Wednesday, May 15, 2013

No Longer Fret When You Reach Out To Pet!

A while back it was mentioned about things not to pet. Some of them you know, I bet. But others maybe not. So the idea needed to be given the old rhyming hot to trot. Of course the cat strayed away from the really obscene. Have to keep it sorta clean.


The obvious is here,
Unless you want to lose an ear.
Then pet away.
But you won't have a very nice day.


Don't pet the dynamite,
Or in one quick flash of light,
You may be spread on the wall,
And go bouncing down the hall.


If this comes into your view,
Don't pet it at any zoo.
If you really must I guess,
You can go ahead and press.


As creepy as can be.
But don't pet to see if it is real at your sea.
Then the eyes may pop out.
That's enough to make you shout.


Even if something died there.
Don't pet it at your lair.
Might get fleas,
That bite your knees.


Don't pet the little guys.
For even in a santa disguise,
They will attack you,
Turning you black and blue.


Don't pet the cray old man.
For he will surely become your fan.
Then follow you home.
Now you'll have a peeping lawn gnome.


May look nice,
But surely think twice.
For you may begin to sneeze,
Coming away with some disease.


It isn't really a mutt.
So don't go petting at your hut.
Unless you want a good lick.
Then you might think it rather slick.


And never ever pet the blubber gut.
You'll get cracked like a nut.
And lose your face,
From its blubber embrace.

Now wasn't that a scare? At least a few at my lair. So the cat made sure you knew, what not to pet should they come into your view. Of course if it is your thing to lick people and such, you may pet a bit too much. See not too crass, like showing a bare naked picture of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, havea fling.

93 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Have to be fast
      To get the first blast

      Delete
  2. Sure found stuff I wouldn't want to see, let alone pet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha maybe watch from far away
      Their eww display

      Delete
    2. haha might need binoculars then
      At your den

      Delete
  3. I'm not going to lie, if I reached out to pet that alligator I would cry and possibly die. I'm with John DeBellis on this one, some of these bad boys I'd like to stay way from, great post Pat my chum.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha alligators make you cry
      I suppose good thing they aren't near your sky
      And yeah avoid indeed
      All at your feed

      Delete
  4. By the way my brother thinks that some day you will run out of rhymes, is this a sign of the times?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pffft never going to happen at my sea
      Only way I'll stop as if my arms give out on me
      Which would be the case
      With the crap things at my place

      Delete
  5. I never gave much thought
    Of who to pet or not
    But I'll have to agree
    With the likes of thee
    To keep my hands to myself
    Or end up like that elf

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah hands shouldn't be grabby
      Or things may be a bit stabby
      As you get poked
      Or some hands could leave one choked

      Delete
  6. Now I've been visually disturbed for the day...
    On the same page with crocs today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha glad I could give you your quota for the day
      Always fun to do at my bay

      Delete
  7. feeling a bit soiled after i roiled at someone licking my face
    and what up with ms wolverine hair, no not an xman, its a real one heck man...dont touch the porcupine you might get spined...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe she is trying out
      For the x-men with her hair shout
      And hope the soiled feeling goes away
      Just wipe it away at your bay haha

      Delete
  8. To pet or not to pet
    that is the question
    I ask of thee
    These things you see
    are rather disturbing
    so I think I may be curbing
    what I decide to pet at your zoo
    I think I'd rather pet a cat
    or a dog or two..though
    all animals are rather cute
    now, how do I get these
    pictures out of my mind...lol...

    Have a great day by your shore
    I am sure you have much more in store


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Always something in store
      Today at my shore
      And good things not to pet
      Dogs and cats are a safe bet
      Unless they are nasty ones
      Then they may scratch or bite tons
      Good luck getting them out of your head
      Just think happy thoughts to avoid their dread lol

      Delete
  9. that blubber gut picture is amazing...she is going to be sucked into the vortex of the bellybutton!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe she'll come back with something new
      Discovering a new animal for the zoo

      Delete
  10. I wonder if that poor girl found any snacks to eat that were buried deep inside that blubber gut? Mmmmmm Mmmmmm GOOOOOD!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha could add flavor I suppose
      Something in there probably glows

      Delete
  11. Petting an alligator does seem risky
    As does petting a cat who's overly frisky
    I have often thought I would like to pet a lion
    But if it bit me I'd be a cryin'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah but at least in most cases
      Cats won't bite off faces
      Good luck with that
      You may look like beef stew to that cat

      Delete
  12. Replies
    1. Once you go in
      You never get out at your bin

      Delete
  13. Pat, you and your cat
    As sadists are phat;
    You've either struck me blind,
    Or caused me to lose my mind.

    EW!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha oh so fun
      To give a run
      Hope you can still see
      And just go a little crazy

      Delete
  14. Surely no disease from my main squeeze!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So you kiss and tell
      There at your cell

      Delete
  15. ew, ew, ew, that last picture is so disturbing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha so fun to do
      But I agree with the eww

      Delete
  16. Ewwwww to some of those photos. And my pet alligator took great offense to the advice not to pet him. He loves a good belly rub. I can't help that the last person to do that rubbed him the wrong way. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that gator I will never rub
      No way i want to become your pet's grub

      Delete
  17. Blah!! Can you imagine the stink that would come out of the folds in that guys gut!! So gross!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yeah be nasty indeed
      To be near such a gut at any feed

      Delete
  18. The perfect doorbell they have found.
    It says,"No one shall Hound!"
    Of course not,weirdos abound.

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah weirdos will delight
      In such a fright

      Delete
  19. Maybe there are no pictures of anyone's naked little ass
    but that last picture sure has some nasty sass
    Took me a minute of staring to figure it out
    Now bleaching my eyes so they don't become too stout.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha watch the bleach
      Too much and your face will look like a leech

      Delete
  20. YIKES! I haven't seen any of those on Petfinder!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Prob a good thing
      None of them would get adopted at any wing

      Delete
  21. It's good to know
    what not to pet -
    someone
    who make me fret..

    ...at least gater shows
    his attitude
    and not pretending as
    a piece of wood...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah he does not wait
      And warns all of their fate

      Delete
  22. Pet the rump
    of a deer,
    I'll never
    go near.

    They guy with
    those eyes
    oh me, and oh my.

    Touch poodle head
    well I'd rather
    be dead.

    Creepy old guy
    just won't
    be done
    under my sun.

    I have my
    own breasts
    to touch
    and yes
    though smaller
    than those keeps
    hubby on his toes.

    Now Cat, you need to take your own advice on blubber guy and get out from under your Viking woman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But she lets me chew
      So I stay there at my zoo
      And touching is never wrong
      As long as it is yourself and not some wanna be donkey kong

      Delete
  23. *shudders* Definitely things not to pet!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I need that deer butt doorbell. Would surely keep the telemarketers at bay!

    And that last guy- barf!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They will never bother you
      With a deer butt in view

      Delete
  25. I have no desire to pet any of those. And who the heck would have a deer butt crack door bell? Something is not right with that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a redneck doorbell
      Bet they think it is swell

      Delete
  26. Dear Pat, I must lead such a sheltered life--I'd never before seen some of these pictures. And I must be honest, I hope I never see them again! Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't blame you
      As any of them were rather eww

      Delete
  27. To pet is not the problem here,
    the answer is easy...just stay clear!
    I'll pet a dog or a kitty cat,
    but pet one of these? I'd rather scat...Pat :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well at least you would rather scat
      Then pet such a thing at your mat
      Petting scat is not something one should do
      Ever at their zoo haha

      Delete
  28. Oh! Those eyes almost made me shout!
    How can he pull them out?
    Must have some really long muscles in there!
    Wouldn't want to do that at my lair!

    The worst is the blubber belly
    That girl must have brains of jelly!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess she thought it was fun
      To go on a blubber run
      And yeah those eyes are creepy
      Must suck when they get weepy

      Delete
  29. Definitely things here I wouldn't want to pet!

    ReplyDelete
  30. orlin N cassie...we wood rather sea cat azz then sum oh de above peace out N rock on, show each other sum love :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We will beat each other up here
      That is love in a different gear

      Delete
  31. Goodness gracious, the pictures you share
    How you come up with them and where
    Makes me wonder what you do
    When not building your Amazon zoo!!!
    Just teasing, hope you know
    But you sure make me go "WHOA!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is the point
      Here at my joint
      Fun to disturb and make one go whoa
      As the weird and nasty show

      Delete
  32. That's a doorbell? Seriously? I wonder how many times they have people over.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha bet they just knock
      After the initial shock

      Delete
  33. Some of these pics are sure scary
    specially the last one, the one with eyes & hair


    Hope you are enjoying spring weather ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah scary indeed
      But fun to do at my feed

      Delete
  34. Things not to pet
    This I bet
    Don't pet a pet peeve
    And with that, I leave

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Might be hard to pet
      But can annoy, you bet

      Delete
  35. I'm not sure which is scarier: the eyeballs, the belly fat, or Pamela Anderson!
    Pat ~ you certainly have a hilarious time with your rhyming fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah can use anything at all
      Here at my hall

      Delete
  36. You definitely have convinced me...
    I will NOT pet
    except with my pets!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha glad I could convince you
      With such a view

      Delete
  37. That face with the eyes pulled down is creepy in a super gross kind of way and the head in the blubbery tummy isn't any better. Funny poem, though!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah they are a scary sight
      Fun to give a run but maybe better in the dark of night

      Delete
  38. haha omg WHERE, OH, WHERE, DID YOU FIND SO MANY UGLY THINGS WITH HAIR?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the cat searched around
      Way more can be found

      Delete
  39. I'd pet some of these but only if you paid me a handsome sum of money and then dunked my hand in boiling water after.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah for the right amount I'd pet too
      But then bleach would have to come due

      Delete
  40. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. :)
    tm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha good advice indeed
      You leave at my feed

      Delete
  41. these are terrible and you know of course!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That I do
      And they are so loved by you

      Delete
  42. Last with a blast! Ding!

    Love that doorbell, Cat.
    Amazon do you reckon?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha you never know
      Could make quite the amount of dough
      If you could sell those things
      Many may give them rings

      Delete
    2. Still last at your zoo
      What's that name you gave me?
      Grumpy Goo.

      Find my door a press that bell
      Stick it in and yell haha

      Delete
    3. haha now you
      Grumpy goo
      Something would come due
      That would make all blue

      Delete
    4. Knowing
      Poor grammar showing

      Delete
  43. OMG, where do you find this stuff?

    GROSS!

    ReplyDelete