in a game machine, Pat. That must be the reason I still don't own a castle in Spain.

    1. Well maybe you should try
      Then money could rain from the sky