Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Nice Buy Try, Then Goodbye!

Everyone has seen it at one time or another. Hell, maybe one is even your brother. There are people that are as nice as can be, as long as they think they are going to get something from thee.

Oh, you need a new car?
Come and leave your door ajar.
I'll hook you up.
Make you a happy pup.

Oh, you don't need a new car?
Go play in tar.
I have other things to do.
But talk to me when you need something new.

You need a new internet/phone/whatever provider?
Come and sit on my divider.
It may be a little hard on the ass.
But we'll hook you up in mass.

You don't need a new whatever provider?
Go and be a horse rider.
As in ride far far away.
Come again another day.

You need a new house?
One without a mouse.
Come to me today.
I'll hook you up and get my pay.

You don't need a new house?
Go eat a mouse.
That is all I have to say.
Don't have a nice day.

You want to sell your home?
Come here and roam.
I am your man.
I'm your greatest fan.

You don't want to sell your home?
Pffft, go chew on Styrofoam.
I hope you choke too.
But be sure and chew.

You need a new this or that.
How about a new cat?
Come and buy from me.
I'll be oh so friendly to thee.

You don't need anything at all?
Pffft go bounce on a ball.
Leave me alone at my sea.
I don't have time for thee.

There are hundreds of examples out there. I could go on all day at my lair. Know any such people at your sea? A few are known by me. I just avoid or flip them the bird. Actually I'll probably just say the word. Then drop them a little gas. Works for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.


  1. Replies
    1. One top once more
      The blue wave left shore

    2. Suza was number one!
      Such fun!
      As Blue was on the road
      Stuck like a toad

  2. Always getting asked by realtors
    To sell my condo
    If I wanted to I'd call you
    Don't be a dodo

    1. Sound advice: don't be a dodo
      And don't hook up with Frodo
      Suza is number one
      Such fun!
      Guess who was on the road
      Like a blue toad...

    2. That would be annoying too
      Throw them out the window at your zoo

    3. Will do
      Or beat them with a kangaroo shoe

    4. That would be big
      Beat them like a twig

  3. You know who I learned is like that also...furniture salesman!!!!! They are worse than car salesmans. I swear.

    1. lmao haven't dealt with them much at my sea
      I'll keep that in mind should it ever come to be

  4. Those whose only conversation involves what they are selling and if you're not interested, they aren't talking to you.
    Which if you think about it, is just fine!

    1. Yep, fine as can be
      As they go try and find another fee

  5. You flip them the bird?
    How unpolitically-correct like a turd!

  6. Nice Buy Try, Then Goodbye!
    Dispose your asset on the sly
    Do it without fanfare
    They need not be aware
    Best price falls from the sky


    1. They'll make you think it
      With each hiss and spit

  7. Let me cook for you
    then I will eat with you too

    May I do the assignment as well?
    But will borrow from you all the bells!

    well I know what you mean Pat!

    (are u on twitter,insta, snapchat?)

    1. haha yep, there are all kinds
      Lying off their little behinds
      Twitter here and there
      Only one at my lair

  8. Everyone's out to make a buck
    If you don't buy, you really suck
    They drop you like a hot potato
    Splat you with a rotten tomato

    1. Yippeee, for me
      Then if the rotten comes to be
      Could sue and take their money
      Sure they won't find that funny lol

  9. Oh yeah, so know these people. I don't know how they do all the selling, I just couldn't annoy people like that ;) I try to avoid them, too!
    Have a great day!

    1. Avoidance is key
      Yeah, trying to sell would sure annoy me

  10. Ha, when you come right down to it, how much do we really NEED anyway? It is more about what we WANT most of the time than what we NEED! Enjoy your day.........at your bay.

    1. Yep, not much of it we truly need
      But a sucker born every minute at their feed

  11. It's all about commission.
    That is their intention.

    1. Yep, need to up it
      So they get more than a bit

  12. They got to make a living somehow
    even though they annoy us all the time
    some of their actions though
    can be considered a bit slime


    1. Yep, a few delve deep
      Into the slime ball keep

  13. I wish some of these people that try to sell me things would drop me like a hot potato. You have a great day Pat.

  14. ha, people always act like your best friend,
    when you have a means to their financial end,
    sorry i'm not buying anything from you today,
    i hope our friendship can survive the lack of pay!

    1. lol toss those who say no in the sea
      Easy as can be

  15. Selling me something from back of van, you take bold children?

  16. I think people like that are everywhere.

  17. We though we hear a carnival barker somewhere!

  18. Need nothing new. We need to use the stuff we already have.

  19. They're always trying to get you to spend your money.

  20. The worst for me was a job. They were so nice. Just transfer to their school and be loved. I did enjoy the students, but the office staff became Mr. Hyde, ey yi yi.

    1. The old switcheroo
      As they turn on you

  21. Someone is always trying to get me to take out a loan so I can buy more:) How thoughtful:)

    1. Yeah, thoughtful for you
      And interest rates too

    2. Before you know it you gotta sell your shoe

    3. Sell all
      Been there at my hall

  22. orlin N cassie...thiz iz knot a prayer but we say AMEN ta THAT.....peepulz iz all ways nice when they want sum thin... then itz like.....who R ewe ??? .....faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....


    1. They sure run far away
      Burds are even better than them on display

  23. Here or there
    people strive everywhere
    wrong or right
    low or high
    keep their nose in the air.

    1. That they do
      Trying to pull one over on you

  24. haha - Someone is always selling something
    but, be careful you might end up with nothing
    using some muscling as they are hustling

  25. I don't listen to them specially those with scripted voice or pasted emails ~ If you don't watch it, they will hustle you to buy something from them ~

    1. Yep,have to watch each one
      As they give the same old same old run

  26. These people are on TV
    they are on the phone
    and up a tree.
    They say things like it is free
    but only at 9.99 and we'll let you be.
    I don't care where they are
    as long as they a very far
    away from me
    or I will kick their ass up a tree.

    1. lol maybe they will like the tree
      And even your ass kicking spree

  27. Reminds me of the Notre Dame football players that would come into the restaurant I worked at, trying to be all nice. Then "Hook it up!" they would squeal, hoping for a free meal. Pft, to that I would say. Then they would get angry and walk away. Yep, only nice when they want something.

    1. ugg big headed buffoons want stuff for free
      They can play football, whoopi

  28. I fell for the 'Sell' when we changed internet providers. The salesman promised me this that and the other, when it came down to it - the salesmen don't talk to the installers or the bill collectors. Half of what he said was a bald faced lie.
    The 'Sell': A man dies - at the gates he's met by a man who gives him a choice. He's shown Heaven - a beautiful place with people dressed in white walking around praising the Lord. Then he's shown Hell - a beautiful beach with people playing ball, boating, music - everyone having a good time. Well? The man asks, what's your choice? The beach, of course. He enters the elevator and goes down, but when he gets to Hell he finds fire, demons, and lots of pain. You lied to me he says. I'm just the salesman, the guy tells him.

    1. lol that is a good story to live by
      As salesmen surely lie and lie and lie

  29. Required suggestive selling at Mickey D's
    Always made me so week in the knees