Tuesday, July 9, 2013

A dVerse Date Is Thankfully Not My Fate!

It is another round of the scary that have been found. Thankfully there was no dVerse date because Pat refused to open the gate. I guess he can be bright and once more bring no B&C to our site.

"Wanna bake my cake tonight?"
Ummm by your sight,
You ate one too many already.
But feel free to keep eating them steady.

"I hate cat balls, so stop giving them to me!"
Wow, I really will flee.
I never asked to be snip snip,
So don't go giving me any lip.

"What do you say I come to Mars and probe?"
Sure as hell stay off this globe.
Go to mars and stay away,
No probes allowed at my bay.

"I have my own rome, car and job."
What about poor Bob?
And you own Rome?
Wow, you must have one giant lawn gnome.

"Crayons bring me joy."
Are you being coy?
And really at your hall,
You're saying you like things small?

"Dial my digits and I'll forgo the charge."
You mean you have reception on your barge?
Are you a telemarketer trying to get me?
My digits you will never see.

"Is it sunny where you are?"
It is at my bar.
But by the look of your rump,
Much sun doesn't get on each bump.

"Lets go camping in the dark."
Rather listen to a dog bark.
That is the beginning of a horror movie.
Ending up a slasher victim isn't groovy.

"Your face is poetry to me."
Wait! Are you stalking my sea?
Do I have writing on my face?
It better rhyme at a steady pace.

"I'm not easy unless you mow my lawn."
So much gutter thoughts dawn.
But yard work I hate,
Plus I can't pay your rate.

Well at least many of them could spell this time with their dating search chime. But still as scary as can be. Still fun to be used by little old me. And so another dating mass has come to pass. Thankfully Pat avoided each lass which delights my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

103 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Poor Hank
      His streak walked the plank

      Delete
  2. ha! so that is who hordes all the cat balls

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Secret exposed at eleven
      Or is it seven

      Delete
  3. It must be midnight or something in the western world, no people commenting this post till now.

    How can someone even imagine cat balls
    Everything seems possible at Pat's hall

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. they will come
      Takes them a while in the summer to hum
      It was a slip
      Probably meant calls when the words did a flip

      Delete
  4. What? You don't want to call a sex hotline

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't they make porn for that?
      No need to get charged a rate even if flat

      Delete
  5. no probes, that is my policy,
    & no cat balls, what a small meal that would make anyway
    beside the point---no, camping maybe, & the face of poetry,
    you're using my pick up lines again, ha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You would eat the cat balls
      My what thought befalls haha
      Camping no way
      Stealing your lines is fun at my bay
      Even if I didn't know
      And another gave them a bellow

      Delete
  6. "I'm not easy unless you mow my lawn'
    sounds like a line to put into a song.
    Sell it to the country western folk
    I'm not kidding; nope, not a joke!
    I can hear it sung by some guitar-strumming bloke.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha could be a hit
      Sung by each nitwit
      And make the cat rich
      Or have him end up in the ditch

      Delete
  7. Might be robbin' the cradle with the crayon chick, but like they say, "a key to a man's heart is through his stomach". So, you really may want to bake that lady's cake!!! Hey, thanks so much for the shout out on your blog. I feel like a rock star being one of the chosen few!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is one cake
      I don't want to bake or make
      No problem at all
      Did that a few weeks ago at my hall

      Delete
  8. Strange requests it seems to me
    They'll light up any christmas tree
    Some people like to leave their mark
    Like Sellers it's a shot in the dark

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah request I will avoid
      Make me paranoid
      Rather watch a dog bark
      And go from tree to tree leaving its mark

      Delete
    2. Like that last line Manzi as I'm a huge Peter Sellers fan.

      Delete
    3. Let your hair twirl
      Fan girl lol

      Delete
  9. The crayon response made me chuckle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well one does wonder I suppose
      If small curls her toes

      Delete
  10. I have my own rome....
    oh their head is an empty dome.
    hahaha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Empty and full of air
      But maybe they still care

      Delete
  11. It's good it's sunny
    where we are,
    for how long
    this summer dur...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Finally not as hot too
      Which is nice at my zoo

      Delete
  12. Someone has to come up with better pick-up lines!!! ,-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh, how I wish it was sunny
    Nope,just rainy,muddy and runny.

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sunny here
      Rain stopped coming near

      Delete
  14. It's so bizarre how some of these guys think these are going to secure them dates. If anything instead of a date they'll get loads of hate! This always makes me laugh buddy, some of these people are just ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they need spell check indeed
      Never going to get anywhere close to doing the deed

      Delete
  15. People are nuts! At least the dating game isn't boring these days? Maybe I should be glad I got married so young.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes glad you should
      So many out there who are crazy and dumb as wood

      Delete
  16. Owning Rome would sure get you a date

    they can call you Caesar at the gate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would be grand
      Until they stabbed me in the back at my land

      Delete
  17. I sure am glad us cats don't have those problems!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah once snip snip
      Don't even do a flip

      Delete
  18. You wouldn't bake a cake for a chance at love?
    Or buy someone a turtle dove?
    I wonder how much Rome goes for these days?
    Perhaps I'll save up and buy it to bask in the sunrays

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The first is nasty
      The second maybe
      Might get it on the cheap
      As down the market does creep

      Delete
  19. Orson sez: I didn't "give" mine to anyone! They took 'em from me!

    ReplyDelete
  20. These lines give me the creeps;
    What attracts these strange peeps?
    Dating success was mine
    But not via online.
    He said, "Would you like to ride?"
    From that I could not hide.
    We mounted bikes and Moab rode
    From there true love blowed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True love on a bike
      As the match is given a strike
      Beats the online crazy loons
      At their sand dunes

      Delete
  21. "Your face is poetry to me" - I like that line ~

    Too bad on the dating mess but thankful that no rain
    is dampening your shore ~ Happy Tuesday Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah nice that there is no rain
      Even with the crazies at my lane

      Delete
  22. Makes me glad I'm married Cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be very glad
      The dating world is mad

      Delete
  23. "How do you like your eggs, scrambled or fertilised", has never worked for me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha keep trying
      One day they may end up frying

      Delete
  24. oh i wish i had my own rome on the frontyard lawn...ha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be one big arse lawn
      Stretch the whole length of dawn

      Delete
  25. I don't miss those pick up lines galore
    Where to men find them? The dumbass store?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who really knows
      Maybe reality tv shows

      Delete
  26. "What do you say I come to Mars and probe?"
    Sure as hell stay off this globe. <-This whole thing is hilarious, and that line's my favorite. Your insults are much funnier than their pick-up lines. Great job, Pat. I love it when you turn the tables on women like this. It inspires me. =)

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have to keep up with you
      And your scary man dating crew
      Glad I can inspire too
      Here at my zoo

      Delete
  27. orlin N cassie...N like noe oh fence cassie....thiz bee most lee ta orlin....
    we reely liked R cat balls... but then like once, we went ta sleep... N when we waked up we wuz like what de ba jezuz...N ta this day, we STILL dunno what happened two em....

    ~~~~ boomer & tuna

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah I know that feeling well
      Maybe they take them and sell

      Delete
  28. hilarious! Dating can be quite scary.
    Nutschell
    www.thewritingnut.com

    ReplyDelete
  29. Some people are smart,
    And some people ain't.
    One guy's a demon,
    The other a saint.
    Some can't think,
    And others can't spell.
    Some are headed for heaven,
    The others, to hell.
    But they've one thing in common
    That I'm thinking of,
    They provide fodder for your blog
    As they're searching for love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that they do
      Here at my zoo
      If they only knew
      They may sue

      Delete
  30. Does that Rome thing come with a wishing fountain? Because I'd wish she got sent back to Mars on a probe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would be grand
      You could scare them away from my land

      Delete
  31. I'm sure there are some bars at Mars...

    ReplyDelete
  32. Does crayon girl
    live in a world
    where everything is soft?
    Does she have a jacket
    that does up the back or does it
    hold her arms aloft?

    There are some seriously crazy people out there

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes very crazy nuts
      Needs to go to the loony bin huts

      Delete
  33. When dishes break and keys are lost
    or all the frozen food defrosts,
    I know the man who did the job,
    a pretend man I know as Bob.

    Nobody lives in someone's house
    and creeps around like a mouse,
    but Bob is my one scapegoat,
    truth is told, confession wrote.

    PS I love crayons

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha blame it on your imaginary friend
      Scream at him to no end
      Poor poor bob
      His confidence you rob

      Delete
    2. Oh and you love them small
      At your hall? lol

      Delete
  34. The dating game is not for me
    Six months woe and six months free
    At least no mention of probe Uranus
    Bottoms up we don't make discuss

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah no bottom up for me
      That is just scary

      Delete
  35. I have my own Rome :) Nice ..and these lines..
    "Your face is poetry to me."
    Wait! Are you stalking my sea?
    Do I have writing on my face?
    It better rhyme at a steady pace.
    Well done :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha your own Rome
      must be quite the home

      Delete
  36. I like the 'I'm not easy unless you mow my lawn':)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Not to open up to the undesired
    One may end up in something weird
    State one's stand
    Stay in neutral land
    They keep a distance when they feared

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That distance is kept indeed
      At my feed
      Many a nut
      Has come to my hut
      So can sense that seed

      Delete
  38. These are rather funny

    One owns Rome & calls it home
    does he sit upon a throne
    perhaps his dates can ask for a loan

    I rather like the line
    "your face is poetry to me"
    that is sure to make one shine
    maybe, even get him a little time (lol)

    Gee where do you get these at your sea
    I think I'd rather say leave me be
    while I drink my wine and dine(alone)

    So tell me how's the weather..it's cooler
    here but, now it's raining again..I think
    the weather is a bit off the radar..

    Hope you are feeling better...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha they crazies i just attract
      I mean you come with your rhyming act hahaha
      Enough said?
      Now don't blabber off your pretty little head haha
      The weather was great today
      Just right at our bay
      But since it is raining there
      Probably will soon at my lair

      Delete
    2. haha - well, you started me on this
      rhyming act, sometimes I
      have a word attack, and
      blabber away, what more
      can I say at your bay
      hmmm, wondering what next
      you will display...

      We already established
      that you & I are crazy
      but, so much fun under
      under your sun..and you
      do like to play along
      as I sing my love songs(heehee)

      Hope you get some sleep
      as you drift into the deep
      if not try counting sheep
      1..2...3...4...5..6...7..zzzzzzzz

      Delete
    3. Those sheep make to much noise
      They bring no joys
      So I just think black
      And brings on the sleep attack
      Going all lyrical too I see
      Blabber away as it is done my me

      Delete
    4. So, did you sleep last night
      or did you burn the light
      lyrical is the way to go
      as I enjoy it's flow
      here at my show..

      perhaps, you should count
      mice as a cat finds them
      rather nice..(laughing)

      Delete
    5. Slept a bit
      but it wasn't a hit
      Much work to do
      Here at my zoo

      Delete
  39. Mars is too far out in the stars
    for a probe with a strobe--

    Yikes--you got some scary lines going on there

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it wasn't eve made up
      At least the dating hiccup

      Delete
  40. Oh! We didn't get past the cat balls. We're almost afraid to ask exactly what they are or what they are made of.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah i was afraid too
      So we stopped no matter her view

      Delete
  41. Ev'ry line is cornier than the last
    At least these dates went away fast
    We thinks you kids have a checkered past
    But if you spilled it we'd be aghast!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah oh so wrong
      May need to move to hong kong

      Delete
  42. dating is like playing tag with a wrecking ball, or two if you're a cat
    it sounds like the perfect solution is to follow the wise words of Pat Hatt

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not sure they are wise
      But they are fun cries

      Delete
  43. Get your head out of the gutter. There's only room for one and I've already occupied it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pfft with your skinny self
      There is enough room for many in the gutter self

      Delete
  44. I've gone camping many a time and never thought a thing of it. We've even 'camped' in the backyard, but now that I've seen some of the animals that come around at night (just in our own yard), it's def. not on my agenda again any time soon. Sometimes oblivion really is best. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah it is best
      Then you learn of each furry pest

      Delete
  45. So you don't like cat balls? I would take a cat ball over a hair ball any day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ummm no
      Not those kind of cat balls at my show

      Delete
  46. Enjoyable read, nice to meet you!

    ReplyDelete
  47. Very funny post, Pat
    Scary dates at your mat
    Not good enough for the cat
    Keep on looking at your bay
    Love is on the way :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha so you say
      With my luck the day is far away

      Delete